Bookmark and Share

The Basics of Bridal Shower Etiquette

While showers have evolved into something more relaxed in recent years, you should still know the basics of bridal shower etiquette to avoid a chance of offending anyone.

Since there will probably be disparate groups at the shower — friends, family and co-workers, usually — it's important to understand how everyone should interact. Especially in the case of family: mothers and grandmothers can place great weight on proper bridal shower etiquette, so make sure you know "the rules"!

Bridal Shower Bridal Gifts Favor Boxes - 2x2x2 - pack of 25
Bridal Shower Umbrella Favor Boxes - 2x2x2 - pack of 25
Bridal Shower Games Bundle
Bridal Shower Bingo (Set Of 21 Cards)
Bridal Shower Fashion Linen Towels - Set of 12 - About $6.00 each
Dress Hanger Note Book Bridal Shower Favors (Set of 12)
Hanger Notepad Wedding Shower Favors (Set of 12)
"Lavender" Bridal Shower Personalized Mint Tins
See All Bridal Shower Favors

The Maid of Honor's usually the person who plans and organizes the bridal shower. If she lives out of town, however, it's fine for someone else to do the honors.

Don't take over without checking with her, though. It's her privilege, and you should always ask her before assuming anything. If you're going to do it for her, make sure you keep her comfortably involved through frequent emails and phone calls.

Bridal shower etiquette traditionally says that a shower should take place at least four to six weeks before the wedding. This is just for practical reasons — the bride's going to be too busy any closer to the ceremony — but if she's coming home only two weeks before the wedding, talk to her and see how she feels about having a shower in her honor so close to the wedding. Chances are, she'll think that's fine if most of her friends can manage to come.

There's been an uncomfortable trend in recent years for large showers, where nearly everyone the bride knows gets an invite. This isn't quite what the bridal shower is supposed to be, though. At least by tradition, a bridal shower's meant to be a small, intimate gathering of the bride's closest friends and family. Proper etiquette dictates a group of no more than ten to twenty guests.

Who the guest list should include: the wedding party, the mothers of the bride and groom, sisters of the bride and groom, and the bride's closest friends and/or coworkers. Contrary to some recent practices, it probably shouldn't include every woman invited to the wedding.

Finally, bridal shower etiquette means making a special point of including the wedding party members ... and the mothers. Ask each of these people to take on some particular responsibility, whether it's recording a list of the givers as the gifts are opened, or running the party games. This will help everyone feel like a key part of this special day.

Chartreuse Midori Organdy Ribbon
Blooming Bridal Shower Personalized Mint Tins
Bridal Shower Conversation Cards
Dots Bridal Shower Personalized Mint Tins
Bridal Shower Guest Book
Heart Shape Soap Bridal Shower Favors - 36 pcs
Table Topics Bridal Shower Game
Personalized Par-Tea Baga Bridal Shower Favor Bags
See All Bridal Shower Favors

Melanie Doetsch is an author at eBridalShowers.com where you will find further bridal shower ideas. Be sure to check out our new wedding planning guide and much more at http://www.ebridalshowers.com.
Bookmark and Share

640 Comments in 420 Threads.  Add a New Comment »

Customize your Icon | Make a Mood Board

Pages: « 2111 10 9 8 7 [6] 5 4 3 2 1 » Show All

Susan Ballas
wrote
on January 28th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
Subscribed to comments via email

Is it appropriate to list the Hostesses as Bridemaids and the names of the mother and mother-in-law or should all the bridesmaids names be listed?
Is it appropriate to ask for gift reciepts from gifts purchased at Target?

 
mickie
wrote
on January 28th, 2008 at 6:45 pm

I am the mother of the groom, the wedding shower is being held 3 1/2 hours away from my home, what is the proper attire? The shower is from 1:30 to 3:00 would it be rude if I had to leave at 2:30 to get home before it gets dark, as I can’t see after darK?

 
Josie
wrote
on January 27th, 2008 at 11:11 pm

My future daughter-in-law has decided not to register for her bridal shower and is planning on asking for a “donation” toward her honeymoon in Italy. Is this a proper thing to do? I don’t feel that it is, and if it is not, how do I tell her?

 
maria
wrote
on January 23rd, 2008 at 11:20 am
Subscribed to comments via email

my friend is planning a bridal shower for her daughter……she is wondering how, if any, proper way to ask for a gift card in lieu of an actual gift ??

 
Michelle
wrote
on January 22nd, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Subscribed to comments via email

Help! My best friend is getting married at a small intimate service (no bridal party or reception). She wants me to throw her a huge shower though….she said “how else will i get gifts if I’m not having a reception?” Isn’t it really terrible ettiquette to invite people to a shower,expecting gifts, and not inviting them to the wedding?

what should i do?

 
Jennifer
wrote
on January 18th, 2008 at 1:52 pm

I am the bride and I need HELP! What is an appropriate gift to give to my brides maid for the throwing me the shower?

 
sheri
wrote
on January 17th, 2008 at 2:52 pm

Should the Mother of the Bride bring gifts to the Bridal Shower?

 
Cheryl
wrote
on January 17th, 2008 at 11:08 am
Subscribed to comments via email

I am making the invitations for my future daughter-in-law’s shower, my question is, I have included a card in the invitation with special notes for the shower, ie.. to include a gift reciept for target, because of doubles, that they won’t except returns without a reciept over $20, is this ok? And the engaged couple has set up a special account for their honeymoon expenses, would it be a real fou-pah if I included a note, (”Any monetary gifts given to the Newlyweds will be put into an account for their Honeymoon!) I think it may be and I don’t want it to look as if we are asking for money… argh!

