Most
destination brides probably have that moment on the plane. They've lifted off, they're seeing the clouds scroll by below, and they think:
I can't believe this is really happening.
Because the island wedding is several epic fantasies all wrapped up into one potent package: a return to the Garden of Eden, and the let-down-your-hair factor of a really great honeymoon (no waiting required).
Not to mention that indescribable feeling of having your core posse dip their toes into the sands of some exotic shoreline, watching you exchange vows by the ocean. Put it all together, and it feels like a dream.
Getting on Island Time
Pulling off an island wedding's a little easier if you're one of those brides who can just breathe deep and let it go when the situation demands.
After all, when your wedding's in your hometown, you can obsess over each and every detail, and put together a guest list that you'd barely cram in Westminster Abbey ... which, hey!, gives you even more chances to obsess.
But a destination wedding's different. Cake or caterer tastings are probably out of the question, unless you can spare the time and kala to hop a plane ahead of time. Will your airline manage to score you the coveted first-class closet when you lug your dress on board? No way to know for sure until you get there (though, do call ahead and request it). Can your resort steam and press your finery when you finally unload your bags? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. You might have time to trial hair and makeup with the recommended vendor ... or maybe not.
Still, as long as you picked a jewel of a coordinator ahead of time, most of these things should go smooth as silk. The bad news: there's no way to know if that together-sounding pro on the other end of the line can make your day unroll as it should, except to talk to other brides who've already worked with him or her. The good: it's easy to get experienced, first-person recommendations on destination wedding forums or TheKnot.
The Cake — Take it Easy, Mon
Cakes can of course be very big productions, but not usually in island weddings. What you normally see is a pretty simple cake, often bright-
white and covered in gorgeous, fresh flowers. And this makes sense, since the cake usually braves the stress of the outdoors, isn't feeding a bazillion people, and can't compete with all that incredible natural drama anyway. So do have fun with the fillings (lilikoi or passionfruit, anyone?), but don't stress the cake.
The Power of Flowers
The flowers are a slightly bigger deal. You won't typically be micro-managing the ballroom, the linens, the dimmer settings on the non-existent chandeliers, but what will put your personal stamp on the wedding is the flowers. You'll want all that exotic island ambiance to show up in the arch, the bouquets, the blossoms in your hair.
Popular choices include cymbidium orchids in pink or chartreuse, birds of paradise and plumeria, anthuriums and frangipani, heliconia and fiddleheads. Ribbon bouquet wraps with the ends trimmed long and dangly offer a chance to inject yet more color.
Snapshots in Time
When people see your wedding album, it won't be an ordinary experience. They'll be reliving any moments they might have spent in paradise. After five minutes flipping through, they'll mentally be planning their next escape to the islands. The photos will be inspirational, technicolor, and defy description, at least if you have a competent photographer.
For some brides, capturing this day on film (or a memory card) is so important that, rather than leave it to chance, they'll import a known photographer from the mainland. This might be a splurge ... but it's probably a better splurge than buying an extra airline seat for your dress.
Here Comes the Bride
One thing about island destinations: they're warm. Hey, even brides in flurry-ridden New York
winter weddings remark on how toasty they are once they squeeze into that getup. Don't give yourself heatstroke by buying a heavy dress, and for the love of all things rum, skip the petticoats. Dupioni silk's a beautifully cool fabric, though it lends itself to body-conscious looks. See Justina McCaffrey and Maggie Sottero for some lovely destination designs.
On the other hand, budget-minded brides have found great deals ordering bridesmaids dresses in white. Not only do they tend to come much cheaper, some brides find their relative simplicity just perfect. Try Watters & Watters, Jim Hjelm or even Vera Wang bridesmaids styles ... in some cases, you can order a small train to bump up the formal factor. (You might want to avoid telling the sales clerk that you're buying these as a wedding dress, though.)
And for more bargains, don't forget to check out J. Crew.
Finally, just because you have a sleek, chic dress doesn't mean you can't go all out in with a romantic, floor-length veil. Skip that stiff tulle, but super-light materials like silk chiffon will let your veil float in the breeze.
'Maids in the Shade
Bridesmaids are where your color scheme comes alive. The bridal world's brightest palettes show up here: orchids' pinks and chartreuse, the aubergine of asian lilies and the interiors of shells, plumeria's cheerful
yellow, the aquas and corals of the tropics that haunt our dreams.
Destination brides can be creative in sourcing their bridesmaids' gowns. While David's Bridal isn't out of the question, you also see a fair number of dresses picked from Nordstrom or Banana Republic, with a little more detail and kickiness than the average gown. The must-have accessory? Matching sterling silver starfish necklaces.
GQ Goes Hawaiian
Grooms can be all over the map, depending on how they feel about formal occasions. At their most casual: mandarin-collar shirts, linen pants and bare feet. Other grooms aren't comfortable donning anything less than the classic tux. Somewhere in the middle: dinner jackets in a no-fuss shade like tan.
Your Personal Paradise
You won't always have a lot of time to decorate the venue (or crew to have it done), but a few simple touches can make the event reflect your individuality even more.
Examples: tiki torches look even extra-festive when decked out with starfish and long, organza bows.
Wedding leis in white orchids (for the girls) and ti leaves (for the guys) are a great way to honor the couple, the wedding party or the parents.
Intimate music brings a lot to the night, even if it's only a few songs. Look into a harpist or local guitarist.
Spoil your guests with thoughtful beat-the-heat touches like hand fans in silk or palm leaves, paper parasols, sunscreen and personalized water.
One Last Thought on Making it Perfect
Some couples find their wedding ceremony goes like this: the weather is irreproachable. The guest list: complete. The flowers: divine. The officiant: personal, witty and touching. And on and on.
Their only regret? The fact that secular ceremonies tend to go by at light speed. No one's suggesting you make your guests sit through the ceremonial equivalent of War and Peace — but you worked hard to get there, and the moment's probably going to be as perfect as you imagined.
Make a last a little longer, and say a little more. Have a relative share a reading or two that's close to your heart. Include a one or even a few unification ceremonies, to help symbolize the life you're making together. Don't let your "I dos" in paradise rush by in ten minutes, unless that's what you really wanted.
Share Your Tips
Tell us about your destination wedding finds and inspirations!
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April 9th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
I liked your article … just one note on the decor … actually you CAN have an amazingly decorated wedding in a tropical destination - you just might have to search for the right coordinator and/or designer. A beautiful, hand-detailed wedding in Mexico, while still not cheap, is A LOT more inexpensive than it would be if you were in the States. Also, I can’t vouch for all tropical destinations but here in Puerto Vallarta we have some amazing pastry chefs who can create amazing cakes for you for a fraction of what you would pay in the States for the same amount of detail. have a great wedding! warmest regards, mishka