Bridal Shower Etiquette — Can You Have More Than One?
For some brides, the wedding shower amounts to a real privilege. Although it’s certainly not the case for everyone, many a bride eagerly looks forward to the time when her friends and family gather to shower her with warm wishes, attention and presents in advance of the big day.
We’ll probably never know the exact story behind the bridal shower, but one that everyone likes to tell involves a poor Dutch girl who came up against the dowry system. Since the object of her affections (a poor miller) didn’t please her father, her father refused to cough up the requisite dowry, effectively scotching the marriage.
Of course, the surrounding townsfolk knew a good story when they saw it. One by one, they gathered useful household items, enough to support a new household. But even this wasn’t romantic enough, so the entire town kept the whole thing a secret until they were able to throw a giant gift-giving party for the lucky bride.
We humans love our independence, and the practice stuck. Yes, bridal showers have endured, even though times have changed substantially, with today’s bride likely to be older, more established, and quite possibly possessing everything she needs to run a household already, thank you very much. And yet, the practice of throwing a shower is still dear to the hearts of many brides, not to mention their closest friends and kin.
Still, as popular as they remain, it’s important to follow some etiquette rules. For starters, no one wants to think of the bride as being greedy, least of all the bride herself. Yet her friends can unwittingly put her in this uncomfortable position if they don’t coordinate with each other and end up throwing too many showers.
One of today’s most frequent questions concerning showers is, “can you have more than one?” Traditionally the answer was no, but the answer is changing.
Some Helpful Rules to Go By
Brides: since your bridesmaids and maid of honor are probably hosting the shower, make sure they can access your address book and guest list, so they know who to invite and how to contact them.
Also, remember that it’s your wedding party who’s footing the bill here, so the size of your shower may depend on their budget. On one end of the spectrum, you might have a very intimate little gathering involving only your closest friends and family; on the other, you might encounter almost every female guest who was invited to your wedding. It’s up to them.
Since there’s a method to the madness called the bridal shower, namely the giving and getting of household gifts, it’s imperative that you, the bride, ensure that your friends and family don’t go crazy hosting a bunch of disconnected showers. While everyone involved just wants to honor you, and your mom probably wants to make sure you never have to go without an egg slicer or a pizza stone, these parties do involve gifts, and having too many of them can make you look greedy.
Two exceptions that are gaining ground are the office shower and the out-of-town shower.
With the office shower, many of your colleagues probably aren’t invited to the actual wedding, since they’re probably more acquaintances than bosom buddies. Still, in many cases the office will want to throw you a party and be part of that day. This is an acceptable add-on to your “primary” shower.
The other exception, the out-of-town shower, is sometimes held by friends and family that can’t attend your bridal shower personally. This comes up with brides that live elsewhere but are “coming home” to marry and have many school friends and close relations in their hometown. In this case, you wouldn’t attend the bridal shower, but the hostess would gather the presents and bring them to your reception.
I am the mother of the groom, and my daughter is one of the bridesmaids. The Matron of Honor is the bride’s sister. She has approached my daughter (who lives with me) about hosting a bridal shower. Is it appropriate for my daughter (and me, as well, since we live in the same house) to host a bridal shower for my daughter-in-law to be?
Thanks!
Michelle,
Not at all! Etiquette has changed the rules a bit now anyone can host a shower!!
My daughter is getting married in a town about 2 hours south of where we live. Some of my friends at my church have offered to host a shower for my daughter (who obviously used to go to this church before she grew up and moved away). They are doing it mostly as a courtesy to me. They are talking about inviting ladies who know me and friends of my daughter from the church. The problem is, we weren’t necesarily planning to invite all these people to the wedding, nor is it likely that they could attend even if they were invited. I know the old etiquette says this is a no-non, but under the circumstances, is it OK to invite these people to the shower who will not be invited to the wedding?
Mob in Texas,
In a situation like this or even coworker bridal shower the rules are the same; these are exceptions. So enjoy the shower without any pressure!!
Thank you Stacey.. that makes me feel a lot better. Its kind of amazing to me how adamant people are about that old point of etiquette; it seems to me that times are changing, and it really depends on the circumstances.
I may still have a private talk with the two hostesses and make sure they understand that not every one we invite to the shower will be invited to the wedding, and make sure they are OK with that from the beginning. These two ladies are already aware about the wedding being out of town, and I have talked openly about how the wedding guest list is already set, and our venue is maxed out. So I don’t think they expect to be invited at all and are totally OK with it. (Although honestly, if they do go ahead with the shower, I will have to squeeze them on the guest list somehow!
