Wedding Guests “I Dos” and “I Don’ts”
But whether on a sandy beach or inside a snow-covered church, the event is still one of the most memorable in people’s lives and should be celebrated with style.
And while advice and how-tos for brides are plentiful, many guests are still left with lingering questions about wedding day etiquette ... and what gifts to give.
"Although it's an honor to be included in a couple’s special day — and it’s often lots of fun — there are a few rules wedding guests should keep in mind,” says Denise Dinyon, Lenox gift-giving and etiquette expert. Dinyon offers these tips to help guests and ensure a happy day for all.
DO
give a gift, even if you can’t attend. According to the
fourth annual Lenox Gift-Giving and Etiquette survey, nearly 40
percent of people don’t always send a gift to celebrate
a wedding they can’t attend. Sending a gift indicates your
support and best wishes for the happy couple who are starting
their lives together. - DON’T arrive late. Take into account extra time for traffic snarls, bad directions and last minute runs to the convenience store. If you plan to arrive 15 minutes early, you’ll most likely just make it. No one should walk down the aisle after the bride. If you arrive late, try to slip in quietly down a side aisle.
- DO remember to turn off your cell phone during the ceremony. It’s the height of rudeness to allow a personal call to interrupt someone’s once-in-a-lifetime, special moment.
- DO personalize your gift. While registries offer a great way for couples to select the perfect gifts for their lives together, going the extra mile by adding a personal touch is a wonderful way to show you care. If the couple has registered for china, include a special family recipe with the place setting.
- DON’T take a year to send a gift. Contrary to popular belief, guests do not have a year to send a gift. Gifts should really be sent before the wedding. The benefit of sending a gift ahead of time is that the couple will not have to worry about keeping it safe at the reception or transporting it after.
- DO commemorate the special day. After the wedding, send the bride and groom your snapshots. Even though most couples have professional photos, there is something extra special about pictures taken lovingly by friends and family. Personalize the gift by framing the best shot in a beautiful china frame to embellish the couple’s living-room.
- DON’T forget to have fun! Surrounded by family, friends and well-wishers, the bride and groom may not be able to spend more than a few moments with each guest. But having spent so much time on planning their perfect day, knowing that the guests had fun is indeed, the icing on the cake.
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With these simple etiquette tips, guests are bound to have fun at the wedding without having to worry about awkward moments. For more information, tips and gift ideas, visit www.lenox.com or call (800) 63-LENOX.
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I’m going to a Bridal shower for my Daughters best friend…what is an appropriate gift? ie..Sexy undies….dishes…bath towels …and what $$ amount?
cat,
it is easiest to find out discreetly what she needs. whther she likes to cook etc. also consider a gift for useful for the happy couple(which is the kind i love to buy)you can spend any amount you wish but i would say $20.00 plus. bath towels or kitchen items are always nice. i am not sure if they already have most of what they need. look at the registry that would be some good starters.
Wow, that’s a tough one. You probably don’t want to confront this woman, but you don’t want to spend the $50-100 per head on guests you know aren’t coming, either. And you can’t send another RSVP that says, “check YES if you’re STILL coming.”
Since her problem isn’t with the bride, I would see if the bride is willing to ring her up. E.g, “Hi, I heard you might have other plans … I just wanted to personally see if you’re still able to make it, since John and I have really looked forward to having you at this event!” If she says no, the bride can graciously express her disappointment, done, end of story. If you keep it light and keep the guest off the hook, you can probably get your answer. HTH!
How do you handle an Invitee and her guest who has rsvp’d that she and her guest will attend the wedding and reception and then 4 weeks later, because she is angry with the mother of the bride, tells a mutual friend that she is not attending but hasn’t informed the mother of the bride who is coordinating the event?
Thank you for the link. I had no idea about a wedding gift for my friends, but there I have found the right one. And I like your “dos” and “donts” for guests.
Paula,
Yes you send a gift. It shows that you still wish the bride & her groom the best and that even though you couldn’t attend, you still had them in your thoughts. The bride can then see that even though you weren’t able to make it, you thought of her. Hope this helps you!
If you are invited to a bridal shower many states away and can’t attend do you send a gift?
Joan,
you need to ring/ write them and tell them that you are very sorry but due to limited space and seating at the wedding you will be unable to accomodate any additional guests.
it is NEVER ok for a guest to add to the guest list. It is terrible ettiquete…
you could ay that you realise that they thought it might have been ok due to the location(ie theme park) but that the actual venue inside the theme park is very limited and you have had to cut your guest list as it is to fit those attending in, and her having her grandchildren attend will simply not be possible.
Hope this helps..
How do I gently reply to someone who sent in their response card adding 3 additional guests, their grandchildren, when we specifically indicated 2 guests only. She probably thought it was okay because the wedding will take place in an amusement park. The pavillion we are holding the reception in has limited seating.