There's no doubt that large venues and sweeping, catered halls
make an elegant spot for your wedding reception. But some brides
prefer a more intimate gathering, and envision an elegant but low-key
affair in their own backyard or the home of a close friend or relative.
A wedding held at a private home often has
a "certain something" that makes it even more lovely and
memorable than most. There are numerous advantages to holding
your wedding in a private home, including the freedom you'll enjoy
in decorating and catering, and the warm, casual atmosphere your
guests are sure to enjoy. Of course, there are downsides to the
wedding at home, too -- the strain placed on the homeowners, the
limited number of guests you can accommodate, and the likelihood
that the kitchen was never designed for caterers.
The freedom you enjoy when you host your
wedding in a private home is positively liberating. Whatever
you imagine for décor and food, you can probably have. In
contrast, many catering halls offer you several options when it
comes to china, linens, and decorations, but you often have a limited
choice of caterers and bakers, and are subject to numerous decorating
restrictions. Furthermore, the larger venues may not allow you to
provide your own alcohol, or if they do, may charge exorbitant corkage
and cake-cutting fees. Finally, while it's often easy to go along
with the prefab look and feel offered by the venue, you just don't
enjoy much creative room to move in your wedding.
In contrast, in a private home you're free to rent or buy any decorations,
china or linens you like, free to hire the caterer of your dreams,
or even free to prepare the food yourself. All this freedom lets
the wedding more closely reflects your individual personality --
the wedding can be as casual or formal as you like, and you can
go with any theme you can imagine.
The other key advantage to holding your wedding
in a private home is the casual, warm atmosphere it lends to the
occasion. Some people feel very uncomfortable in those stiff,
formal catering halls. What's more, they often feel the need to
dress beyond their comfort level for a catered event. While the
couple may still dress as formally as they please, guests are bound
to feel more relaxed at a wedding in a private home. And no matter
how formally your guests may dress, they're sure to relax and enjoy
the festivities more in the absence of a hovering wait staff and
starched-up overseers. Informal seating arrangements like couches
and loveseats will put them even more at their ease.
There's often one unforeseen disadvantage
to hosting your wedding in a private home, though, which
is this -- even though the homeowner probably agreed with enthusiasm
to host your wedding months ago, they may feel a little more pressure
as the date approaches. In fact, they may start to feel quite a
bit of stress when it comes time to prepare the home for your wedding.
Once the date becomes more of a reality, the owner may find themselves
feeling obligated to clean rigorously, upgrade their interior decoration,
or even improve their landscaping.
One thing that's sure to foster goodwill and reduce their stress
is to hire a cleaning service so your generous host won't feel they
have to go to heroic efforts. You'll also want to let them know
just how much you appreciate their generosity, making it even more
clear that you love their home just the way it is and don't need
them to go to any trouble.
Another disadvantage to the private home is that it's difficult
to include large numbers of guests. While it's true that most commercial
venues have their limits as well, most of them can seat far more
guests than even the most opulent home. If you have a large family
and many friends and want to have numerous guests, then hosting
your wedding in a private home simply may not be feasible. But if
you're inviting a more intimate number, then the private home may
work beautifully for you.
It's also true that the size of the home can limit your choice
of caterers. One with a small kitchen can seriously cramp the style
of a caterer who typically prepares all the food on-site.
Despite these possible wrinkles, holding a wedding in a private
home is often a wonderful experience. Typically, this style of wedding
works best with a relatively small number of guests, but it also
opens the door to endless possibilities when it comes to decorations
and themes. One final note -- if your generous host is a tad neurotic
about cleaning, or your heart is set on a large number of guests,
you'll probably want to look hard at a more commercial type of venue.
