How to Word Those Wedding Invitations — Even When Life Throws Curveballs
- Divorced or Deceased Parents
- The Divorced Parents, Remarried
- The Divorced Parents, Not Remarried
- The Deceased Parent
- Who's the Host?
- The Traditional "Host"
- The Inclusive "Hosts"
- The Grooms' Parents as Hosts
- The Couple as Hosts
- A Few More Sticky Widgets
- "Kids not allowed."
- Registry Cards
- Be Thoughtful, But Flexible
- Comments (314)
Old-fashioned etiquette and oh-so-modern dilemmas: these two combined can perplex even the savviest bride when it comes time to word your wedding invitations.
Couples often struggle with the demands of formal language when one or both sets of parents are divorced. Not to worry, though — we'll cover some common situations, including this one. It's easier than it seems at first blush to get the wording right.
Divorced or Deceased Parents
The Divorced Parents, Remarried
Here's how you word it when the bride's divorced parents are co-hosting the wedding:and Mr. Adrian Penn
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter ...
The Divorced Parents, Not Remarried
Here's another example, for parents of the bride who divorced but haven't remarried:and Ms. Holly Voss
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter ...
When the groom's parents are divorced, just use the same approach. For example:
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Selinde Anne Bender
to
Eric Allen Frazier
son of Mr. Travis Frazier
and Mr. and Mrs. Glenn Rikowski
The Deceased Parent
Another tough spot some couples encounter is the parent who's deceased. In many cases, you'll simply want to refer to the living parent as as the host. For example:requests the honor of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter ...
Sometimes, though, the bride or groom wants to include the deceased parent's name on the invitation, and that's perfectly all right. Simply insert "the late" before the name of the deceased parent. The only caveat: avoid making it sound like the deceased parent is hosting. Here's an example:
daughter of Mr. Joshua Abbott and the late Mrs. Abbott
and Christian Amin Salemi
son of Mr. and Mrs. Midi Salemi
request the honor of your presence ...
Every family is different, so feel free to adapt these approaches to your own particular situation. The most important thing about invitation wording, other than it passing the basic "appropriate" test, is that you feel comfortable with it — and no one's feelings get hurt.
Who's the Host?
There's plenty of ways to word your invitations depending on who's hosting — but what exactly does hosting mean?The answer's changed over time. In days gone by, when the bride's parents typically paid for the wedding, the honored hosts were often those who footed the bill. These days, who you deem a host depends more on your personal preference than who's literally burning up their credit cards on your behalf.
The Traditional "Host"
- the couple pays for the wedding themselves, but lists the bride's parents as hosts, because it's traditional.The Inclusive "Hosts"
- the couple pays for the wedding themselves, but lists both sets of parents as hosts, because it's gracious.The Grooms' Parents as Hosts
Occasionally, the couple will list the groom's parents by themselves as hosts, sometimes because the bride's parents are no longer living. In that case, simply word your invitation like so:request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of
Miss Amanda Jackson
to their son
Jason Michael Becker
The Couple as Hosts
And it's not at all uncommon for the couple to present themselves as hosts of their own wedding, like so:is requested
at the marriage of
Ms. Mikal Farina
and
Mr. Jeffrey Evans
We have lived together for 25 years and now want to have a casual wedding and take our vows officially…how can I word the invitation…
Karin, I would keep it simple…
BRIDE
and
GROOM invite you to share and celebrate at their wedding
on DATE at TIME
LOCATION
ADDRESS
CITY, STATE
More ideas here…
My brother is getting married for the first time to a young lady who has been married before and has an adorable little boy from her first marriage. (I’m designing their invitations.) They want to include him somehow in the wording. The boy’s father is very involved in the little boy’s life so it seems weird to me to say “along with their son” because my brother will be his step-father… But they really like the thought that the little boy is a key player. How do you include a little boy in a union that wasn’t a result of this relationship? Who’s hosting I think is less of an issue. I was leaning toward the wording that goes “Together with their families” because it’s not the traditional hosting situation. Her family, his family and the couple themselves are all excited to contribute. But they are now wanting to highlight the little boy in the wording. I could use some help please and thank you in advance.
