The 10 Top Types of Favor-Buying Brides

Brides tend to fit into 10 main categories when it comes to buying wedding favors. Hey, no one like to be labeled, but the truth is that most of us fit in here somewhere. Which type are you?

1) The Big Inner Child. Basically you want your favors to be toys. Like kazoos or yoyos or maybe personalized beer kozies or if you're ethnic, wooden push toys, the kind with bobbly dolls that dance when you press the bottom. Your children's tables get an inordinate amount of attention. You asked your fiancé if you could get the reception catered at the local McDonald's Playhouse, but got an inscrutable look in return.

2) The Missing Windsor. You probably hail from some murkily royal ancestors, like Audrey Hepburn, or the guy that plays Christian on Nip/Tuck (even if your parents deny adopting you). You plan to hand out pricey keepsakes, like Keith and Nicole's silver clocks from Tiffany & Co. As for the IRS, they plan to have reps intercept your guests for declarations as they leave.

3) The Ultra-Traditionalist. Your favors are sure to be five white Jordan almonds in a favor box. Or if you're feeling a bit wild, a truffle box containing five candied chocolate hearts (with white candy coating). Your wedding colors are white on white, and you're planning to wear a tiara. You have a little shrine devoted to Princess Diana. Web quizzes show that your Sex and the City twin is Charlotte. Duh.

4) The Romantic. You want to send your guests home with iris bulbs or baby trees. Actually, trees are better. Someday they'll grow into magnificent oaks in your guests' backyards, reminding them every year of your torrid love. At the very least, you want a permanent place in their favor drawers. You like to imagine each guest returning to that drawer every year on your anniversary. They'll gently withdraw your carefully-chosen favor, smile before looking deep into each other's eyes ... and grapple each other to the ground. Ahhh.

5) The Coordinator. You don't really care what your favors are, as long as they match your theme. Your dresser and bed are the same color and make. Your throw pillows match the fringe on your lampshade. Your rug matches your pedigreed dog. Your younger fiancé matches his outfit to yours when you prep for a night on the town. Your first name is Demi.

A variant on the Coordinator is the Personalizer. You don't care what your favors are, as long as they come engraved with your names and dates. Personalized matchbooks are fine. So are fragments from a fallen satellite, as long as they're personalized.

6) The Sweet Tooth. Favors are an opportunity to spend hours fondling and packaging the kind of treats that sensory-deprived Atkins followers never eat anymore, except at weddings. You yourself haven't touched them ever since you decided to try for that size 5 gown. In addition to favors, you're planning an opulent candy buffet and a four-tier chocolate fountain. Your cake flavor is Death by Chocolate.

7) The "Queen For a Day." Your favors are an open invitation for guests to celebrate you. You'll give them things that will make you look great in pictures, like bubble wands, petal cones or sparklers. You want to shine and you're not afraid to admit it. Especially after forking over that 30K for the party.

8) The Eco Warrior. You want your favors to be fair trade and cruelty-free. (No blood diamonds, say.) You're drawn to plantable favors, but ultimately you heed the calling of your favorite cause and donate instead.

9) The Innovator. You're always the first to spread the latest and greatest YouTube or BoingBoing finds to your friends. You're far too hip for Starbucks. Your wedding dress incorporates something surprising, like poppy-colored feathers or embroidered grass. Instead of a photo booth, you're borrowing an installation from a local art gallery that points out class differences in the suburbs. Sean Lennon agreed to rock your cocktail hour. Your menu fuses culinary favorites from the coasts of four different continents. Your favors are remarkable, even "challenging," like lemurs with all the import papers.

10) The Nostalgiac. You read Penguin reprints of Victorian novels. You've seen every version of Pride and Prejudice, but the BBC's is your favorite. You want your favors to lend that extra sweetness to life that people so rarely take time for. You hope your guests will switch off their cell phones, round up their kids from the DZ, turn off the playoffs and sit in the parlor (or the closest facsimile in their open floor plans) for one blissful evening during which they tell stories from childhood, crochet rustic little blankets, write thank you notes in longhand, feed sparrows from their palms and spread little dabs of the jam you gave them on homemade scones.