The 411 of Proper Wedding Dance Etiquette

Although the ‘old’ days had a very basic structure to the wedding schedule of events, times have changed … and those rules don’t always apply anymore.

So, when it comes to who dances with whom at the reception, these days you can pick and choose.



Lining up the Dance Partners

It goes without saying that the bride and the groom dance first. This creates a beautiful photo opp for everyone who brought a camera. The next dance can include the wedding party and their respective partners, along with the new couple.

The parent dances come next. The bride dances with her father, and the groom dances with his mother. Then the bride dances with her new father-in-law, and the groom dances with his new mother-in-law. In the case of extended families, it’s thoughtful to switch it up so that each half of the couple dances with all the stepparents, too.

If the bride or groom has a deceased parent, another relative can step in. Someone should announce to everyone why this is happening. This is a great way to honor those who’ve passed while still celebrating the moment.

After these traditional dances, you’ll find more opportunities to plan dances with other special people in everyone’s life. But keep in mind: it can be boring for guests to sit at the tables and watch dance after dance. It’s sometimes more fun if you invite everyone on the dance floor after the crucial dances finish up.

More Popular Dances

A lot of deejays enjoy drumming up interest in participatory dances. These often start by inviting on each married couple, then slowly working backwards until only the longest-married couple is left on the dance floor.

Also popular are dollar dances, where the bride and groom dance with others “in exchange for” gifts of money.

Although the slow and sentimental dances are wonderful, the younger set (usually the wedding party) usually groove to more upbeat tunes. It’s increasingly popular for the bride and the groom to honor each member of the wedding party by playing a special song just for them — something nostalgic, a “theme song,” or just something fun for everyone to dance to.

Dancing at a wedding is a time that you shouldn’t be worrying about what you look like; it’s just the time to let loose after all the formality and have a lot of fun.

Amy Spade is an expert on planning weddings, and she has written an amazing totally free minicourse on how to make sure that you have the day of your dreams, and avoid wedding day disaster!

11 Responses to The 411 of Proper Wedding Dance Etiquette  Add a New Comment »

  1. Lyric

    I have a very important ??? to ask
    Im new at being a bride and noone in my family has been married before so i was wondering what do you do in the time for the dollar dance??? Like do you just stand there in the middle of the floor and wait for someone to put a dollar on you and then start dancing with you, and what if noone comes and dances then what??? :?

  2. Jerusha

    Do I have to wear my wedding veil during the waltz?
    I won’t feel comfortable with it but my in-laws are being a bit pushy with it.

    • Dawn P.

      Jerusha, this is totally up to you. A lot of brides remove the veil right at the start of the reception. Other brides keep it on until the formal pics are done (e.g., after the photog gets the cake cutting and first dance pics). But the veil can be hard to deal with when you’re dancing, and for some brides it just feels odd after the ceremony’s over.

      Either way this is a very personal decision that is totally up to you! If you love the veil and want it in the formal pics, keep it on … if it feels strange to wear it that long, don’t! YOUR choice! :peaceout:

  3. Tracie

    When the brides parents dont approve of the marriage, who should walk the bride down the aisle?

    • Dawn P.

      Tracie, is there someone in your family who will support you? Consider a brother, that would be very meaningful if you have one who’s glad to walk you down. Also, grandparents can be a good choice. Or perhaps you have stepparents who’ve played an important role in your life. Failing that, you could walk down together with your fiancé (kind of a poetry in that) — or have your children walk you down if you have any!

  4. barbara spence

    does the grandmother of the groom stand in the recieving line and if so where

    • Dawn P.

      Typically grandparents do not stand in the receiving line, it’s more traditional to include the couple, the couple’s parents, the MOH and the bridesmaids. If you were to include his grandmother I’d say the place would be after the mother and father of the groom, e.g.,

      MOTB
      Father of the Bride
      MOTG
      Father of the Groom
      Grandmother of the Groom
      Bride
      Groom
      MOH
      Bridesmaids

  5. Denise

    I am the bride and my parents come from a religion that does not allow dancing. For the wedding I will not be able to dance with my father but the groom insists on dancing with his mother..will this not cause attention to me on that day?

  6. Petra O'Mara

    You left out the fact that the bride NEVER dances in her veil (nor does she eat, drink or smoke while wearing a veil) After the ceremony and pictures, the veil is removed for the reception, which is the main reason for avoiding this tacky new practice of intermingling the veil with the coiffure. The veil is a ceremonial symbol, not part of the hair-do.


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