Annie,
My family, your family – blending as one
Sharing, caring – a new life’s begun
BRIDE
and
GROOM
along with her son( his name here)
invite you to join in the celebration of their marriage
on
YEAR
at TIME
LOCATION
ADDRESS
CITY, STATE
or
BRIDE
and
GROOM
together with her son( list name) and their families
are happy to announce
their marriage
on DAY
YEAR
CITY, STATE
Please join them
for a celebration
on DAY
YEAR
TIME
LOCATION
CITY, STATE
or
BRIDE
and
GROOM
together with her son( list name)
invite you to share with them and
a celebration of love and uniting of families
Their marriage ceremony will take place
on DAY
YEAR
at TIME
LOCATION
ADDRESS
CITY, STATE
Love it! I think maybe the first part of #1 and the last part of #3. So cute. Thanks a million.
I can’t find anywhere how to word an invite stating that we do not want gifts. We are trying to downsize after having meshed two households into one. I don’t want to offend anyone either gift cards or money toward the honeymoon would be fine as we are covering all the costs ourselves. :). Any suggestions? Thanks
Kris,
have an insert that states ” In lieu of tradtional gifts, the couple has chosen a gift card and honeymoon registry at the following locations:
Also spread this by word of mouth and wedding website. Below is an example, I didn’t know if it was bridal shower wording or wedding wording. if wedding wording have an insert, it is never proper to list the registry directly on the wedding invite.
Your presence is the greatest gift of all. However, should you wish to honor the bride or couple with a gift, in lieu of traditional gifts the bride or couple has chosen a honeymoon registry at Traveler’s Joy (Or list personal honeymoon link) where you can make a contribution to help the couple make a honeymoon memory that will last a lifetime. The bride or the couple has also registered and welcomes gift cards from the following stores….
Some guests are still traditional and will choose to bring a traditional gift. Also here is a link if you wish to add a wishing well…
and here…
You could also have a insert that reads “Your presence and warm wishes are the only gifts we desire”, “The only gift the happy couple requests is the gift of your presence!”
More here
Hi, Im getting married later this year, and due to me and my fiancee paying will have decided not to do a buffet for the evening guests, but will put out just some nibbles crisps & peanuts etc. i really want a poem to put in the invitations for the evening but cannot find one any where, any ideas?
Sacha,
Invitation Consultants website has sample wording and poems….
I did a google search on wedding invitation poems. I also looked under wedding invitation verses. There were loads of links,maybe this will help.
I have a very unusual situation that I have not found on any website. My step-daughter wants me to give her away since both her parents are divorced. We did not raise her and did not have contact with her until she was an adult. She is 45 and is hinting that I should pay for her wedding as well. She has become quite close to me since reconnecting with her father and considers me her “mother” since she had such a rocky relationship with her real mother. I am not sure what is appropriate in this case. Should I contribute to the wedding? Should I walk her down the aisle? How do we word the invitation? She wants me and her dad but not her mom on the invitation.
Linda,
It is okay to walk her down the aisle, if that is what she wishes. As bride that is a sentimental choice for the one to walk her down the aisle, as well as, who will be her bridal party/MOH. It is solely your decision if you choose to pay for the wedding. The bride shouldn’t request someone to do so, this is considered improper. Since she is 45, I would think her and her future spouse would be paying for or most of the wedding. Since they are more settled at that age. This statement may not apply in this case but I urge anyone not to take on wedding expenses if they cannot fit it into their budget. You can always “help” to pay if you wish. If she wants just the two of you then it would be like:
Mr. and Mrs. Parents
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of
Bride
and
Groom
etc.
Now if the couple contributes it will be different…
Option: Together with their families
Bride
and
Groom
request the honor of your presence…etc.
Option 2: Bride and Groom
along with Mr. and Mrs. Parents names
request the honor of your presence. (or vice versa)
Oops! I just noticed that I made a typo when writing the above comment. My step-daughter’s parents are both deceased; they were also divorced.
Linda,
It is fine to host, actually it would be very nice to host or help host if you wish. In this case you would just have your name like following:
Mrs. first/maiden/married or last name you go by.
