By now, surely everyone's familiar with the unity
candle, but did you know there are other unification ceremonies
to choose from when planning your wedding?
Although the unity candle seems to have been with
us forever, in reality it's only about ten years old. During those
years, more "two-become-one" motifs have arrived to round
out the theme.
Unification ceremonies aren't just a symbol of
togetherness, they're also flexible elements of a wedding. These
ceremonies can be "opened up" to include important family
members, such as the bridal couple's parents. Children from previous
marriages can play a part, as can the entire congregation in a smaller
wedding. Candle and rose ceremonies are common choices for adapting
in this way.
Unification ceremonies can also be "stacked."
It's not unusual to find a wedding that includes a hand and water
ceremony, for example, or a wine and rose ceremony. Some couples
play music during these ceremonies and others don't.
The
timing of unification ceremonies varies by wedding, but they most
often take place directly before or after the exchange of vows.
These ceremonies may be especially important in non-religious weddings,
which may end too quickly otherwise!
Let's look at some alternatives to the Unity Candle
ceremony:
Rose Ceremony
The rose ceremony is a flexible, informal ceremony especially suited
to an interfaith or non-religious wedding, not to mention a garden
wedding! In the rose ceremony, bride and groom exchange a single
rose as their first married gift to each other. They are asked to
recall this symbol of their love during the more trying seasons
of marriage.
Hand Ceremony
In the hand ceremony, the bride takes the groom's hands in hers,
palms up. The officiant invites her to view his hands as a gift,
and says: "These are the hands that will work along side yours,
as together you build your future, as together you laugh and cry,
and together you share your innermost secrets and dreams."
The groom then takes the bride's hands, palm side
up. The officiant says, "They are the hands that will passionately
love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness,
as she promises her love and commitment to you all the days of her
life."
Knot Ceremony
In the knot ceremony, the mothers of the bridal couple are given
a cord, which the officiant later asks them to give to the bridal
couple. The couple ties a lover's knot, which they may save to look
back on later.
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Yellow Polka-Dot 3" x 9" Unity Candle and 12" Tapers
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Pink & Brown Flower Unity Candle & Tapers
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Sand, Water and Wine Ceremonies
These are all mixing ceremonies suited to a Unitarian or interfaith
wedding. The
unity sand ceremony is said to arise from Apache customs,
and is popular in beach weddings. In each case, the bride and groom
pour sand or liquid from two separate vials into one. In the wine
ceremony, they drink the mixed wine.
A nice touch is to have the bride pour white wine
while the groom pours red. You can then serve rosé at the
reception to remind everyone of the ceremony.
Another meaningful touch for an ethnic couple
is including their countries of origin. You might acquire a bottle
of wine — or sand — from both the bride and groom's countries
to mix at the ceremony.
The Salt Covenant
The salt covenant is an ancient tradition, well-described in the
Bible, and appearing regularly in Indian-national and Jewish weddings.
Like the Jewish Huppah, the salt covenant (a mixing ceremony with
ancient connotations of loyalty, protection and hospitality) is
beginning to show up in non-Jewish weddings as well.
The Foot-Washing Ceremony
The foot washing ceremony (not to be confused with the Scottish
bridal foot-washing ceremony, a wild pre-wedding event!) is a
fascinating, solemn custom emphasizing the role of dual servitude
in a marriage.
This short article hasn't covered all the unification ceremonies:
there are bread-sharing ceremonies, circling ceremonies, broom jumping
ceremonies, and probably more ceremonies that are being invented
right now.
However, if you feel a unification ceremony might
make your wedding more meaningful and personal, consider these alternatives.
Don't forget that you can use more than one!
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Silver-Plated, Heart-Shaped Unity-Candle Holder
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August 6th, 2007 at 5:17 am
My Grandparents had unity candles…….60+ years
June 8th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
What does the lighting of the unity candles mean and what is said by the officant to explain to the guest what the bride and groom are doing
April 12th, 2007 at 9:55 pm
When my daughter got married, they used their baptismal candles to light their unity candle. The parents presented and lit the baptismal candles during the ceremony which is a bit ackward when the parents are divorced. Step parents were not included in this since they were not around for very long.
March 5th, 2007 at 9:52 pm
Step by step, how do you do a salt covenant wedding?
February 22nd, 2007 at 3:29 pm
I am getting married in July 2008 and I am trying to find information on the unity oils as opposed to the candle, any help would be great!
February 21st, 2007 at 2:51 pm
Hey can you give more information on how to DO a Salt Covenant Ceremony in a Wedding? I’m getting married soon, and we’ve chosen to do this unity ceremony for love and religious reasons.
I cannot find instructions for it, or special reading that can be done with it.
PLEASE HELP!!!
January 15th, 2007 at 9:33 pm
Trish: you are 100% correct! In reality, the Unity Candle ceremony came into being sometime around the 1960s.
It took a while to become part of the “mainstream,” to the point where unity candles became available in just about every wedding catalog under the sun. That happened more recently … but as you point out, the candle’s definitely been with us a good 40 years. Thanks for the correction!
January 15th, 2007 at 9:21 pm
I was just wondering where you got the fact that the unity candle part of the ceremony has only been around for 10 years. My parents, who have been married for 28 years, had a unity candle for their wedding ceremony.
November 12th, 2006 at 10:38 pm
Foot Washing thats feral!