I just don’t know if all the invited shower guests will be as gracious if/when they find out they are not getting wedding invitations — and I would hate to put the two hostesses in an awkward position!
MOB in Texas,
Your welcome!! Since the church ladies are hosting the shower it is perfectly exceptable. It wouldn’t have been if someone outside of the church is hosting a shower( ex: MOH) and invited the church ladies to the shower only. Etiquette can be strange I must admit.
My husband’s neice, who is in her early 20′s, is getting married in December. I am in my early 30′s and have a baby less than a year old and a 5 year old son. My husband and I work full time jobs, but still barely make ends meet. A few weeks ago my neice had a shower, and we sent her what we could afford, $50, because the items she has registered for are well beyond our price range. ($30 toasters, etc.) She has also asked for my son to be in her wedding, therefore we have to rent a tuxedo, which per tradition my husband and I will be paying for. Her father has already spent in excess of $10,000 for this wedding, but being this close to the holidays, my husband and I really have to watch our budgets.Yesterday I received an invitation to another shower 2 weeks from now from my husband’s family for my neice. My question is, are we expected to give her yet another gift, then a third at her wedding? What would be a polite and appropriate alternative to gifts?
Celeste,
No you are not obligated to buy more than one gift even when attending multiple showers. If you cannot afford to buy a wedding gift etc. then I would not pressure myself into doing so. The economy is hard right now. Having the couple over for dinner would be a super gesture. Just send them an invite to a intimate dinner with you all. Or get together with everyone( immediate family only) and have a family dinner. Make toasts to honor the couple. You coudl do this before or after the wedding.
This is my 3rd marriage but I am remarrying my 2nd husband. Although I had a bridal shower with my 1st husband, I didn’t have a shower with my 2nd husband/husband to be. His mother says I shouldn’t have a bridal shower since it is my 3rd marriage (though twice to the same man). Is this true? We have been divorced now for about 9 years and this has caused some conflict with the family because she told this to our 9 year old daughter and I just found out that she feels this way.
melissa,
* Tips
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If someone wants to throw you a shower then by all means yes! The rules of etiquette are everchanging. If there aren’t household things that you need then maybe someone could host a honeymoon shower. Wishing you all the best!
I am the bride and I live in 2 hours away from my hometown where the ceremony will be held. I have a friend in my hometown that has offered to throw me a shower for household gifts, etc. and a friend in the city I currently live in that would like to throw me a lingerie shower. Since most of my friends that are invited to the wedding live within a 2-hour radius between my hometown and my current city – there would likely be some overlap in who is invited to both showers. I know you are not supposed to invite the same people to multiple showers, but is it ok if the theme/nature of the event is different? Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Sher,
If the guests are very close to you and you do want them there and they dont mind. Then make sure if they bring a gift to one shower that only their presence is required at multiple showers but I would “try’ to keep the guests lists as different as possible
My son is getting married out of town, to his fiance who lives out of town. Is it ok for my daughter, who is in the wedding to host a bridal shower in our hometown? Thanks!
Chris,
Absolutely. It is customary for the bridal party to give the shower. Old etiquette says family members shouldnt but updated says its in!!
What is the proper etiquette regarding bridal shower gifts? Can they be used prior to the wedding? If the couple cancels the wedding, do these gifts remain with the couple or does etiquette require they be returned?
Julie,
If the weddning is cancelled they must be returned. Also, bridal gifts. Bridal gifts should never be used before the wedding.
* tips here
Hi-
What is the proper etiquette here: Some bridesmaids are out of town and unable to attend the bridal shower. Do they still chip in the same amount as the ones who are attending and in charge of planning the shower? The other problem is that it is not a trivial amount- several hundred $ that each BM is being asked to contribute.
Thanks a lot!
L
Lauren,
It could be some may have tight finances. Several hundred each is alot toward a bridal shower, even with the attire and other things they will buy. If they have not been told the amount, then that would be the first thing I did before I proceeded with the plans. They are not required to pay more than they can afford. After getting their info then you can proceed or scale back.
