How Weddings Have Changed — Some Year-End Reflections
As we approach the end of 2006, it seems like good time to reflect on what’s been going on over the past few years in weddings.
Some aspects of weddings seem to change faster than you can say “capris and wide belts on the catwalk.” In other areas, things are much as they’ve been for eons. Today, let’s look at the …
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.
The Theme’s the Thing. No post on the current state of weddings is complete without mentioning themes. Once upon a time, “wedding” was pretty much the theme, and everyone knew what to expect — lots of white, and maybe some hearts or lovebirds or swans to flesh things out. The wedding cake was white, the topper was a kitschy plastic couple standing at attention, the wedding garter was blue and always tossed by the groom, and the photographer knew precisely what shots to check off — the cake mash, the wedding party, the bride at the window.
But things have changed in this era of $30,000+ weddings, and many weddings — perhaps even most — revolve around a theme. Not just a subtle theme, either, like the couple’s favorite colors, but a big, sweeping, gloriously Capital-T Theme. We’ll talk a lot a lot more about themes later on.
The Favor Evolution. It used to be the favors only showed up at certain weddings: East or West Coast weddings, Italian weddings or high end weddings — and when they did appear, they were more than likely to be the familiar five Jordan almonds in some kind of demure packaging. Nowadays, they’re as much a part of most receptions as the flank steak or best man’s toast. And they’re far more likely to express some aspect of the couple’s personality instead of merely hewing to tradition.
Tasty Trends. It wasn’t long ago that Ron Ben-Israel was musing philosophically over the wild, exotic colors couples were craving, like deep reds and burnt orange. Since then, cakes have morphed beyond internal innovations (wild blueberry or rose and pepper creme filling, anyone?) into frank works of performance art (or even publicity stunts) which might involve Manolo Blahnik sugar shoes, or $20 million worth of diamonds in the icing.
But the art installation cakes of society brides aren’t the only changes afoot. Last year saw more brides ditch the cake entirely in favor of cupcake trees, Krispy Kreme doughnuts or favorite pies (such as lemon meringue or key lime). And while many already consider cupcake trees trés passé, some brides are mounting a counterculture attack by picking up simple spice cakes from the local baker on the way to the wedding and sliding them onto do-it-yourself cake trays.
The Ritual Toss. Couples, or perhaps more accurately, brides, are feeling freer than ever to shake off unappealing traditions. Disgusted by the garter toss? Dump it. Cringe at the thought of the dollar dance? No problem. Find the bouquet toss strangely anachronistic? Omit it outright, or get one of those bouquets that come apart in midair so that 10 or more guests can share in your nuptial good luck.
Variable Vows. Vows used to be a pretty straightforward deal, and everyone knew the lines:
I promise, with God’s help, to be your faithful wife, to love and obey you as Christ commands, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, as long as we both shall live.
Of course, obey was one of the first things to go, but personalization has gone much further. It’s been a force to reckon with for the past 20 years, says Santa Barbara officiant Charles Laird, but particularly so for the last 10. And while it’s rare for couples to actually pen their own vows from scratch, he adds, picking and choosing among the many online alternatives has become commonplace … with couples splicing and dicing from very formal vows, “theme” vows (think Elizabethan or Elvis vows or even LEGO vows), and everything in between.
Absolutely, couples are personalizing, agrees Rochester minister Jack Porcello, who estimates about 70% of the couples he marries picks and chooses assertively when it comes to vows. But it wasn’t so in the nineties, he adds, when vows tended to be ultra-traditional … and short, too, just like the vows people were seeing on TV in the form of Princess Di’s royal wedding, all those soap opera nuptials and other celebrity affairs.
Supersize Me. More weddings are turning into weekend-long affairs, or at minimum stretching late into the night with raucous afterparties, complete with their own drinks and eats. Often for the bride, this involves a quick-change from the bulky veil and train-bedecked dress into a sassy yet bridal party frock and foot-friendy dancing shoes.
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