10 Most-Asked Questions by Brides-to-Be
1. How can I let people know where I'm registered?
Word of mouth is really only the "proper" way to inform people where you are registered. You really must wait until they ask you or other family members. All friends and family members should be told where you are registered so they can inform others when asked.
Today, it is considered acceptable to include cards from the department store where they are registered in their shower invitation. However, this is still NEVER done in the wedding invitation.
2. How can I ask for money instead of a gift?
Actually, there is NO way of wording the asking of money for wedding gifts in lieu of something else without being tacky. The only thing you can do is tell your friends and relatives your preference. Then, when others ask, your family and friends can say that you would prefer money because you are ... (i.e. saving for a house, etc.).
Then, guests can do whatever they like. If they take the hint - GREAT - but if they don't, accept the gift with a gracious thank you!
3. How can I let people know that I don't want children at the wedding?
The only thing you can do is NOT include the children's names on the invitations. However, you'll find that some people will still bring their children.So you might want to be prepared with a "kids table" that includes crayons, coloring books, and candy. Some even hire a babysitter to look after the children at the "kids table". Some brides are now having "adult only" printed on their invitations but again, even at that, some people ignore the printing and assume "their children" are, of course, invited.
4. Who Pays for What?
A growing trend today is for wedding expenses to be shared among
the bride's family, the bride and groom and the groom's family.
5. How many invited guests should I expect will actually attend my wedding?
The general rule of thumb is if you're having over 200 guests, then you can estimate that about 25-28% of your guests will be unable to attend. If you are having less 200 guests, then the percentage usually decreases to about 15-20% or less. Other factors include how many guests you invite that live out-of-town and the travel distance required to attend the wedding. Remember, every family (and guest list is different) - so always be prepared in case EVERYONE is able to come!
6. What are the Maid of Honor's Responsibilities?
The main role of the maid of honor is to help the bride with the wedding planning. This can include shopping for dresses, addressing invitations, putting together favors and just being there when the bride needs some extra help, support or someone to talk to.
7. What is appropriate to wear for a second wedding?
No matter whether it is your first, second or third wedding the focal point is still the wedding dress. Many second-time brides choose a simpler, more elegant or sophisticated wedding dress. Many choose a floor length or cocktail length dress in white, off-white or a pretty pastel. Many "etiquette experts" advise second-time brides to not wear a veil or a long train for their second wedding. DON'T LISTEN to them! This is your day - wear what YOU want to wear! Maybe you had a very small first wedding and now you want to go all out! Wear what makes you feel beautiful!
8. How Do I Personalize my Wedding?
There are plenty of tips and ideas to make your wedding unique
and personal. But, which ideas are right for you? Only YOU can decide.
Think about what is important to you and your fiancé. Think
about special interests or hobbies that you share together. Or,
maybe there is a special place - the beach or some quaint little
Inn you went to when he proposed. Incorporate THESE elements and
these "feelings" into your wedding and it will be truly
unique and personal.
9. Should I Tip My Wedding Vendors?
Your caterer or reception site serving the food will include their gratuities with your bill. So, a tip is not necessarily expected.As for your other vendors (wedding consultant, band or DJ, limo driver, photographer), again a tip is not required. However, if you feel a vendor went "above and beyond the call of duty", then feel free to provide them with an extra tip. If you are concerned whether or not a vendor is "expecting" a tip, then discuss it with them.
10. What fee should I pay my clergy?
This can be a tough one... most clergy do not have a "fee" but instead ask for a donation. In this case, anywhere from $50 - $100 or more. A lot depends on how well you know them and whether or not counseling sessions were involved. If you are still unsure what the appropriate amount should be - then talk to the church secretary and ask for an "acceptable range" for a donation.
If someone doesnt like that I want gifts on my one and only wedding day or the fact that I dont want someonelses screaming kid at my wedding then they dont need to be there in the first place. Its not a bbq people. yes if you have the money, bring a gift! dont bring your kids or a date I have never met. Its my day, not a bar. you can hang out with all of our mutual friends and not think of yourself for a couple hours
What can the bride to be do to make the groom feel special on their wedding day
I think it is absolutely NOT ok to ask for money instead of gifts under any circumstances. First of all it is not ok to inform guests that you expect a gift of any kind wether monitary of anything else. That is why it is also in bad taste to register for the wedding itself. If you really already have “everything” then why not put
“no gifts please”!
The groom is from a very small town. His mother keeps adding people to the guest list so they won’t be offended with someone else they know is invited. I’m starting to feel like this is more of a small-town-reunion than a wedding.
How do I say, “Please stop inviting people just because they go to church with someone you care about,” without hurting feelings?
Mention the cost factor, even if that’s not really important to you — she will probably be able to understand that. You might give her an average cost per person for the reception. Unless they’ve really participated in planning a big wedding, most people don’t have a clue what those costs are.
That way, you’re not saying “I don’t want all my future mom-in-law’s home-town buddies” at YOUR wedding, what you’re saying “I would LOVE to include everyone you know at my wedding, but I just can’t afford to do that.” That takes all possibility of her taking it personally out of the equation.
