Can My Friend Fire Her Maid of Honor?

My best friend chose her cousin as her maid of honor for her September 2006 wedding. Her cousin accepted, but then something came up that might prevent her from attending the wedding — never mind be the maid of honor. The cousin hasn’t told my friend what she’s going to do. Hello … the wedding’s only 5 months away! The bride’s tried to contact her to no avail, and now it’s crunch time!

Is it proper for the bride to ask her maid of honor to “step down” in a situation like this?

Also, since she’s having trouble choosing an alternate maid of honor among us, does she even need to have one? We’d all help her in any way we can.

Please help — this is almost ruining her wedding!
– Cindy


Dear Cindy:

I think the diplomatic approach would be appropriate in this situation. This is your best friend’s wedding, and who and what she chooses to do with it shouldn’t be at the mercy of others.

To relieve any possible anxiety, I would recommend that you speak with the other bridesmaids about approaching your friend with the idea of drawing straws or pulling a name out of the hat as a possible replacement, should her cousin fall through.

This will give your friend the message that you guys have her back and support her either way –and none of you will feel slighted for not being chosen.

I always say, your wedding is like Burger King– You should have it your way.

The Expert

Debbie Wallace is an entrepreneur and founder of Elegant Affairs By Dee, LLC where she works as an independent wedding/event planner and decorator to a select group of clients. Debbie planned over 50 events in the early 1990’s before receiving her formal certification with Weddings Beautiful, the National Bridal Service Association; NYU’s Event Management Certificate Program, and this summer, a bachelors in Business Admin with a concentration in Event Management from SUNY-Empire State College.

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One Comment

  1. Carmen Says:

    my daughter is getting married in October, and she wants to incorporate her newborn son (due Sept 2) into the wedding in a very special way. Please help!

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