Usually the bm’s still pay their part so it won’t all fall on just a couple bm-to keep things fair. The thing that concerns me is: did all the bm’s sit down or talk and agree to the $$$? If not, then it would not be fair to plan a shower without the bridal party saying what they can afford( not proper etiquette)
help…my friend just got engaged. She started talking about her showers and made a comment that she hopes I and another girl will plan her “friends” shower. I am not in the wedding. I really don’t have the money to host a shower, when I am not in the wedding. I also don’t believe in having multiple showers. She has sisters, cousins, and family who are in her wedding. Aren’t they supposed to host a shower. And shouldn’t you have a family and friends shower? What should I do?
Claudia,
Although anyone can host a shower nowadays, you are right it is the bm’s who usually host one. So I would easily let myself off the hook! 
Please do not feel pressured or obligated into hosting a shower, even if it is mentioned.
HELP! I am the bride and we are on a very tight budget.
We want to have a very small intimate wedding in December with just immediate family but are trying to come up with a plan to be able to celebrate with the family/friends that would not be able to attend the wedding. All of the family that cannot make it are women and I’m told I cannot have a bridal party with women if I am not inviting them to the wedding. How do we include them to keep my great-grandmother happy since she is already upset that they won’t be at the wedding in December? We are getting so frustrated that we are about to elope and be done with it.
Onya,
In this case I would have a very simple get together or post reception. It doesnt have to be elaborate, just simple cake and champagne. It is true that guests not invited to a wedding shouldnt be invited to a shower. Onya, you and your future spouse should do what you feel is right for the both you. it will be difficult to please everyone and there will always be someone who is a little put out. If it were me, I would say we are having a very intimate celebration cause this reflects who we are as a couple and it is more important than having everyone there so a bridal shower can be included( which is optional). I want my nearest and dearest to witness the beginning of a new journey. Another idea is to have a simple cake and champagne reception immediately following. A simple dessert reception would work too. If I could get some details of where you could hold ( of your interested) a small reception. I have a website that break down food etc. within a very tight budget.
** thrifty wedding
Onya,
I also have another idea. My daughter got married in a simple bed and breakfast in December, couple years ago. It was already decorated for Christmas and all she needed was a bouquet, a couple accessories, she made her cake, they provided the toasting glasses, and for a very small fee she had a pot of gumbo, crackers, file’, sweet tea, coffee, beverages, hot cocoa. She had forgotten the Christmas parade was that night and the B&B was on Main street. She timed it just right cause the guests took their bowls of gumbo or cocoa out on the 2 story porch or some went down on the sidewalk to watch it go by. It was like the town planned it just in her honor. it really was neat.
*here is the ebay guide i wrote
I am having a Bridal shower in a few weeks and I have never been to one so I really don’t know what the bride gets. We are registered at Macys and Linens and things for the wedding- will that list be used for the guest to buy for the shower?
Kay,
yes and any wedding gifts. But some guests will choose to go it on their own. So register for things you need and you and your fh can register for some neat things too. makes it fun!
MOB here. My oldest daughter is MOH and having a shower for mostly friends and the my other daughter…the bride’s side of the family. The MOG is now having another shower at her home for my daughter and fiance and the Groom’s friends and family. I live 3 hrs. away and it’s an evening pool party shower and it will be very difficult to attend. Am I obligated to attend the Grooms side of the family Shower as well?
kathy,
It would be nice if you could attend but if you cant attend then it is okay.
7-14-10
My daughter had to get married before she was able to have a bridal shower since her fahter-inlaw to be got a new job out of state and they (my daughter and her fiance ) wanted him to attend.
Her fiance is the only child. They had a private ceremony in thier home with just the parents.
Her friend and I wanted to give her a bridal shower. Is is wrong to give her a shower since she has alreday marrried. Her wedding was July 3, and her shower is going to be July 17.
marsha,
If it was a private ceremony then I would say no. It is never a good rule of thumb to invite guests to a bridal shower and not a wedding. if you turned it into a post reception etc. then it will be fine or a coed party. If the guests/hosts dont care they didnt go to a wedding and still want to do this then it is okay too.
Is it customary for the mother of the groom to attend every bridal shower she is invited to?
Dawn,
You can go to each one but have the option of attending just one, also more than one gift is not necessary if you are attending multiple showers.
My fiance and I just brought an apartment and are getting married in city hall. Since we used our “wedding budget” for our place, is it fair to have a bridal shower even though we are not going to have a reception?
Alicia,
You can have a bridal shower for the guests only invited to the city hall wedding. Sometimes someone will choose to throw the etiquette book out the window and have one anyway, out of love and honor for the bride. Some look at it as a way to celebrate with the couple since they had a small wedding. The Bride cant throw her own shower though. Congrats on your new apartment and upcoming wedding.