The only risk you run there is her complaining that you’re spending too much, if she’s that type of person…but at least you’re not insulting her. That’s going to be VERY important in years to come.
i think in this day and age it is quite acceptable to ask for money instead of gifts as so many couples live together 1st. i shall be using one of the following ideas for my wedding and i think you should put them on your site for other couples to help them out with thier dilema!!
Invitation Script 1
Friends, as you are aware we already have most items needed to ’set up house’. This is the reason for us choosing a wedding wishing well. At the reception there will be a wishing well in which we would love to receive your greeting card and contribution. This will be a great way for us to pool together and buy ourselves something quite luxurious, or to make our honeymoon even better.
Invitation Script 2
To support us on our special day you may wish to follow with tradition and bring a gift. Or alternatively you may like to help us make our honeymoon a little more special. For this reason we have chosen a wedding wishing well. The wishing well will be at the reception where we can receive your best wishes and contribution.
Invitation Script 3
They have their dishes and towels for two
They have pots and pans and oven mitts too
So what do you get for the Bride & Groom
Whose house is setup in every room?
Their house needs repairs and some upgrades too
But you can not register for carpet and glue.
A well that holds wishes is the way to go
So lets make it easy for all that know.
An envelope will be provided for those who have room,
To give a monetary wish to the Bride and Groom
A wishing well will be on display at the reception hall
To attach your wishes, for the couple, with love from all.
Invitation Script 4
Because at first we lived in sin
We’ve got the sheets and a rubbish bin
A gift from you would be swell
But we’d prefer a donation to our Wishing Well!!
Invitation Script 5
More than just kisses so far we’ve shared,
Our home has been made with Love and Care,
Most things we need we’ve already got,
And in our home we can’t fit a lot!
A wishing well we thought would be great,
(But only if you wish to participate),
A gift of money is placed in the well,
Then make a wish …. but shhh don’t tell!
Once we’ve replaced the old with the new,
We can look back and say it was thanks to you!
And in return for your kindness, we’re sure
That one day soon you will get what you wished for.
Invitation Script 6
Soon you will hear our wedding bell,
As Friends and family wish us well.
Our household thoughts are not brand new,
We have twice the things we need for two.
Since we have our share of dishes and bedding,
We’re having instead a wishing well wedding.
But more important we ask of you,
your prayers of love and blessings too!
Invitation Script 7
This wishing well is here today for family and friends. Take an
envelope, make a wish and please drop it in. As it falls into the
well your wish, for the couple, will come true. A token for the
couple, to help them begin, will be welcomed, too. Please take the
time to make a wish before the day is through.
Invitation Script 8
Now we are to be Mr & Mrs
We don’t need a wedding list of dishes
we have two kettles, two toasters, two microwaves
We require a house for which we have to save.
If you would like to give us a gift,
A cheque or vouchers would give us a lift
We like to think of it as our ‘Wishing Well’
Which will be filled with your love, we can tell.
Invitation Script 9
Our home is quite complete now,
we’ve been together long,
so please consider our request and do not take us wrong.
A delicate request it is, we hope you understand.
Please play along as it will give our married life a hand.
The tradition of the wishing well is one that’s known by all.
Go to the well, toss in a coin and as the coin does fall,
Make a wish upon that coin and careful as you do.
Cause as the well’s tradition goes your wishes will come true.
So on this special day of ours, the day that we’ll be wed.
Don’t hunt for special gifts but give money in it’s stead.
And as you drop the envelope with money great and small,
Remember, make your wish as you watch your money fall.
Invitation Script 10
“We’ve been together a few years now;
we have pots and pans and linen and towels;
we have glasses and toasters, really quite a few;
so instead of more gifts, we suggest this to you;
if it doesn’t offend and it won’t send you running;
what we would really appreciate is quite simply money;
we know choosing gifts can be such a pain;
and this way there is no chance of bringing the same.”
What do you think?
Invitation Script 11
“If you were thinking of giving a gift, to help us on our way.
A gift of cash towards our house, would really make our day.
However, if you prefer to purchase a gift, feel free to surprise us in your own way.”
Invitation Script 12
“We really would appreciate a little money of our own,
instead of a little gift for our new home!”
We know you want to find something nice
But it’s such a hassle to find the right price
So come and enjoy the day all sunny
We really would appreciate a little money.
Invitation Script 13
To save you looking, shopping or buying.
Here is an idea, we hope you like trying.
Come to our wedding, to wish us both well.
And bring this small sack, to throw in our wishing well.
Fill it with paper all colours will do, gold is our favourite but silver will do.
Now that we have saved you, all of that fuss.
We hope you will come, and celebrate with us.
I don’t care how cute you word it…. If you dont want gifts just say that, and then have a money tree or a dollar dance. But to plain out ask for money no matter how cute you word it is just so inappropriate. I honestly would not recommend this to anyone….
Please tell me if it is appropriate to request gift certificates instead of gift s for a renewal.