By Terrica Skaggs
You’ve got the dress — and the man. You've booked the caterer, photographer and D.J. Still worried about your wedding day? Will your guests enjoy themselves? Most importantly, will you enjoy yourself? It's your day, and the answers matter!
Whether you've got the next year or a few brief months to plan, your event can still be just as spectacular as the ones you've seen in the magazines and TV shows. Yes, you can impress family and friends with your own celebrity-style wedding. And I'm going to show you how.
1.) Remember Your Guests.
Your family and friends will have gone to some expense to enjoy your nuptials with you. Make sure you show your appreciation. Include them — guests like to feel like they belong. Have lots of
out-of-town guests? Be sure to leave a welcome basket in their rooms. You can do this on your own (or buy pre-made) by collecting some inexpensive staples and mementos of your host city. If you opt not to provide a basket or gift for your guests, at least supply an itinerary. Also, guests who've come from afar will want to maximize their time with you. Inviting them to your rehearsal dinner or a post-wedding brunch is a kind and generous gesture.
2.) Dream up a Theme.
When a bride comes to me, one of the first questions I ask is “What's your theme?” When they say they don’t have one, part of me knows this will be an uphill battle. Ever heard the saying, “If you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for anything?” The same is true with themes. If you don’t have one, you'll find yourself (subconsciously) going in five incompatible directions.
So pick a theme. The theme doesn’t have to be big — just draw on who you and your fiancé are: your hobbies, your professions. From Hollywood's golden age to Mardi Gras masquerade, from country-western to Mediterranean, the possibilities are endless! And just to simplify it, yes, your colors can be a theme. But be consistent. If your “theme” is green and pink, pick specific shades and stick to them. No forest, chartreuse, lime or mint, please.
Also, if you do base your theme on colors, try to pick three max, and make sure they play well together. Try to pick “in-season” colors, too — lilac at a November/December wedding can look a bit washed out. Your theme will pull your whole event together — from food to favors.
3.) Dwell on Décor.
Even if your venue isn't the Hilton, you can still make it look like a million bucks. Wishing you could coax a visit from Christopher Lowell or Martha Stewart? You can — grab an enticing interior decorating book at your local bookstore or library. Pay attention to lines, textures and silhouettes. How do they make you feel? Is this the mood you want at your wedding?
Weave things like flowers, candles, sashes or seashells into your décor. You'll save money, and also give your theme some authenticity. Find out from your venue what type of restrictions they have (such as no open flames, or no outside vendors). If you've got some play money, invest in props to go with your theme — or a lighting and staging company to bring the scene alive.
4.) Get Personal.
Being unique will carve out a lasting spot in the minds of your guests. Step out of the ordinary with personal vows and toasts. Share your relationship — name your assigned tables for places that you and your fiancé saw and loved, or your favorite foods, songs or movies. Work photos into your centerpieces, cake table or gift table. Celebrate the both of you by incorporating ethnic and family traditions.
For example: if you have a close relationship with your extended family, and your guest list is small, opt for the American or family-style dinners — where the dishes are set in the middle of the table and guests serve themselves. If your culture calls for a special wedding dress, wear your white gown to your ceremony and the ethnic dress to your reception. Include your guests in special rituals like jumping the broom, or the Hindu Sindoor ritual. Plus, guests love to see photo slideshows! They're simple to do, and give your guests an chance to know you better.
5.) Don’t Skip the Cocktail Hour.
While you're off walking on air and grasping the concept that you're finally a “Mrs.,” your guests are left twiddling their thumbs at your reception site, hoping you'll show soon. Be generous and greet them with sumptuous treats. Create an environment conducive to mingling, and play soft
music in the background. You want people to get to know each other and chat — so don’t blast the sounds. Opt for jazzy classics ... the kind of music that instinctively makes people feel they're at a VIP event.
Also, strongly consider springing for extra wait staff. Remember the last time you had to swim upstream to the bar, wait in line and balance drinks in both hands as you made your way back to your companion? It's a hassle. But have the drinks butlered, and your event will feel refined (and your guests, important). Plus, here's a great chance to express your personality by passing a special signature drink. Put up little signs in a silver-plated frame to explain the drink's significance. Your guests will feel "in" on the fun, and enjoy trying something novel.
6.) Don’t Skimp on Food.
It's simple: food and drink make the event ... and
good food and drinks make the party! And while your budget's probably not infinite, it's also true that your guests should never be fighting over the Ritz crackers and spray cheese at your 7:00 p.m. reception. The reception (including food) should take a big bite from your budget — and it should show. If it doesn’t, what shows is that you didn't splash out to make your guests comfortable ... and they'll leave to forage for food elsewhere, mid-reception. Who wants to stay at a party while their stomach growls?
If your choices and funds are tight, look to your caterer for inspiration. Ask if you can provide your own recipes (pick up a nice cocktail book. I personally love Cocktail Food by Mary Corpening Barber and Sara Corpening Whiteford with Lori Lyn Narlock). When needed, cut corners on the presentation, not the food. Sure, that may mean no ice sculpture or five-foot eagle made from lox, but you can still gussy up the tables with fresh flowers and candles. Add variety with themed stations, convenience with buffets, and elegance with plated dinners.
7.) Assign Seats.
I know a lot of planners don't like seating, but my experience is it makes things more fun for your guests. Don't split up couples, of course, but find a way to encourage single guests to mingle. At weddings with no assigned seating, I've seen a single guest find her way back from the buffet station to find someone else's coat or purse in their seat, and five animated people swapping old war stories together. Intimidating!
8.) That’s Entertainment!
Whatever you choose — a band, a DJ or some combination — make sure that they mesh with your personality. You also want them to reflect your event's overall theme and formality (no harpists at a country-western wedding, please!). When interviewing a DJ, ask to see pictures from previous events, if available. What does their guest
pool look like? Is it similar to mix of guests you'll have at your wedding? What does their music library consist of?
You'll need someone who isn't so low-key they'll put everyone to sleep, and not so over-the-top that your guests will rush to the nearest exit. You need a professional to gauge (and tempt) the crowd. Definitely make sure there's a plan to keep the music playing, even through breaks. Any dead silence will definitely kill the fun at your party.
9.) Get the Party Started.
Nobody likes to be first on the dance floor. But it's your party! You'll be the center of attention, as you should be, and everyone will follow your lead. If you get up and dance, your guests will too. While your DJ may be tops, it's really you that your guests know — your excitement will catch on, and they'll soon join in. Make sure that you're social, though. Instead of sticking to the stodgy receiving line, why not flutter from table to table with your new husband to say your “hellos” and “thank you"s?
10.) Get Professional Help.
It's always fun to meet someone who wants to hear about your wedding — all the time. Get your creative juices flowing, take advantage of vendor discounts and learn industry insider secrets by enlisting the help of a professional wedding planner.
Everyone has a job to do at your wedding. Yours is to be the bride, and enjoy the first few hours of married life with family and friends. While you might think you can handle a few emergencies during your wedding, it's more likely you won't have a minute to spare. At the least, definitely enlist the help of a wedding planner to handle your "Day Of "coordination.
