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The Traditional Greek Wedding: A Guide

The traditional wedding service in the Greek Orthodox faith is an ancient and gorgeous ceremony that's continued unchanged for centuries.

It's also a ceremony full of symbolism. And it amounts to a great experience if you've never attended one before, because it's likely to be quite different from other weddings you've been to.

Many people find the service itself rather unique. The bride and groom don't make vows to each other — it's understood that standing together in the church shows they're serious about getting married.

How it All Begins ... In most cases, the wedding guests wait with the groom outside the church until the bride arrives (a few sneaky wedding pros will go into the church early to secure a good seat). In summer, when most weddings take place, it's not unusual for ceremonies to be scheduled back to back. So the wedding guests will often hang around with those who've just attended the previous wedding as they prepare to leave. The crowd's professional wedding commentators will get to talk over at least two and maybe even three brides as they leave the church (bargain)!

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Meanwhile, the nervous groom waits for the bride at the entrance to the church, often holding her bouquet. He hands it to her as they meet. Then they stroll inside together, followed by the guests. There's no dividing guests into those "for the bride" or "for the groom" — everyone sits together, and in the case of small churches, many people actually prefer to stand somewhere that offers a great view of the proceedings.


The traditional Greek wedding of supermodel Kylie Bax to her husband Spiros Poros on the island of Delos, Greece (08-18-05)

Service of Betrothal. The wedding ceremony itself takes place in two parts: the Service of Betrothal, and the Ceremony of the Sacrament of Marriage. The Service of Betrothal focuses on the ring exchange. The priest blesses the rings by holding them in his right hand, and makes the sign of the cross over the the bride's and groom's heads. He then places the rings on the third fingers of their right hands.

The "Koumbaro," the couple's religious sponsor, then swaps the rings three times between the bride and groom's fingers. A number of rituals in the ceremony are repeated three times, which symbolizes the Holy Trinity.

Ceremony of the Sacrament of Marriage. This Ceremony consists of several key parts. First, the priest leads several prayers. Then, as they come to an end, he joins the right hands of the bride and groom. Their hands remain joined until the wedding ceremony ends, which symbolizes their union.

The Crowning. The bride and groom are crowned with flowered crowns, or "stefana", which are joined by a white ribbon and have been blessed by the priest. The crowns symbolize the glory and honor bestowed on them by God, and the the ribbon signifies the couple's unity. The "Koumbaro" then exchanges the crowns three times between the couple's heads.

The Common Cup. The priest follows the crowning with a Gospel reading, which tells of the marriage of Cana at Galilee. It was at this wedding that Jesus performed his first miracle, changing water into wine and offering the result to the married couple. Repeating this ritual, the priest gives wine to the couple. They each drink from the cup three times.

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The Ceremonial Walk. The priest now leads the stafana-crowned couple three times around the altar, which amounts to their first steps as a married couple. The "Koumbaro" follows close behind, holding the stefana place.

At this point the couple (and anyone standing nearby) is usually pelted with rice, which ushers handed out earlier to the guests. The rice throwing can get pretty wild — and it's not unusual to catch the priest warding off the rice assault with his Bible.

The Removal of the Crowns. When the Ceremonial Walk ends, the priest then blesses the couple, removes the crowns and separates their previously-joined hands with the Bible, reminding them that only God can break the union they've just entered into.

Wedding Traditions and Where They're Headed. Much of the information available on Greek Orthodox wedding traditions is slightly outdated, and sometimes gives the impression that every Greek couple who marries still follows them. Some of these waning traditions include:

- Rolling a baby on the marital bed to encourage fertility.

- Throwing money onto the marital bed.

- Pinning money on the bride (and sometimes the groom) at the wedding reception.

Although these rituals are seen as traditional, fewer and fewer young people are adopting them — they seem rather old-fashioned, just as the Dollar Dance seems somewhat outdated to some American brides.

After all, many couples don't want to put their guests through the ordeal of having a monetary gift put on public display. Although money's still a very common (as well as practical and appreciated) wedding present, guests often give it to the couple ahead of time, or hand it to someone like the best man at the reception for safekeeping.

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Greeks living in the more remote parts of Greece and abroad, who often feel more strongly about doing things the traditional way, are more likely to follow these traditions than a young couple living in Athens. Still, like weddings everywhere, Greek weddings are changing. At the time of this writing, there's a growing fashion to go and get married on an island, and I recently heard someone say that he was looking into getting married in a ski resort.

Not everyone is leaping head first into nontraditional weddings, however. As his friend wisely pointed out, "You'd better first ask the priest if he wants to perform a marriage up a mountain!"

