The Order of Events at Your Wedding Reception
Typically, a wedding reception follows a standard format— one that includes plenty of stages to keep track of.
Here are the common elements you'll typically find at a wedding, with a brief description of each.
Guests Arrive at the Reception Site
Some guests arrive early at the reception. So be sure all reception to-dos are complete by the time your wedding's scheduled to start. Also, all wedding vendors should be suited up in proper attire for early and lingering guests. All tables should be set up, including the cake table, the entertainment's table, the sign-in table, food tables, and tables with chairs for all guests. If you have a seating arrangement, all seating lists should be at the reception with everyone's name indicating where they sit.
Introducing the Wedding Party
This step isn't mandatory, but it's nice for everyone to know who the wedding party — many guests haven't met them before your wedding. Create a "Reception Planning Guide," and give this to your emcee before the wedding. Among other things, this guide should detail your party by the order they enter the reception site, and give their names and titles. The order of entrance is: parents of the bride, parents of the groom, ushers with bridesmaids, flower girl and ring bearer, special guests, best man, maid/matron of honor, bride and groom. In addition, go over how to pronounce the wedding party's names with the emcee.
Introducing the Bride and Groom
This is always the last of the introductions. Everyone should stand before the bride and groom enter. In addition, you can arrange a special song with the musical entertainment and a special announcement with the emcee to punctuate a truly grand entrance. Also, inform the emcee how you'd like to be introduced: Mr. and Mrs. Smith? John and Jane Doe?
Giving the Blessing
This is another step that's not mandatory — but for the religious couple, it makes a nice setting. If you invite the minister to the reception, ask them to conduct the blessing. But if they're not able to attend, a parent or family friend is a good idea. Alternately, the emcee could bless the meal. Be sure to communicate with whoever's giving the blessing well in advance, so they're prepared to give it a personal touch.
Forks at the Ready!
It's time to eat! And no matter how many people are clamoring to wish you well, the bride and groom should stop, rest and partake. This may be your only chance in the day that can all-too-easily become one big blur. Plus, it's customary for the bride and groom to start the food line, which most guests are aware of — so don't be late!
Cutting the Cake
Of course, the bride and groom traditionally cut the first slice on their wedding cake. Then, the bride feeds half of the piece of cake to the groom, and the groom feeds the remainder to the bride. The ceremonial cutting is meant to symbolize the couple's caring and sharing for one another. Don't be afraid to use forks for this step, since they look great in pictures. They almost minimize the possibility of smearing cake all over the wedding regalia.
Toasting the Happy Couple
In the first stage of toasting, the bride and groom toast each other, then interlock arms and drink. Immediately following, the best man and maid/matron of honor make toasts to the bridal couple. Be prepared for other family and friends to follow, too.
Bride & Groom's First Dance
The Bride & Groom's Dance is the first dance between a bride and groom as a married couple. Where you choose to place this in the schedule depends on your preferences. One common option: immediately following the grand entrance, with the wedding party circling the dance.
Father & Daughter's Dance
The Father & Daughter's Dance or the Father Bride Dance is the dance between the father(s) of the bride and the bride. Brides, if you have more than one father in your life, one can tap the other on the shoulder in the middle of the dance so you can dance with both of them. If you don't have a father, a common substitute is a father figure. Even your brother would make a very nice gesture.
Mother & Groom's Dance
The Mother & Groom's dance is the dance between the mother(s) of the groom and the groom. Grooms, if you have more than one mother in your life, one can tap the other on the shoulder in the middle of the dance so you can dance with both. If you don't have a mother, a common substitute is a mother figure, or your sister.
Special Dances
Like many people, you might have some songs that are near and dear to your heart. You can ask the entertainment to play them immediately after the formal dances. Example: If someone close to you passed recently, you could ask the entertainment to play "Angels Among Us" by Alabama.