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of ( her daughter, since you are close I assume you consider her your daughter- so it is okay to list that)
brides name
daughter of late Mr. dads name
and
groom
son of Mr. and Mrs. grooms parents etc.
If she wishes to keep it uncomplicated she can choose to not list any parents names just the host and the bride and groom. To make it even simpler, she can choose to do like this:
The Honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of
Bride
and
Groom
etc.
This may be the best way especially if other wording may cause chaos. For other examples look below at Lauren’s post.
My mom recently passed away and my dad is also deceased, but I have a step-dad that is very close and will be considered the host, how do I list my wedding invitations without offending my real dad’s side of the family.
Lauren,
I am sorry to hear about your loss.
I would actually have it this way.
Stepfathers name( Mr. Allan Smith)
request the honor of your presence at the marriage of his stepdaughter or daughter ( whichever he considers you. Or you can choose to omit the relation. Either way will work.)
Brides name
daughter of the late Mrs. Jane Doe Smith and Mr. John Doe
to
Grooms name
son of Mr and Mrs. Grooms parents
Hi, I need major help! I am the bride and I am paying for 2/3′s of my wedding. My dad who is remarried is paying for the other 1/3. How do I word the invitations? I think since I am paying more I should be the host (or me and my fiance) but my dad is being very graciouse to help and I want him honored too. My fiance’s parents are not helping at all and my divorced unmarried mother isn’t paying a penny and may not even come, so I don’t think they should be honored on the invitation. What should I do, How should I word it?
Jen,
Brides full name
and
Grooms full name
together with Mr. and Mrs. John Doe
request the honor of your presence at….
( this is the way I would do it to keep anyone from feeling hurt,) or you could do it Together with their families
Bride and Groom request the honor of your presence….
I hope this helps!!
Stacey, My fiance and I have lived together for 9 years, have a 7 year old daughter and we are paying for the wedding/everything. I too want to include our daughter in our invitations, but since fiance and I have been together so long how can we word our invitations in a unique way? Ive been all over the net and usually see the same wording for couples hosting. It just sounds boring, but I’m not comfortable writing my own invitation wording. Any ideas? LOL Any help is appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read my request.
Sara, here is an example which is very nice….
The honour of your presence is requested
at the marriage of
Tiffany Grace Watkinson
and
Phillip Farley Allsworth
parents of
Cody Jackson Allsworth
Saturday, the third of October
at half after two o’clock
Washington Baptist Church
Washington, Virginia
Or you can have Pleasure of your company is requested ( more informal wedding0
Or…
Brides name
and Grooms name
parents of
childs name
request the honor of your presence etc.
Sara
My family, your family – blending as one
Sharing, caring – a new life’s begun
BRIDE
and
GROOM
along with their daughter
( her name here) or on any of these examples can put parents of and her name
invite you to join in the celebration of their marriage
on
YEAR
at TIME
LOCATION
ADDRESS
CITY, STATE
or
BRIDE
and
GROOM
together with their ( daughter and list name)
are happy to announce
their marriage
on DAY
YEAR
CITY, STATE
Please join them
for a celebration
on DAY
YEAR
TIME
LOCATION
CITY, STATE
or
BRIDE
and
GROOM
together with their ( daughter and list name)
invite you to share with them
a celebration of love
Their marriage ceremony will take place
on DAY
YEAR
at TIME
LOCATION
ADDRESS
CITY, STATE
Help?! My fiance’s parents gave us about 15 percent of our wedding budget, but my relationship with them was always strained, and since then, everything exploded, and now we’re not sure if they’re coming to the wedding. I don’t want to further tick them off by not listing them on the invite–the rest of the money is coming from us and my parents (the bulk from us), but I also don’t want them to look like hosts, because they may not even show up, and I don’t want them to have to field calls from Great Aunt Sally asking about parking. They have no share in any planning or coordinating.
Is something like this the best option?
Mr. & Mrs. Bride’s Parents
Request the honor of Your Presence
At the marriage of their daughter
Bride’s Name
To
Groom’s Name
Son of
Mr. & Mrs. Groom’s Parents
Saturday the Twenty-First of June
Two thousand and [Year]
Eleven O’clock in the morning
At Location City, State.
Reception to Follow
Michele,
Since the bulk is coming from you, then listing the brides parents make them the main hosts.
