Giving a Maid of Honor Speech? Simple Tips You Can Use Right Now!
One of the maid of honor's most important duties — if not the most important — is to offer a speech at the reception.
This speech is a big part of the wedding, and usually takes place within the reception' s first half, before people leave. You'll no doubt have a full crowd for your speech ... so you'll want to be prepared!
While the best man's speech is equally important, he'll focus more on the groom. So it's your job to delight the bride, and give her something to remember with your speech. Sound like a tall order? There are a few tips to keep in mind when giving your maid of honor speech that practically guarantee it'll be a success — and I'm going to share them with you.
Leave Them Laughing
The best speeches are usually the funny ones ... the kind where everyone in the crowd is laughing, not just the bride. A great way to start out your speech is to tell a story or two about growing up together, and the amusing things that happened to you.
When it comes to this speech, a lot of maids like to wing it — not write anything down, and hope for the best. I think they often hope this will create a natural, spontaneous effect, but I'm not always sure that's the result. At any rate, on such a big day, it makes sense to put in the extra effort and write down a few prepared remarks.
We all know that most of us don't like to speak in front of other people. We tend to get nervous when we know we have to make a speech, and we procrastinate a little. Having a few prepared notes makes life a lot easier on that front as well.
What to Cover
This is a popular way to start a speech — it lets the audience know who you are and how you know the bride. And in my opinion, it sets the right tone for the rest of it. After that, start talking about what the bride used to tell you about the groom when they first started dating — it's easy to make a funny story out of that.
Then, if you want to get into something more substantial, start talking about how terrific the bride and groom look together. Add a spiritual comment or a meaningful piece of writing that you dedicate to the bride and groom. And of course, don't forget to give them a dash of marital advice and wish them well on their journey.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:38 pm
I am the MOH in my best friends wedding. I’m nervous about the speech because the bride and groom should NOT be getting married!! Together for 10 years and 10 miserable years at that. I’ve never seen him appreciate her or look at her with loving eyes. They have broken up lots of times and he has cheated and left her for another girl. He came back after he was dumped I think and figured he’s not getting any better than my best friend. She is just not strong enough to take charge of her life and do what she knows is best for her. He asked and she said yes. So how do you celebrate something you totally disagree with, and I’m the MOH!
June 23rd, 2008 at 12:27 am
Hi Alyssa, welcome!
On the crying thing: if you prepare and practice a speech ahead of time, you’re a little less likely to be overwhelmed by emotion. Of course, you might still cry a bit, that’s okay.
James Nardel (who wrote this article) has some great tips for your situation. For example, bring some tissue up front so you don’t end your speech with a Tammy Faye, wiping mascara off your face with your hands.
Also, here’s one of his “recipes” for a MOH speech when you know the bride well but not the groom:
1. Start with a story (funny if possible) about the bride and an important role she played in your life, or how you got to be such close friends. One story is enough.
2. Give the groom a few brief, amusing hints about the bride’s likes and dislikes — how to keep her happy over a lifetime, in other words.
3. Close by offering the couple your best wishes and maybe a timeless piece of advice for a spiritual, lasting marriage.
June 23rd, 2008 at 12:10 am
Here’s another great speech by a totally prepared MOH (again, she brought notes!) This is a great one to watch for MOHs who don’t know the bride or the groom that well — obviously a pretty common situation.
Couples like to emphasize how their romance was the most important ones in each others’ lives, even if they dated other people. Here, the MOH cleverly manages to convey how special the groom was to her best friend, the bride — even though the bride and the MOH were in separate parts of the country throughout the whole courtship. This is another speech the B&G are going to want to see again in their video.
June 23rd, 2008 at 12:02 am
YouTube is a wonderful resource for checking out real Maid of Honor speeches. I don’t know of a better way to learn in living detail what will come off well, and what you should never do.
There are lots of examples of What Not to Do (don’t try to make up your speech on the spot … don’t insult the bride or groom in any way … and don’t sob through your speech). And then there’s some really well-prepared MOHs who deliver some wonderful compliments to the couple — and deliver a speech that’s brief and sweet.