Emmanuel Mendonca moved from London to Athens in 2004 and is getting to grips with life in Greece. Emmanuel publishes Greece travel and living articles at http://www.athensroom.com/greece_travel_guide.html

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32 Comments in 11 Threads.  Add a New Comment »

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Genevieve
wrote
on October 21st, 2009 at 9:33 am
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Hi Everyone,
I am marrying my Greek fiance on Naxos June 2010.
We are going to be married in the Catholic Cathedral there as I am catholic.
I was wondering if anyone has the Catholic wedding service in both Greek and English?
Best wishes,
Genevieve

Ams
wrote
on October 23rd, 2009 at 6:14 pm
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Hi Genevieve, I am hoping to get married on the islands next year too and someone suggested Naxos. Please can you tell me where the Catholic Cathedral is? Also any advise on where to start looking for the reception venue and guest accommodation would be amazing. My fiance’s famly are Greek too, but I am struggling to find the right information and want to make sure everyone has a lovely holiday as well as enjoying the wedding day.
Hope your plans are going well! Ams

 
 
Lisa
wrote
on August 17th, 2009 at 10:07 am

I saw the movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” and I was disappointed that the ceremony wasn’t bilingual - there was also NO English translation at the bottom of the screen!

I’m Jewish and our ceremonies are BOTH in Hebrew and English.

 
Bobbie
wrote
on July 10th, 2009 at 4:47 am
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I am getting married in Greece myself on 8/8/10. My fiance’s family is from there and we want to do it as traditional as possible. We are getting married in the same church and on the same date as his parents. We have been together for 10 years so we want it to be very traditional. If anyone has any suggestions or can think of something I shouldn’t forget let me know. Thank you!

Alexi Mavrellis
wrote
on August 23rd, 2009 at 1:56 pm
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Bobby,

Have you ever been to Greece in August? All I can say is it will be extremely hot, muggy, and uncomfortable. Wear the lightest dress you can find and try to do it as early or as late in the day as possible (for you and your guests sake)

All the best

 
 
hayley palmer
wrote
on June 21st, 2009 at 8:03 am
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Hi there, im getting married in Cyprus very soon, and am having an anglican service in an orthodox chapel. lHowever we are both Church of england but would like to include some greek wedding traditions, but nothing that the vicar would think is weird. I just thought it would be nice to bring in a bit of greek. Can anyone help. Thanks ;)

stacey
wrote
on June 21st, 2009 at 4:03 pm
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hayley,
i would find out what is acceptable in the orthodox church. here is some customs…
*Greek Wedding Customs
*Traditional Greek Wedding
*Mara & Randy: A Glamorous Greek Wedding in Toledo

tradition state greek brides carried bouquets of herbs to ward off evil spirits. and the florals were usually all white.
*Greek Weddings

 
 
Pauline
wrote
on May 26th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
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Can anyone tell me what tree shrub or bush a mother in law by tradition bought her Greek daughter in law for prosperity and children
Pauline

stacey
wrote
on May 26th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
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pauline, are you referring to the flamboro? it is a tree branch ending in 5 twigs.
*How to Have a Traditional Greek Wedding
*greek wedding resources

 
 
martha
wrote
on January 29th, 2009 at 6:32 am

Greek Orthodox (or indeed any eastern orthodox marriages) cannot take place outdoors. The marriage ceremony must take place within a sanctified church in front of the alter. Also there are no female priests. The wedding featured above is not a traditional wedding, it is probably a legal wedding officiated by a the appropriate representative of the state.

Ange
wrote
on May 8th, 2009 at 9:42 am
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a greek wedding doesn’t need to take place inside a sanctified place-that is left to the discretion of the priest. i got married in a greek village by the sea.
ange

 
 
stacey
wrote
on October 19th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
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Here’s a great thread on greek orthodox weddings from a multicultural point of view:

Greek Wedding Traditions (by Mrs. Pearl) at Wedding Bee

 
Michelle
wrote
on October 19th, 2008 at 8:58 pm

anyone find the greek wedding ceremony in english?

Dawn P.
wrote
on October 19th, 2008 at 10:47 pm

Michelle, check out Kali’s link below, to St. Paul’s church. it seems to have the whole thing in English, in PDF files … check the home page.

Michelle
wrote
on October 20th, 2008 at 7:56 pm

Great! Thanks so much.

Michelle
wrote
on October 20th, 2008 at 8:09 pm

Has anyone seen a wedding ceremony outline online that incorporates a traditional Christian ceremony with elemants of the Greek Orthodox ceremony?

(Comments won't nest below this level)
stacey
wrote
on October 20th, 2008 at 11:11 pm
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michelle,

i am gonna keep looking but i havent found anything. you may have to get a christian and a greek officiant. i am sorry i couldnt be more help. i would talk to someone who can help like a greek officiant if possible, or someone who does interfaith ceremonies. google search christian wedding outline and then the greek one, maybe you can take elements from both to make your own. i think i am having alot of trouble cause i read greek do not say vows? maybe blake will see this one and have more ideas. good luck!!

 
oh please!
wrote
on October 21st, 2008 at 12:18 am

Please stacey… christian vs greek? I hope you know that Greek Orthodox are Christian! Also, vows are for contracts, “I promise to…” as in the western Roman Catholic and Protestant traditions. This is not what the Orthodox service is about. You can’t mix the great mystical significance of the Orthodox Christian sacrament of Holy Matrimony (where man and women come as equals to be joined to Christ and to one another) with a contract (where the woman is given away as chattel!) If you want a western Christian wedding, then have a non-Orthodox minister perform it and then do ethnic Greek things at your reception.

 
stacey
wrote
on October 21st, 2008 at 9:37 am
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“Oh please!” - I apologize if i misunderstood. i did know greek was christian but wasnt sure about mixing the two. thought you may need 2 officients since michelle needed an outline. ?!? :( didn’t mean to offend.