Bouquet and Garter Toss
In the traditional tossing of the bouquet, the bride tosses her bouquet (or a substitute) to all the single women in attendance. Immediately after the tossing, a chair is set in the middle of the dance floor, for the bride to sit on while the groom removes the garter from her leg, and tosses it to all the single men in attendance. The man and woman who catches the garter and bouquet are said to be the next to marry.
Dancing and Fun
This is what you pay the music entertainment to do — get people out of their chairs and on to the dance floor. Give the entertainment your favorite songs and some absolute no-gos, but don't try to conscript them to a list of 100 songs you picked out in advance.
Just found your website! Love the comments & advice! My husband & I are renewing our vows in August for our 40th Anniversary as we only had a very tiny wedding before. Now we’re having the full event! We didn’t want to wait until the traditional 5oth..who knows if either of us will still be here then. We do need advice about the order of events for music & timing of serving food at the reception as we aren’t having a dj(to my knowledge – no telling what our kids will surprise us with!). We’re having “finger foods” & dessert bar as it’s a late afternoon event not an actual dinner.We’ll also have young children and elderly attending. Thanks!
Diana S.,
Although, not necessary a Dj( or someone in the family/friend musically inclined) will have the best guideline on music. Go through a rundown of your reception idea beginning time etc. With a cocktail reception food will be displayed so its nice to have music playing in the background, with more upbeat songs mingling in gradually. Here is an example of someones timeline:
5.30pm – 6pm Guests arrive, jazz/cocktail music playing (michael buble etc)
6pm – 6.45pm Bridal party arrive/announced, mingle with guests (food: cold canapes)
6.45pm – 7pm Speeches (we are only having two; my dad, H2B and I), cake cutting
7pm First dance, father/daughter dance
7.15pm The real party starts
Fantastic site with a reception timelines
Diana S.,
Without dancing example timeline, just have music softly playing in the background. On the same link I gave you are some timelines for that as well.
Im only having a wedding reception,my question is what steps should i taking in planing it.any ideals will be helpful thank you.<str
Lashune,
* * this should help with tips and guidelines
* more tips
Sit with your fiance and decide what style of celebrations you both want, a sit down affair or a great backyard BBQ where guests can relax. Discuss budget and stick to it. Do you want food or just cake and champagne. A daytime affiar or an evening affair, maybe a after dinner soiree. then you will need to secure the venue( after they meet what you are looking for-ask questions/make sure they will work with you or look elsewhere) it is easiest for most brides to find a location that is all inclusive-catering, staff, chairs, tables etc. combined. See what available food ideas they offer for your budget. Once your venue is set, look at complimentary colors. Do they offer linens, etc. for a included fee or is it extra. If they include lthe linens or only have white linens-take them, they will save money instead of renting more. Dancing? ask the venue about any other vendors for services you like within your budget. For instance, lighting, music, florist,etc. With the right venue and the right staff- it can come together with ease.
I have a question. Is it traditional to have the groom dance with his mom. My fiance and his mother really don’t want to do one but I really want to do a father/daughter dance. Would that be okay? While you are eating for the reception, how many songs should you play? I am getting married in 9 months and I was just wondering.
Erica,
Normally it is a father/daughter dance that is traditional.
For songs it depends on the length of the reception and dinner. Most songs at the wedding dinner are instrumental.
* some tips
* more song tips
As song is an average of 3-4 minutes long-so determine how long the dinner will be and multiply by that. If using instrumental music- remember to check how long it is because those pieces are longer.
love the site doing my first wedding helped me alot
be blessed
hey its my first wedding as well ans its funny to me because the day that you made this post was the day i was propsed to, Jan 7 2011. best wishes with your wedding
I LOVE THIS SITE……And will recommend it to all my Brides! I am a Wedding Consultant/Coordinator from Pennsylvania. It will be so helpful for me!
This is my first wedding but the guide lines helped me quite a bit going straight to the first dance when we arrive sounds perfect to me
the father daughter and mother grooms a little fun then blessing of the food eat soon afta get attention for toast then garter and bounquet
dance awhile have more fun
cake cut
we done
Ok, im confused!! After we all are annouced, is is best to start eating 1st or to do the dances and toasts?? Also after we eat do we do the cake cutting right after or can we dance awhile then do???