Here’s a good example of a successful MOH speech. Her angle is “cute things I learned from/about the couple.” She described the first time she met the bride-to-be, and how in love with her the groom obviously was. She did her homework and wasn’t afraid to bring up notes (don’t be!). As a result, she pleased the crowd & most of all made the couple very happy.
June 22nd, 2008 at 11:41 pm
My sisters wedding is june 28th and i am the MOH and.. i still dont have my speech done yet. i have no idea what to say… any pointers?
June 21st, 2008 at 9:44 am
I am the maid of honor in my best friend’s wedding. We have been best friends for over 20 years and she is marrying someone she met in college down south. He is a real sweetheart but I don’t know him super well and I don’t know his family at all…. I am nervous about the wedding because that is the time when we will all meet and I am also concerned about my toast at the reception… I don’t want to make it too mushy and directly to my friend, I don’t know a lot about their dating life and I am just at a loss for words… I am afraid I will cry out of joy and not be able to speak… Any tips for meeting the family, the speech or how to stay composed?
Thanks!
Did I mention the wedding is only two weeks away?
June 12th, 2008 at 7:50 pm
I am definitely in the same boat as Muriel. I am only 16 and I’m the MOH and I have to give a speech to 250+ people. Yeah fun. Plus I’m planning a bachelorette party I can’t even go to.
Although I may be the DD haha. So I think I’m going to see if my sister will help me co-write it.
May 24th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Hi. My Aunt is getting married in June. She asked me to be her maid of honor because we are more than aunt and niece, we are sisters. She has been an like and older sister to me in a million ways. Her and my soon to be uncle are the perfect couple and I need to know how to make my speech well enough to get through the sincere message I want to leave. Please help me!
May 23rd, 2008 at 7:13 pm
OK SO MY OLDER SISTER IS GETTING MARRIED TO THE MOST WONDERFUL GUY IN THE WORLD AN IM HER MADE OF HONOR AND HAVE TO GIVE A SPEECH IM REALLY NERVOUS I KNOW I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT HOW SHES ALWAYS BEENT HERE FOR ME BECAUSE IM 19 YEARS OLD AND JUST HAD A LIL BOY AND SHE WAS THERE FOR ME THE WHOLE TIME I WAS PREGNANT AND WAS IN TEH ROOM THE DAY I GAVE BIRTH SO I REALLY WANT TO MAKE THIS A SPECIAL SPEECH BUT IM SO STUCK PL SOEMONE HELP ME
May 13th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
ok so one of ym bridesmaids is coming in from out of state…how soon should i ask her to be here for final dress fittings and wedding rehersals and such?
March 20th, 2008 at 7:34 am
hey guys
i’m sancia and i have to make a speech at my cousins up coming wedding the advice that i can give you guys is just keep it short and simple making reference to the relevance of the bride and the groom don’t use anything too embarrasing if you talking about child hood memories
March 9th, 2008 at 10:37 am
hey guys soo im the maid of honor in my sisters wedding and im only 15 haha im so stuck on making this speech but i want to make it perfect and not make her regret having her little sister as her maid of honor, soo can anybody help me , please !
September 28th, 2007 at 1:52 am
Jodi I am kind of in your shoes… I’m writing mine now. Just keep it short and sweet. I’m writing about how long I’ve known her and we’re really not friends and I barely know anything about the groom so… I’m looking online for tips and tidbits and kind of piecing them all together. I’m sure you’ll do fine if you either lead a prayer and/or do a comparison speech love is like a… rollercoaster… (popular speech ups and downs etc.)
September 21st, 2007 at 11:48 am
Alright, I am really panicking here. My sister is getting married in a week and I just recently found out that I have to be the one to give a toast at their wedding. I am really limited in what I can say because we did not have the best relationship growing up, and we’re still not close now. (I’m really only the MOH by default because our other sister is only 11.) On top of that, my sister and her husband-to-be live something like 10 hours away, and I’ve only met him twice. It’s very difficult for me to say anything about they two of them together because I haven’t really seen them together too much, and I’ve hardly talked to her since she moved up North. Don’t get me wrong, I know they are very happy together, but I don’t have any little annecdotes to tell about them or about our childhood. Am I completely hopeless?
