Who’ll Walk Me Down the Aisle?
Hey, Shandra! This is something I've been asked before and the truth is, there are a number of options you can look into, so I will share them all with you. In the end, it's your wedding, so you need to decide what is most meaningful and comfortable for you.
If you have your heart set on having one of your fathers walk you down the aisle, then you need to make that decision based on your relationships with each of them. It is important to decide based on your individual relationships — not on how you think the other father will feel. Then, once you decision is made, be honest about it. Hiding your choice until the last minute will only make the moment more tense. If you're not comfortable having this discussion alone, then your fiance should go with you. Simply ask the father in question to respect your choice and understand that this is what you feel is best for you.
Today, many brides faced with this decision are deciding that in order to maintain peace, they will go an entirely different way! There is absolutely no rule that says it has to be a father who walks you down the aisle at all. Many brides are choosing to have their mother, a close friend, a brother, an uncle, an aunt or another close relative walk them down the aisle. Is there someone who has been a steady support in your life? Perhaps your mother has been your only constant support in all this, and you want to honor her for this. Or perhaps you have a special aunt who was there for you, a sibling you are close to or a friend who is closer than family. Any of these people are wonderful choices for this place of honor in your special day.
Yet another option that is becoming more common is the bride walking herself down the aisle. There are a number of ways this is done. You can have both of your sets of parents meet you at the front of the aisle and stand on either side of you — when the officiant asks "Who gives this woman?" they can all reply We Do together. Another option, which I saw done at a wedding just last month, is to have all sets of parents — yours and his — stand where they are sitting, and have the officiant ask, "Who gives their blessing for this union?" with all sets of parents responding together! This is a wonderful way to get everyone involved and to show honor and respect to all the parents, not just your fathers.
Well, I hope some of that has proved useful. Remember, this is your wedding day and it isn't about the events or the little details. It is about the lifelong commitment you are making to the wonderful man you have chosen to marry. Surround yourself with those who are your strongest support through thick and thin, and you will never regret it.
The Expert
Crystal Unrau is an experienced wedding planner who specializes in ettiquette, wedding decor, wedding fashion, wedding planning and most importantly, dream weddings on a budget. She is the owner of Chrys Cross Bridal - offering affordable bridal collections for the Princess on a Budget. She is also the chief designer for on of Canada's newest Haute Couture collections, Nadine Sheree Haute Couture!
July 11th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
Recently, my husband’s daughter chose her wedding date. She also informed us that she will be asking her mother’s husband (stepfather) as well as my husband (biological father) to walk her down the aisle together. My husband has always had a close relationship with his daughter. As a matter of fact, she and her fiance rent (at a very discounted rate) an apartment in our home.
My husband is terribly hurt by this decision for several reasons. First, she is his daughter and he has always looked forward to this day. Secondly, his daughter NEVER got along with her stepfather when she lived in his home. They have only gotten along over the last two years while she has lived here. Her stepfather makes a good deal of money in his own business and can afford to give her much more money than we can toward her wedding and we feel that this is the reason why she is asking him to walk her down the aisle. Could you please give me advise on how this situation should be handled. I am afraid that this will damage the relationship between my husband and his daughter for the rest of their lives. Thank you.
January 28th, 2008 at 5:10 am
who walks the mother of the bride down the aisle before the bride walks
down with her father ?
October 30th, 2007 at 11:02 am
I would like to have both my father and stepfather walk me down the aisle. Is it more traditional to have them both walk me the whole way, or one walk me half way and the other the other half?
September 14th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
what is a good song for a brother to walk his sister down the isle to
July 2nd, 2007 at 9:44 pm
Hi!
I have a question as to who “walking the mother of the bride down the aisle.” I have 4 sons who are groomsmen in their sister’s wedding. The oldest will walk his paternal grandmother down the aisle; the 2nd oldest will walk his maternal grandmother down the aisle. That leaves 2 sons and only the mother of the bride left. What is the best way to handle this?
January 8th, 2007 at 8:52 am
Who does walk the bride, if father and step father both raised the bride?
Any suggestions. the two dont get on that well.
April 14th, 2006 at 4:33 pm
Who walks the mother of the bride down the aisle? Do you ever see the mother and father of the bride walk the bride down together?