Together with our families or Together with our parents
Bride
and Groom request the honor of your presence etc.
( this is one option)
Option 2 is
The pleasure of your company
is requested at the marriage of
Bride
( daughter of brides parents
and
Groom
(son of grooms parents)
etc.
My exhusband is not paying anything toward my daughter’s wedding. Neither of us are remarried. I am paying the entire bill. I don’t think he should be on the invitation. How can I word it?
Sherri,
It depends if the bride still wants to mention him as her father and the groom wants his parents named as “son of grooms parents). Could you let me know these details and then I can find the right wording for the invite. Thanks!!
If it is just you listed it would be..
Mothers name
request the honor of your presence at the marriage of her daughter
brides name
(optional insert daughter of fathers name)
to
grooms name
(optional insert “son of grooms parents)
etc.
If the father will be there and she has a good relationship with him, he can be mentioned in honor without being listed as host.
Thanks Stacey. She recently has a better relationship with him and asked him to talk her down the isle. Altho he first said he may not come, he now will be there. I personally didn’t feel he deserved that honor if he doesn’t want to pay anything, but she is happy about his decision and she is more important to me than my personal agenda or feelings…..but I feel I need to draw the line about the invitation. He is a wealthy attorney and could afford two weddings. I am 63 retired, much harder for me to put this together. I hope you can see how, altho I’m not vindictive, I can’t have it look like he is contributing. Re: groom’s parents, they are helping only with their traditional responsibility of the rehearsal dinner. I wasn’t planning on mentioning them unless you think I should? I really like your idea of mentioning my ex as her father below her name….perhaps a way of giving him recognition without listing him in the “honor” paragraph. Confused about what you mean regarding “he can be mentioned in honor, without being listed as host. If my name is requesting the honor, isn’t that the host?
Sherri,
I only meant having the fathers name below your daughters name as “recognition” of father to the bride. If you do this, I would also have the grooms parents listed (as son of grooms parents names)since other parents are listed. You are not required to do this, you can have just your name as host, since you are paying for the wedding.
hi! here is my issue. my fiance and i ae already living together and we also have a 1yr old son. We, as well as my parents (bride’s parents) are paying for the wedding. My invites are going to have my parents requesting you to our wedding but we are looking for a way to include our son in as well. we have not come up with a creative way to include him and we want to very much. he is going to be a huge part of out ceremony as well as the entire night. HELLPPP!! please, and THANK YOU!
callie, If you are paying for the wedding as well you should also be listed.
Together with their families
the honor of your presence is requested at the marriage of
Bride
and
Groom
parents of sons name
Sunday, the fourth of October
two thousand fourteen
at six o’clock in the evening
Place
Address
I am divorced, and my ex-husband’s new wife will not allow him to help pay for our daughter’s wedding (the new wife does not like that the wedding will take place in a religious context she disagrees with, and generally dislikes me anyway and does all she can to cause problems). In an attempt to maintain the relationship between my daughter and her father, I feel I should make reference to him on the invitation, but the thought of listing his new wife is distasteful. Is it acceptable to just say “The parents of . . .” instead of listing the parent’s names? If I list my ex’s name but not his wife’s, I fear that it will cause another meltdown. I am at a loss as to how to do this without upsetting people (which ultimately ends up upsetting my daughter) and adding more stress to this situation. I appreciate any thoughts. Thank you!
Jen,
I would actually have the families of. It list everyone in a tasteful fashion and does not exclude anyone.
The families of
Joanna Leigh Roberts
and
Andrew Rex Hargreaves
invite you to join in the celebration
of their marriage
Saturday, September 6, 2014
at 6 o’clock in the evening
The Inn at Rancho Sante Fe
5951 Linea De Cielo
Rancho Sante Fe, California
( This wording means both sides will be inviting but I think it will be perfectly fine to show honor to the father in this delicate case)
You could omit names completely if you wish…..
The honor of your presence if requested at the marriage of
Bride
(optional: daughter of mothers name and Mr. and Mrs. fathers name)
and
Groom
son of grooms parents
Or you can leave out the parents names too.
For more examples check out this site…
I personally like the one without the names or the one The Families of.