If someone cannot attend the wedding, do you invite them to the bridal shower?
Ellen,
If they have been invited to the wedding then it is proper. Only those on the wedding guest list should be invited to the bridal shower.
Hey Guys,
If you have a min, I really need some advice…
As you guys know, I’m the Maid of Honor in my best friend’s upcoming second wedding. I got laid off in October, have depleted my savings account and we are now living off of a loan. Traditionally the MOH pays for the shower. I told my friend that I didn’t even know if I would be able to throw her one but decided that I should so I booked a place, with a $200 non-refundable deposit at a venue and put it on my credit card. I told her that she could have 30 people and asked for a list by April 15th. She has not responded. Instead, her sister called me today and said that she would count the number of women on the guest list because “ALL the women need to be invited to the wedding”; that we have to invite the girlfriends and wives of her male friends and females in the groom’s family that she met once at a funeral a few months ago.
I think my friend hasn’t responded because she doesn’t want to give me a “short list”. She wants more than 30 people and had her sister try to convince me to make it bigger so it would’nt look like SHE’S the bitch. We’ve been friends for 10 YEARS. I think this is greedy and insensitive based on my finances and I know that they won’t pitch in because the bridesmaids were already complaining about how much their dresses cost. I think she should be grateful for being given a shower in light of my finances when I could just use that money to pay my mortgage.
I am on the verge of telling her and her sister that I withdraw my MOH status, forfeit my deposit and let someone else pay for it. I don’t thinkour friendship is even worth saving at this point…I’m pretty much ready to just let her go, she’s upset me before but this is the last straw. Its sad but may be necessary. If you could share your thoughts I would appreciate it because I need to make a decision soon.
Taryn,
As Maid of honor and host of the bridal shower you have the final say in the final guest list ( as far as number). It is the bridal shower hosts that get to draw up the budget to work within, since it is funded by the hosts. No one can change that for the hosts but if they want it larger or more expensive they have the option to pitch in. this shouldnt fall solely on your shoulders especially in your circumstances and it is unfortunate that friendship will be ruined because of a one day wedding shower. I agree with you on this matter and I would follow my heart on what to do. I hate this is happening, I hear of alot of good relationships on the strain or even broken by wedding preparation. It shouldnt be that way, that means the focus on the true meaning of the wedding is lost. I wish I could tell you what to do but again I would follow my heart and gut. If talking to them about your budget and there is no compromise or compassion toward your dilemma then stepping down or at least stepping down from being host and letting someone else throw the shower while you help decorate etc. would be an option. Talking to the bride might help or to someone comapssionate toward your situation but remember throwing a bridal shower is a option not an obligation. The bridesmaids should help with a portion of the $$$. This would make it easier on you. I cant see where anger toward you would be fair since noone else can afford it either. I do hope everything works out and your friendship will be okay during the process.
My sister is getting married and I am the MOH. She is currently attending school in another state and two of her bridesmaids want to throw her a seperate bridal shower for all of the people that won’t be able to attend the one in our hometown (mainly other girls she goes to school with). My question is, do I still ask the bridesmaids throwing a seperate shower to chip in for this shower? And also, do the other bridesmaids (6 other, including myself) chip in for the second bridal shower? What is the etiquette here?
jen,
it is improper etiquette to have a shower for guests not invited to wedding. Usually the bm and Moh host the shower together. Unless they live out of state and can’t attend. I would ask them if they would be able to chip in for this shower, since it is given by THE bridal party. Only the names of the hosts should be mentioned on the Given By: section. I am betting this leaves you in a sticky situation but I would proceed with my planning with the other hosts.
I am the MOH and I am throwing a shower for the bride, with the help of the bridesmaids. the MOG is also throwing her a shower because the groom is from the other side of the country so most of his side cant come to ours. Now the bride is saying her family thinks they should also throw one for all their side…but I think that’s to much. We all live in the same town and we were planning to invite her family and family friends to our shower, and I know they shouldn’t all be invited to more than one. But if you take out all those people, it’ll really just be our college friends and then its really just the girls who will be at the bachelorette party. Our shower would be weird and small. Am I right in saying that they should just help us throw our shower, which is already being planned anyway?
Amelia,
Absolutely! What a great way for everyone to merge together and throw a really nice shower! I would talk to them and see what they would like to do and divide the tasks. Happy Planning!