 
Michelle108
wrote
on October 21st, 2008 at 12:03 pm

I don’t think you need to apologize Stacey…you knew exactly what I was asking. We both know Greek Orthodox is Christian. I thank you for your reply and appreciate your efforts in helping me find a mixed ceremony outline. My Father is Greek Orthodox and my Mother is Catholic. I was raise Catholic however since I have so many family members from each religion I was hoping to mix the two services in order to make everyone feel part of our special day. And that’s exactly it…it’s our special day we can do with it what we please. I’ve found a Reverend who is more then happy to perform our ceremony. I in no way feel like cattle being given away. I am proud to have my Father escort me down the aisle and it’s something I know many women envision on their perfect day. Our vows aren’t a corporate contract being entered into but rather a declaration of our Love for each other and our vow of commitment to one another in front of God and our Friends and Family. Regardless of the religion, wedding ceremonies within a church typically have many of the same ideals and values.
Thanks again for your help Stacey.

 
stacey
wrote
on October 21st, 2008 at 1:24 pm
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thank you michelle, i really appreciate your comment. i will keep searching and if i cant find anything i still wish you a very happy blessed wedding and wonderful life together and memories to build on. the best of luck!!

 
stacey
wrote
on October 21st, 2008 at 2:18 pm
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MICHELLE, found a wedding on youtube. the song/wedding is pretty. it may not help, but thought you might want to watch it. enjoy!!

i really dont see an outline anywhere, it would be nice to incorporate traditions of course, but wording ask the officient to have traditional wedding vows. and follow the greek traditions on how and when to place the ring, have the prayers, and the other greek elements. this is going to be just beautiful!! maybe you could have your own outline?!? i really think this would work!! i love this by the way. cause the video i watched is just touching!! this webpage has the traditions provided now here’s the traditional ceremony….

* A Christian Wedding Ceremony: Marriage Service: Traditional

i would print the article on this page out, and put in things i wanted and taken out etc. and give a copy to the officiant. come rehearsal work out the kinks into a wedding ceremony, into a blended ceremony i feel you and your family will love!! i think you might be the first bride to do this dont know?!?! exciting huh? this will make the ceremony a bit longer. and maybe your outline will be able to help a future bride in same dilemma. i sure hope you like this idea. make it uniquely yours! but i would find out which elements i had to keep for a legal ceremony.

* A Wedding That Embraces Greek Traditions

* Greek Weddings on YouTube

 
stacey
wrote
on October 21st, 2008 at 2:27 pm
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michelle, the link got lost in the words…this one is the traditional one, the upper link is the greek.

* Marriage Service (Christian/Western): Traditional

 
Michelle108
wrote
on October 22nd, 2008 at 8:10 am

Stacey,

Thank you so much for all of your help…I really appreciate it. The ceremony on you tube was beautiful. =)

 
 
 
 
 
Michele Walsh
wrote
on September 8th, 2008 at 10:26 am
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What are the do’s and don’t’s of attire for the church ceremony? For example, are women required to wear a head covering? No bare arms?
Thanks for your help.

 
wrote
on January 29th, 2008 at 9:58 am

Hi,
I am currently writing a blog about Greek Wedding traditions and i found your site to be very helpful!

As you said, many of the younger generations are not continuing with the old traditions and customs however i believe that (in Australia) this is because they don’t really understand them.

I have collected a lot of little observations, photos and helpful hints about Greek weddings. They are all on my blog: Greek Weddings and Traditions

Thanks for the advice … and the links in these comments.

Sia.

 
Clare G
wrote
on February 4th, 2007 at 11:06 am
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I would like to get the words in English & Greek for the Gospel Reading of the marriage of Cana at Galilee?? any one help here?

lilly Y
wrote
on March 26th, 2007 at 12:37 pm
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Iwpuld also like the english translation of the Greek Orthodox ceremony., and any information on having the Greek ceremony performed outside of the traditional church setting.

 
Eirini
wrote
on April 15th, 2007 at 10:57 am
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I too would like to get the words in English & Greek for the Gospel Reading of the marriage of Cana at Galilee and the whole ceremony if possible.

 
wrote
on April 16th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
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Hope you enjoy it.

Aris
wrote
on April 16th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
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Sorry here is the link:
ΜΕΓΑΛΥΝΘΗΤΙ, ΝΥΜΦΙΕ…

 
 
wrote
on July 14th, 2007 at 8:05 pm
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The entire Sacrament of Matrimony is online at the website of St. Paul’s Greek Orthodox Church in Irvine, CA

 
 
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