September 9th, 2007 at 9:14 pm
Hey all, my husband did this when he was best man at a wedding, he pulled out a sheet of paper and read from it, giving tons and tons of compliments to the groom (he is the handsomest, toughest, most awesome, etc) and then said “Tony, I can’t read this last word you wrote, could you help me here? And a closing quote “to the wings of love, may the never lose a feather, but soar to the heavens above and last and last forever, to the bride and groom.
September 6th, 2007 at 6:22 pm
I am the maid of honor at my very close twin sisters wedding that is in two weeks. I get along okay with the hubby to be but I don’t like him all that much and I just can not think of happy romantic stories of them or anything to say! I am freaking out…….I am supposed to get up there and talk about how they are made for each other and I can think of a word! Yikes…..what do I say???
August 30th, 2007 at 11:35 pm
my best friend of almost 10 years is getting married w/ her boyfriend of 8 years….i dont know what to say ….im terrified of speaking in front of people and i really dont know what im going to say i need help!
August 29th, 2007 at 5:41 pm
I just been asked to be the best lady at my brothers wedding.
It’s both their second marrage and i did not like the bride when I first found out they were dating. Please help me make a special speech for their special day.
August 28th, 2007 at 7:23 pm
I’m moh at my sister’s wedding in 2008.I’ve never been, I need help with what i’m supposed to do but most of all the “Speech” and bachlorette party. What am I supposed to say, or do? I want it to be close to the best and the most memorable speech/party/wedding there could be!!
August 20th, 2007 at 8:43 pm
I have been asked to be the maid of honor at my sister’s wedding, and I’m really excited. However, i have no idea what to say in the toast. I am having a hard time coming up with a funny childhood story. We have tons of them im sure (were best friends) but i dont know what kind of topic would be entertaining to the crowd. Does anyone have any advice?
August 11th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
I’ve been asked to be the MOH at my mom’s wedding in a week.
I’ve been so busy trying to get everything else together that I completely spaced on the speech, and I have no idea what to say.
I’m only 16, so my stories about her raising me are kind of limited, so I’m kind of stuck.
Any suggestions?
August 8th, 2007 at 9:48 am
Hi Hannah. It won’t make it less nerve-wracking, but it sounds like you’re the ideal person to handle this MOH speech. It would be very cute to talk about some of her early “romances” while she was waiting for her true love to come along. You know, nothing serious or threatening, but some funny anecdotes involving the paste-eating years. And, if you can remember any slam books or any quizzes or lists you did together as teens dreaming up the ideal guy (and of course, be sure to point out how the groom IS the ideal guy), people would love to hear that.
Since you know and like her fiance, it should be relatively easy for you to come up with a few ways they’re perfectly suited to each other. Funny ways are good, as long as they’re lighthearted and kind.
You’ll do a great job, don’t sweat it! You know everything you need to make a wonderful speech.
August 8th, 2007 at 9:25 am
My friend has asked me to be the MOH in her wedding. I have a lot of time to prepare but i have no idea what to say. i’m really bad at giving speeches and not good with words sometimes. i want it to be perfect. we’ve known each other since kindergarden and her fiance is my friend as well….
August 3rd, 2007 at 1:09 am
The cutest speech I ever heard was at my cousins wedding - her sister told a story about her from when they were little… something about her being a little dorky ( which had everytone laughing) and how they ignored her when she said she was going to marry prince charming…. ended it with , “i guess you weren’t so crazy back then after all because you did find your prince charming…….” i don’t remember the whole thing word for word- but I thought the concept was very cute. good luck!
August 2nd, 2007 at 2:26 pm
so my sister is also getting married in about a week and a half. im the maid of honor and im totally siked but i have to give a spweech and i have no clue what to say and on top of that im not all that great at standing in front of alot of people and talking.
what should i do?
