Who’ll Walk Me Down the Aisle?
Hey, Shandra! This is something I've been asked before and the truth is, there are a number of options you can look into, so I will share them all with you. In the end, it's your wedding, so you need to decide what is most meaningful and comfortable for you.
If you have your heart set on having one of your fathers walk you down the aisle, then you need to make that decision based on your relationships with each of them. It is important to decide based on your individual relationships — not on how you think the other father will feel. Then, once you decision is made, be honest about it. Hiding your choice until the last minute will only make the moment more tense. If you're not comfortable having this discussion alone, then your fiance should go with you. Simply ask the father in question to respect your choice and understand that this is what you feel is best for you.
Today, many brides faced with this decision are deciding that in order to maintain peace, they will go an entirely different way! There is absolutely no rule that says it has to be a father who walks you down the aisle at all. Many brides are choosing to have their mother, a close friend, a brother, an uncle, an aunt or another close relative walk them down the aisle. Is there someone who has been a steady support in your life? Perhaps your mother has been your only constant support in all this, and you want to honor her for this. Or perhaps you have a special aunt who was there for you, a sibling you are close to or a friend who is closer than family. Any of these people are wonderful choices for this place of honor in your special day.
Yet another option that is becoming more common is the bride walking herself down the aisle. There are a number of ways this is done. You can have both of your sets of parents meet you at the front of the aisle and stand on either side of you — when the officiant asks "Who gives this woman?" they can all reply We Do together. Another option, which I saw done at a wedding just last month, is to have all sets of parents — yours and his — stand where they are sitting, and have the officiant ask, "Who gives their blessing for this union?" with all sets of parents responding together! This is a wonderful way to get everyone involved and to show honor and respect to all the parents, not just your fathers.
Well, I hope some of that has proved useful. Remember, this is your wedding day and it isn't about the events or the little details. It is about the lifelong commitment you are making to the wonderful man you have chosen to marry. Surround yourself with those who are your strongest support through thick and thin, and you will never regret it.
The Expert
Crystal Unrau is an experienced wedding planner who specializes in ettiquette, wedding decor, wedding fashion, wedding planning and most importantly, dream weddings on a budget. She is the owner of Wedding Style Diva.
I have a situtation that needs some attention and advice. I was honored to walk my God daughter down the isle on her W edding day due to the fact her father did not agree that the Groom was a different race then his own. He totaly disowned her. Now his other daughter is getting married and he will walk her down the Isle on her Wedding day. The person she is about to marry is not the same race as she is either. Everybody that is getting invited was at the first daughter’s Wedding and did not agree with the fathers decision. Should the father stand back or make a fool of himself? 80% of the people do not want to attend if he goes through with this. Need help to resolve this issue.
Thank you
The post messed up so i cant address the name. The guests should attend anyway cause they are there for the bride and not the father. I can imagine the disappointment she would feel if noone showed up due to this dilemma. Right now, she needs as much loving support as she can get. otherwise her wedding day will not be a joyous occasion. She shouldnt pay for her fathers decision. Please go it would mean the world to her!!
Thanks for the advice, the bride to be is a wonderful person. We are all sadden the way her father treats her sister whom has done nothing wrong but fall in love with her soulmate. You are right that the bride should not pay for her Fathers ignorance. Someday he will realize the damage he’s done to his family and the people he has offended. My wife & I will attend and will let you know the outcome!!
Thank you
I need help!I just let my father know that I want both him and my stepfather to walk me down the aisle. He is hurt. He says he doesn’t think he can do it. I am not sure what to do. My stepfather has been there almost my whole life. I want them both there with me. Should I just have my dad to avoid the break between my father and I. I am worried that this is going to hurt our relationshio. My stepmother thinks that I am being selfish and doesn’t think that I am thinking or anyone but myself. What is the best way to handle this situation?
I have the exact same problem! Have you handeled it yet? If so, what did you do? I’ve been looking up how others have addressed this issue and as far as I can tell, the decision is certainly up to the bride. I hope you had/have good luck with it. :)
what side does the father of the bride walk on with me the left or the right?
tammi,
he walks on the right
I am getting married in august and I dont feel that my dad has the right to walk me down the aisle or give me away due to the fact that he left me, my mom and sister when I was only four and then barely was around for the rest of my life and even now that he lives in the neighborhood I barely hear from him, he is expecting to walk me down the aisle and I just dont know how to break the news to him that I want my mom to walk me down the aisle because she is the one that worked as much as she could to give me everything that I have ever needed and wanted… any one have any advice, I have been going nuts trying to figure out how to break the news to him since I got engaged in June ‘08….pleasegive me some advice!!!!!
Kendra,
Just try being honest with him and telling him you want your mom by your side, just where she has been your entire life. Your dad will understand how important it is to you. Remember, it’s your big day; you can do what you want and most importantly, what makes you happy.
Recently, my husband’s daughter chose her wedding date. She also informed us that she will be asking her mother’s husband (stepfather) as well as my husband (biological father) to walk her down the aisle together. My husband has always had a close relationship with his daughter. As a matter of fact, she and her fiance rent (at a very discounted rate) an apartment in our home.
My husband is terribly hurt by this decision for several reasons. First, she is his daughter and he has always looked forward to this day. Secondly, his daughter NEVER got along with her stepfather when she lived in his home. They have only gotten along over the last two years while she has lived here. Her stepfather makes a good deal of money in his own business and can afford to give her much more money than we can toward her wedding and we feel that this is the reason why she is asking him to walk her down the aisle. Could you please give me advise on how this situation should be handled. I am afraid that this will damage the relationship between my husband and his daughter for the rest of their lives. Thank you.
What happened with this? I have the same situation except my stepdad was always there for me. How did things work out?
who walks the mother of the bride down the aisle before the bride walks
down with her father ?
I would like to have both my father and stepfather walk me down the aisle. Is it more traditional to have them both walk me the whole way, or one walk me half way and the other the other half?
what is a good song for a brother to walk his sister down the isle to
Hi!
I have a question as to who “walking the mother of the bride down the aisle.” I have 4 sons who are groomsmen in their sister’s wedding. The oldest will walk his paternal grandmother down the aisle; the 2nd oldest will walk his maternal grandmother down the aisle. That leaves 2 sons and only the mother of the bride left. What is the best way to handle this?
Who does walk the bride, if father and step father both raised the bride?
Any suggestions. the two dont get on that well.
Who walks the mother of the bride down the aisle? Do you ever see the mother and father of the bride walk the bride down together?