Thank you,

Cheryl

 
Jessica
wrote
on January 16th, 2008 at 7:14 pm

I am getting married in June 08, and then moving to South Africa in August. It is very expensive to ship things abroad so we have not set up a registry. However, we aren’t sure what to do about people who would like to buy us gifts. Etiquette dictates we should not request money, but it there anyway to clue in our guests without being rude?

Please help!

 
Jackie Short
wrote
on January 16th, 2008 at 6:49 pm

How soon is too soon to have a bridal shower before the wedding date when two showers are being planned?

 
Samantha
wrote
on January 16th, 2008 at 2:21 pm

I am hosting a lingerie bridal shower, I am the MOH. The other bridesmaid, is taking care of arrangements for the bachelorette party- not financial arrangements, but the plans.

Is it bad etiquette to ask the other bridesmaid to help fund the bridal shower? She has given me some suggestions as to plans- which I’ve taken, but I don’t know if I should ask her to help money wise.

Also, if she is unable to help money wise, should I still put her as a “host” for the bridal shower since she’s helped with the plans?

 
Sam
wrote
on January 16th, 2008 at 1:02 am

I’m hosting a bridal shower for my sister. She lives in Oregon, I live in California and we’re having the shower in NY, where we’re from. My sister will be unable to bring gifts back to Oregon on the plane. I’m wondering if it is proper etiquette to include something on the invitation requesting that guests send their gifts from the registry directly to her in Portland? If so can you suggest a polite wording for the request?

 
Cindy
wrote
on January 11th, 2008 at 3:05 pm

My niece is getting married and sent an email out to coordinate her wedding showers. I was taken back and thought it was a little bold. she indicated that the maid of honor would give one shower, another bridesmaid giving a couples shower, the sister of the groom a family shower for his side of the family and she indicated one from someone on my side of the family. She gave the dates that he would like each shower to take place. I have already given the engagement party this past summer and I don’t feel that I should have to give a shower, nor really anyone else on my side of the family. Could the shower being given for the grooms side of the family include the brides family? and isn’t 4 showers with a bacclorette party and having had an engagement party alot? Your thoughts!

 
barb
wrote
on January 8th, 2008 at 6:41 pm

hi, i’m the maid of honor and am throwing a large couples shower (30 invitations were mailed). am i expected to bring them a gift to the shower too? want to do the right thing! thanks for the guidance!

 
Kelly
wrote
on January 6th, 2008 at 8:26 pm

Help please! I am hosting a wedding shower for my sister in law and her future husband later this year. Since my sister in law is hoping for a guy/ girl shower with dancing - I thought of a great idea to have it at a local bar/grille that offers a private outdoor/indoor patio with bar and stage. This would be during the day and the bar will have finger sandwiches, salad, chips/dip and light desserts with coffe/tea. Since I was planning on a day shower with a beach theme I really thought this would be a great idea.
However when I mentioned this to the other girls in the party they offered their ideas. Which is great I want all of them to be involved but I really do not want to have to cook and clean up after 160 people eat, drink and dance - and I think this is what they are planning on doing.
In the end It will end up costing $340 each.
The bride has already paid for each of our dresses so we are already saving $200-were as in other weddings we would have had to pay this.
As the maid of honor I am willing to pay the $340 plus the cost of the DJ and favors/decorations.
I have arranged to meet with the five remaining bridesmaids and my mother in law for input and hopefully some support.
Beofre I propose this to them again - I am just looking for some feed back on whther this is too much to ask from the other girls? :(

 
Victoria
wrote
on January 6th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
Subscribed to comments via email

Need Help:
I am the mother of the groom. My son and I live in NJ. My son’s fiance lives in CA. The wedding is being held in AZ where the brides parents live. 2 of the bridesmaids live in Philadelphia. Ok so my question is:
Should I have a shower in NJ? SHould I ask the 2 bridesmaids in Phil. to help out? There is a shower in AZ in Feb. I’m not sure who is giving that one. I don’t know the right thing to do here.
Thank you very much

 
Stacy
wrote
on January 4th, 2008 at 9:40 pm

I live in Colorado and in May I’m getting married in Kentucky. My mom who lives in Virginia is hosting a bridal shower for me. Since we live so far away, it would be best to recieve money or gift cards instead of actual gifts. Is there any wording that is proper to use to say this in a shower invite? She was thinking of something like “in lieu of gifts, a basket for cards will be available”. Does anyone have any other suggestions???

 
Shea Wilson
wrote
on December 23rd, 2007 at 4:48 pm
Subscribed to comments via email

Should the Mother of the Groom be invited to the lingerie shower?

 
Leslie
wrote
on December 20th, 2007 at 10:30 am

Is it traditional for the bridesmaids to contribute (financially) to the showers?

 
Lisa
wrote
on December 19th, 2007 at 3:34 pm

Is it a bad idea to have a fee shower?

 
Name (required)
E-mail (required, kept private!)
Web URL (optional!)


:D ;) :P :cry: :lol: :? :love2: :thinking: :idea: :mrgreen: more »

Photo Help

Add Photos (maximum of 3, GIF or JPG):

Shop for Favors by Color

What You Said

Related Posts

Popular Articles

New Blog Posts

Popular Today

New...

Shop Now For

Themes & Favor Ideas

Learn About

Bridal Freebies

FavorIdeas @Twitter


twitter / FavorIdeas

Shop for Black & White Favors Shop for Brown Favors Shop for Purple Favors Shop for Red Favors Shop for Pink Favors Shop for Orange Favors Shop for Green Favors Shop for Aqua Favors Shop for Silver Favors Shop for Gold Favors Shop for Ivory Favors