July 25th, 2007 at 2:22 pm
Hey Brittany, my room mate had the same problem. Her sister’s wedding is while we are away at school. They arranged a bachelorette party at a place 18+ where everyone could get in. They also did the shower the next afternoon to avoid extra travel for her.
July 25th, 2007 at 10:11 am
i am the maid of honor of my sister’s wedding and her wedding is going to be when i’m in school. but i’m still going and i’m not exactly sure what to do at the bachelorette party or at the wedding shower because i am underage… what should i do?
July 4th, 2007 at 11:03 am
My maid of honour is extremly nervous giving a speech I was wondering would it be bad if she wrote one and the MC read it for her?
June 26th, 2007 at 10:15 pm
actually im the maid of honor for my sisters wedding and i have no idea what to say its in 2 weeks and i just found out that i needed to make a speech
June 25th, 2007 at 2:27 pm
Thanks Natasha!
June 25th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
Jill, that’s an interesting one!
It seems like there are some opportunities for humor there. For example, you could bring up some of the romantic advice your mother gave you growing up and apply it her new relationship.
Or, you can go for nostalgia, and talk about some of your mother’s happiest moments you’ve seen (being sensitive about previous relationships of course), tying that to her happiness now.
If your mother and her partner’s lives are going well (promotions, accomplishments), you can congratulate them on all the wonderful events of the past few years, pointing out that this is the biggest thing of all to congratulate for …
Or, try to think of a poem or song your mother really loves that fits the occasion, and read some of the words. Maybe even a book she shared with you when you were little that has a connection to love and partnership. Just some ideas.
June 25th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
My mom is getting married for the third time in a couple weeks. I recently learned that she is making me give a speech. It’s his first wedding. What is a girl to do?
June 8th, 2007 at 6:55 pm
Okay my sister is getting married the end of July and I am trying to prepare a toast and I have looked at a number of websites for ideas but keep having to fill out stupid surveys inoreder to look at the websites. If anyone has ideas or a website please let me know
June 6th, 2007 at 6:03 pm
yikes! i am the MOH for my sisters wedding i dont know what to say i looked for samples but it got me to this which doesnt really tell me anything because its other people asking questions to you but anyways i want my speech i give to be special and i want my sister to always remember the speech i give on her wedding day same with her hubby, my sister and her husband mean alot to me and everytime i ask someone to give me advice they always say , say it from your heart which i would if i only knew what to say…
May 30th, 2007 at 5:59 pm
Hello! My best friend just asked me to be her MOH. The olny problem is that I really don’t know her Fiancee what do I do to get to know him better, and what do I say about him on my speech.
PLEASE HELP!!!
May 18th, 2007 at 9:05 pm
I need HELP. Im the Maid of Honor for my best friend wedding. I get very nervous when i have to speak infron of people. Please help me. Its been 14 years since we know each other. We whet to high school together. Then she became my roomate whene we where in college. I need help!!!
May 12th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
I need help! I am the MOH in my mothers wedding Next week May 19th and I have researched what to say to her and my new stepfather. I know that she will expect something funny as well. I don’t know where to go! Please help if you have any suggestions or websites that I can research. Thanks so much!
May 9th, 2007 at 8:00 pm
Teressa-
I know the feeling! My BFF asked me to be her MOH, but I’m at college about 400 miles away. Keep in touch with her…e-mail, phone, snail mail, whatever you have. Also, remember that you might be able to find something that the bride doesn’t have in her town that you do! Keep in mind that the bride chose YOU to be her MOH-you hold a special place in her heart.
Best wishes to all involved!
-Kathleen
May 7th, 2007 at 12:58 pm
my best friend of almost 10 years is marrying her boyfriend that she’s been with for 4 years now… she knows that i am TERRIFIED of speaking in front of large audiences, but still requested me to make a speech. She knows that i am flattered to be chosen over her own sister to be her maid of honor, so i dont know what to do about this situation. i have always had a phobia of speaking in front of people, any advice please!!!!!!!