I am a bride getting married in June. My MOH and bridesmaids offered to host a shower for me first and now my future sister-in-law is offering to host another one as well for their side of the family. My future mother-in-law is insisting that I invite all of the women in my extended (out-of-town) family to the bridal shower my sister-in-law is throwing so that they “feel included”, however they are all being invited to the shower my bridesmaids are throwing already. I don’t feel comfortable sending two invites to my family. I don’t want them to feel obligated to give me multiple gifts or drive into town multiple times. I have told my future mother-in-law this, however she persists saying that out of courtesy, I should invite everyone to both. I can not disagree more. I just need verification that I am right so that I can tell her NO!
Sarah,
You are very right. You are not suppose to invite the same guests to multiple showers it can put major pressure on them.
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During my 13 month engagement my MOH met someone, just got engaged, and set her date for April 24, only 4 weeks after my wedding (without telling me until it was a done deal). And while I’m happy that she found “the one” and want to be there for her, this was completely unexpected and is now making things very hard. She no longer wants to help me with my wedding and every conversation we have is now about her/her wedding…she is also having multiple showers (which overalap my wedding) in which she expects me to bring gifts to. Being that our wedding is 4 weeks before, we don’t have the money or time for all of these gifts/events because we have a really tight budget for our wedding (which we are paying for) and won’t have enough time to recoup the funds. I’ve tried to express this in a very nice way but am still being put on a guilt trip by her and her family. What is the best way to ease this situation? Am I still obligated to attend all of her showers and bring gifts?
Amy,
No your not. Showers are completely optional. But it would be nice to be there for her since she stood by you on your special day.. A nice set of towels and washcloths. A kitchen gadget you know she has been eyeing lately.Doesn’t have to be expensive to be a gift. Or just take her out to a very simple lunch or go for coffee. I understand how difficult it can be with runover weddings, especially with your MOH, excitement is everywhere and evey bride gets really excited for their wedding.How wonderful you both found your lifemates! I would talk with her and tell her you can’t do much but see if there is any thing you can do to help, sometimes giving a helping hand is more than a gift, it is the best gift of all.
No matter how many showers you go to, you only need bring ONE gift, or several small ones. You should be concentrating on your wedding, allow her to concentrate on hers. I would just keep any new ideas about your wedding to yourself, or you’ll see them at HER wedding. Also, if I were you, I would talk to your DJ . . . and make sure that you have to approve all the songs played, something tells me she might take over your reception and try to turn it into a dress rehearsal for hers.
I am having multiple showers. Am I supposed to invite all my bridesmaids to every shower? I don’t want them to feel obligated to bring something, but I don’t want them getting their feelings hurt if not invited.
Amanda,
The bridal party and the mothers are usually invited to all showers but is not required to bring a gift. If they have already given a gift then that is sufficient.
* tips
How many showers are too many showers? I am scheduled to have 3+ showers with some overlapping guests. What is the etiquette on how many is too many?
Lindsey,
More than one shower is the rage now. It is never polite to invite same guests to more than one shower.
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I am the maid of honor in my sister’s wedding and am hosting a wedding shower for her this month in the city she lives in. I am also attending an out of state bachelorette party next month. Some friends of hers that I do not know are throwing her 2 showers next month. I live in another city, and all of the travel can be a bit much. Should I be attending all of the showers? I am not sure that I can afford it.
Emily,
No, you are not required to attend multiple showers. I would talk to my sister and tell her youlove her very much and would enjoy being there but due to finances you wont be able to attend the other 2 showers. I am sure she will be fine with it.
* bridal shower basics
etiquette….
“And though there may be multiple parties thrown for the happy couple, Post says, the maid of honor is not required to go.”
My daughter-in-law (MOH) is planning a shower for my daughter. She is the very usy mother of three young children and the other two bridesmaids are out-of-town/state. I have offered to help by writing out the invitations for her (my handwriting is a bit distinctive, so will be readily recognized). Is this “etiquettely” incorrrect as I am the MOB?
eloise,
not at all. in the situation all help would be a true gift! have fun!
My son’s future bride lives out of town. She is having a shower in her hometown, but due to distance our family will not be able to attend. I am going to throw her a small shower in my town for our side of the family. Most of our family has not had the opportunity to meet her, I thought this would be a great opportunity for them to get to know her. My question is regarding the invitation – do I need to word it differently since the people invited have not yet met her?
Rosemary B.,
Hosted by: ( Hosts names) should be fine. They will recognize you so that will do.
Unless you wanted to put You are invited to the bridal shower honoring Brides name and Bride elect of ( then list sons name).