Tera, here is a guideline that helps!!
*wedding reception guideline
*guide
*guideline
My best friend is getting married but she isn’t one for wanting to be on display. We are trying to figure out alternatives for the first dances. and she doesn’t really want to be traditional when it comes to the wedding party dancing together either. Any ideas?
jessie, the wedding party dancing together, they will informally but i haven’t been to a wedding where they did formally. this is easy to omit. and i have also been to a bigger wedding where the bride and groom didnt dance a first dance, the dj didnt announce a first dance and noone even paid attention if it was missing. the dj just started with a mix of tunes in the beginning and as the party got started the bigger dance tunes hit. it was so great!! so it wont be missed, i assure you!!
and the other alternative is for the dj to say in lieu of a first dance the bride and groom request the floor be shared by all their guests. although this could or could not work, what if you still danced alone. talk to your dj, unless your plugging in your own music, about these issues. he or she may have some great ideas from previous weddings. personally, i would skip it altogether, no announcement of a 1st dance. go straight from being announced as mr. and mrs. ( i would keep this unless your having an informal affair, and go straight into the cake cutting, which needs to be sooner than later because some guests might leave and never see it) great advice below for you by other couples with same ideas!!)
* Gardenweb forums: “Not into all attention in First dance??”
* no first dance song-or announcements??
I’ve been to one where they did a line dance, and everyone was invited up to dance. That was kinda cool. Only you gotta have a line dancing family for it. Otherwise, she could always pick out the song she wants her first dance to be to, but rather than it be dedicated to only them, perhaps do a dance with her and her husband, his set(s) of parents, her set(s) of parents, and the wedding party with their boyfriend/girlfriend/fiance/spouse. Or…dedicated it to “all those happy couples” so everyone can come up and dance. This way she’s not in the spot light.
Angie what if you were to dance with his father and him with your mother if that is possible? If this isn’t possible maybe a favorite uncle/aunt. You could place chairs with flowers on it at the edge of the dance floor so your loved ones are “joining” you in the dance.
Anyone have any request for alternatives dances. My father passed 2 years ago and my fiance’s mother just passed in April. I need a few fresh ideas for things to do in remembrence.Thanks
I think somewhere you should have a picture of you and your husband, and on either side your father and his mother, and both of you write something about your respective parent with it. And have that lead into pictures of the two of you growing up.
Lately I’ve been to weddings where the wedding cake is cut before the dinner begins (just after the bride and groom arrive) This gives the kitchen time to cut the cake and serve it just after everyone has had dinner and before people start to leave. It seemed to work out very well and there was no left over cake.
Of course you can. You guys already know whaty one another wants. If the theme is “A family affair”Then build your wedding around that and have special tributes to what your family represents.
The theme of our wedding is “It’s a family affair” I am struggling with what type of favors we should give our guests. I want our gifts to them to represent our theme. What is the most popular wedding favor to give and is there a way to purchase wedding favors in bulk if you are having a large wedding? Please help!
You can give specially wrapped candy bars. You measure the candy bar length and width and then design it on your computer. You can even add a picture of the bride and groom. You can do bite size candy bars, the medium size, the regular size or xlarge size. It’s fun to do and you can make it as personal as you want. Everybody loves chocolate.
Congratulations
Sherry
I am getting married in three weeks, I bought bottled water and I replaced the labels with personalised stickers with our names on them, everyone needs cold water to drink anyway.
My husband and I are renewing our vows, having our dream wedding and reception after 5 yrs of marriage and I want to know if there is a special order of wedding ceremony and reception we should go by? Can we have our wedding and reception the way we want?
My husband and I are renewing our vows after 17 years 0n 11/11/2011, We want a wedding that we never had so ours is a dream come true were even doing our own vows. yes there is a special order for the ceremony and reception. also you can do it your way it will still be special no matter how you do it what ever you do just make sure you’ll be happy on your wedding day.