April 30th, 2007 at 12:25 pm
Christina- it would be okay to acknowledge that you haven’t known them for very long but you could let everyone know what your first impression was when you first saw them together. Are there any funny moments since then? If you don’t have much to say just wish them a lot of love and thank them for letting you be a part of their wedding.
April 30th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
I have a similar dilemma, about a year ago I moved out of the state. I am the M.O.H. for my life long best friend, but how can a help plan a wedding 1,000 miles away. So she has the next bridesmaid doing a lot of the planning. I want to help as much as possible, so the other bridesmaids don’t hate me for doing my work. What are some simple things I can do to help living so far away?
April 25th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
I’m the MOH for a girl i have only been friends with for maybe a year. I’ve known her for 5years but we never started hanging out until about a year ago. I do want to give a speech to make her feel special, i just don’t know what to say. She’s dated this guy for 7 years so they were together for a long time before i even knew them!! Any Advice???
March 30th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
In a time when tradition is out, and being a trendsetter is definitely the new “tradition”, why not ask someone else to give the speech. Have your mother or aunt give a speech or, heck, even your dad. Who says the MOH has to give a speech? Ask one of the other bridesmaids.
Chances are your MOH was probably a flake when you asked her to be part of your ceremony, so there must be some other reason why you asked her. Try to channel that rather than kicking her out of her position.
If all else fails, you could just forgo the speeches altogether (most of the time they’re a let down anyway). You and your new hubby could stand up and s thank the family and friends, who without your day would not be nearly as special, for being there.
March 19th, 2007 at 8:41 am
JESSICA:
I ran into a similar problem with my maid of honor. How many girls are standing for you? Looking back on the days leading up to my wedding and how I should have kicked my M.O.H our of her position, I would definately recommend you talking to her and telling her that you have enough on your plate without worrying about her. Ask one of your other girls to be the M.O.H. This will be one of the most memorable days of your life, don’t let her ruin the days leading up to it. Trust me, my maid of honor showed her true colors to me during my wedding prep days….I totally regret having her. I guess some girls have jealousy issues to deal with. Get rid of her…she’s being selfish.
March 15th, 2007 at 9:52 am
I am the bride and i don’t trust my Maid of honor to even have a speech. She is the only one who still doesn’t have her dress. What am I to do.
March 11th, 2007 at 10:45 am
I have to give a speech for my best friend for a renewing of her vows. They have been together for 10 years and yes they have through a lot and i am so proud to know that she has made it. I pray that she makes it for many more years. I just don’t know what to say but I do want her know that i am happy for her.
January 5th, 2007 at 1:32 am
I am my best friends maid of honor. I am trying to prepare a speach. I do not know what to write about. Even worse I hate talking infront of large crowds and there will be about 150 people there. Do you have any ideas.
December 12th, 2006 at 11:56 am
I am so lost vis-a-vis the speech. I am the maid of honor in my MOTHER’S wedding (July 2007). I feel that because I am her daughter she will expect the speech to be moving and funny at the same time! I have no idea what to say. Help!
December 7th, 2006 at 1:00 pm
I am having the same dilemma!…which is why I am very nervous about the speech. I would appreciate advice as well if anyone can share???
November 14th, 2006 at 9:22 am
Dear Kristi: I recommend that you talk about your best friend’s qualities, and what you admired about her growing up. You may have been apart for awhile, you could say, but that hasn’t dimmed your friendship. In your speech, you may want to tie those admirable traits and wonderful qualities to her new marriage, and explain how they’ll make for a wonderful union.
You might say that you may not know the groom very well yet, but that he makes your best friend happy and has won the heart of a very special woman, which says volumes about him. You may find more helpful tips at www.easyweddingtoasts.com.
November 13th, 2006 at 10:32 am
Ok - So, I’m the Maid of Honor at my best friend’s wedding coming up in June of 2007. Here is my “speech dilemma”. I have lived in another province since we both graduated highschool and I don’t really know her and here fiancee as a couple. Any words of wisdom for me?