The Wedding Cake: A Ceremony by Itself

When my son and daughter-in-law held a knife and cut the first slice out of their traditional, buttercream-frosted, lavish, and very expensive wedding cake, I couldn't help smiling.

If we'd been in the early Roman times, the wedding cake wouldn't be the huge, tasty, decorative creation before us now, but many small, possibly cupcake-sized, salty wheat cakes. Guests wouldn't be eating the cakes — they'd be throwing them at the bride or crumbling them over her head for fertility. And then, single women would try to catch the crumbs for the same reason they catch the bridal bouquet today.

In the olden times when many children didn't make it to adulthood due to childhood illnesses, fertility was important, and that is probably the reason the wedding cake tradition was born. Later on during their empire, Romans turned their salty cakes into sweet cakes. This time, they made a slightly larger bridal cake with many smaller cakes surrounding it. It was the guests themselves who contributed the smaller cakes, as gifts. These cakes were made for eating, but guests still crumbled some of those over the bride.

After the Roman conquest of the British Isles, Roman customs influenced the natives who baked dry cakes for their weddings and drank their ale with them. In old England and Ireland, there was also (and still is) the custom of a groom's cake, dark in color and made of dried fruit.

When the English sent their pioneers into the new world, they also sent their customs with them. First European settlers in the Americas made fruitcakes for their weddings because it was easier to preserve them.

Unsurprisingly, the fancy wedding cake with several tiers began with the French. Though the English scorned it at first, they later embraced it, and elaborate cakes became the norm throughout Europe. Owing to its long history, the wedding cake became an individual affair for a modern wedding party, with different shapes and styles and with a rich variety of flavors, fillings, and icings.

After the vows, the cake has become a vital part of today's wedding ceremony. When we see the cake, we naturally associate it with the style, elegance, and delicacy of the couple's upbringing, in addition to their enthusiasm for their marriage.

Not just the cake's creation but its cutting, too, has become a whole ceremony in itself. Traditionally, the bride and the groom cut the cake together. The groom places his right hand over the bride's right hand as they cut the first slice. Then they feed each other to general applause. Sometimes, the couple saves the top tier for the first anniversary or the birth of their first child, whichever comes first.

In some modern weddings, smearing each other with icing (the "cake smash") during the cutting is popular, which can be amusing. But my favorite wedding cake anecdote seemed like a disaster at the time. (Still, the marriage has lasted, so it might have been a good omen.)

Several years ago, we attended a large wedding reception. Several step stairs led up to the main reception hall, so the service staff had to carry rather than wheel in the wedding cake. I don't know why nobody thought of a ramp, but two waiters, one on each side, lugged the cake up the steps.

Of course, one of them tripped. The cake fell to the floor. Whether it was luck or heavenly intervention, the top two tiers somehow stayed intact. Still, pandemonium broke out, with the bride's mother literally fainting and maintenance people scurrying about. Hotel management to the rescue! The management crafted a replacement, creating the bottom base with a collection of smaller cakes, and stacking the two original layers on top.

Judging from that experience, I think it might be a good idea to have a just-in-case second cake.

wedding cake, history of the wedding cake, wedding cake customs