Our son is getting married 5 hours away. Most of our family and friends will not be able to attend. Is it appropriate to have a local bridal luncheon? Also, do we invite everyone to the wedding that is invited to the luncheon even if we know they will not attend the wedding?
Betty,
Oh absolutely! what a great way to still celebrate in the joy of the upcoming wedding! Yes, anyone at the bridal luncheon should also be issued a wedding invitation even if they cannot attend; proper wedding etiquette.
Yes, invite everyone you WANT to come to the wedding. You might be surprised at who shows up!
My fiance and I are getting married in his home town, but my family and hometown are 2 hours away from there. However, it is mostly my family that would be involved in the planning of the bridal shower so how do I pick where to have the shower? Either way, I feel that people are not going to drive 2 hours to be at my shower and dont want to upset anyone. One part of me feels that where the wedding is, is the town in which we should have the shower but the other thinks that I am already asking my family to drive the 2 hours over to the wedding so his family can drive the 2 hours over to the shower….Please help!! Thanks!!
kaylee,
plus if the hosts live in your hometown, planning locally will definitely be easier for them.
i would have the shower in your hometown. if some of his family who cant make it they will either send their gift with someone going to your shower or just bring the gift to the wedding. the maid of honor and bm’s or host will be planning the venue. so this eases up the worry from you having to pick one!
Have the shower in your hometown if the hostess live in your area. See if your future mother-in-law, sister-in-law, or your Mom will spring for a small luncheon in the city of your wedding. Have the luncheon at someones home or a small restaurant, make it fancy or a barbeque . . . just a small lunch to allow those who can’t drive 2 hours a chance to meet you, and visit with you. Bring a photo album of you and your financee to the small shower. Get a couple of your bridesmaids to make the trip with you.
A friend of mine was getting married in June . . . she was having the wedding and shower in her hometown, and her finance’s family lived 300 miles away. Her mother-in-law was disappointed that her family couldn’t make it to the shower. I found out that the finance’s family had a large Memorial Day picnic every year, so I suggested that we send notes to the family and mention that the bride and groom would be at the shower, we would have a special cake and that if anyone in the family wanted to, (and they couldn’t go to the “big” shower”) . . . they could bring a gift to the picnic. Of course, we okayed this with his Mom, AND we sent invitations to the other shower, too . . . and basically gave them a choice.
Several family members bought gifts, we played a game (we dressed his dad and uncles as toilet paper brides!), we handed out favors (his family makes homemade beer as a hobby, so we put little ribbons on small bags of beer nuts), and we took lots of photos. Basically, it gives those who don’t know you a chance to meet you and talk about the wedding.
My daughter is getting married in May. Friends are giving her a Bridal Shower in late March, her big shower. A friend from college wants to give her a Christmas shower, to get Christmas stuff, in early December. Here’s the problem. They are about the graduate college together. I said to invite friends from college and possibly close friends to the Christmas shower and then not invite those same people to the big one, leave it for family, co-workers and family friends. This was meant to be considerate and not be greedy. This college friend has pitched a fit and says you should invite everyone to every shower. ??? This just sounds rude to me. What do you say?
Dana,
It is in good manners not to invite the same guests to every shower. The reason is guests will feel the need to buy more than one gift and it will be hard for some. So you are right about dividing the guest list. It is proper etiquette!!
That brings up another question. As the MOG, I have been invited to several showers. Should I plan on taking a gift to all of these showers??
Mildred,
No. You should just bring one gift.
So, without consulting me, my future mother-in-law sent out invitations for my bridal shower to all the women on the groom’s side of the family. I just found out the date and time of the event from my fiance. My mom works and can’t even make it until 6 hours after it starts. ALSO, she is saying that one of my aunts is supposed to throw one for the women on my side of the family… I haven’t told my mom yet, but she is going to be really upset. I really don’t think that my family is expecting to have to do this as well. What am I supposed to do?!?
tara,
having multiple showers is fine. it is very common for both sides of the family to throw a shower. i would proceed as planned for the grooms side. since a host sets the date and time according to the party they choose to plan. if your mom can make it to the grooms shower it would be nice but if she cant then she will have fun at your side of the familys shower. just be sure that the grooms mom and grandmother is on your guest list. your bm and moh should be planning your shower. (with showers being a optional party). everyone else has already celebrated on his side and usually you dont invite the same guests to 2 showers( except for the mom and grandmother;nice thing to do) have fun and btw congrats!!