Planning Your Non-Denominational or Mixed Religion Wedding
Couples of mixed religions, or the many who come out of families without strong religious backgrounds, sometimes find it easiest to hold either a non-denominational wedding, or one that blends two unrelated religions.
The second route can be tricky, though, because many religions simply won't honor a wedding that doesn't conform to their own strict guidelines. For that reason, you'll want to run your plans by potential officiants and church leaders to make sure that any blended wedding can be recognized by both faiths. Needless to say, the average couple won't want to invest the substantial time and money a wedding involves on a ceremony that ends up not being recognized by their respective churches.
Whether a couple decides to stay non-denominational, blend two religions into a ceremony of great personal meaning that may not be recognized by either faith, or even hold two separate religious ceremonies, it's important to remember their love for each other is just as important as their love of their faith.
If faith plays a very strong role in their lives, and the couple wishes to have their wedding recognized by both their churches, they'll probably need to take a few extra steps. In fact, sometimes the only way to make this happen is to hold two ceremonies, one in each church. This may seem a bit extreme. But for many religions, the definition of a wedding within their faith is a wedding that takes place within their walls. It's simply not possible to do this for two religions unless the couple is willing to go to the time and trouble of two separate ceremonies.
An alternative, albeit also extreme to some, is to have a nondenominational wedding that only the government will recognize. This is a popular option for couples that simply don't have the time or the budget for two separate ceremonies. Although this choice removes several obstacles, it can also be a painful compromise when neither church recognizes the union. In this case, the couple often feels their love for each other fully sanctifies the marriage and the approval of their churches is not necessary.
Still another alternative is to hold a nondenominational wedding outside the church walls -- for example, in a beautiful backyard or a park. With this type of ceremony, the couple has no restrictions and can weave either religion into the ceremony in any way they wish. Still, the traditional prayers and religious hymns are perfectly at home in a nondenominational ceremony. Although the church won't recognize this type of wedding, the couple is still free to incorporate the customs and observances from their faiths into a beautiful ceremony that honors both religions.
A final option is to let one faith fully dominate the wedding ceremony and the other, the reception. One happy result is that this allows at least one of the religions to recognize the marriage, while the customs and heritage of the other family is well-represented throughout the reception, hopefully staving off any feeling of neglect. Still, this option will only work if the bridal member whose religion won't be recognized is completely accepting and understanding of that fact. The importance of genuine acceptance can't be overstated, because if a couple paves over any hard feelings, the jealousy and resentment could cause them problems for years.
The number of interfaith couples is clearly on the rise. Years ago, it seemed unheard of to marry outside of your faith, but things have changed, and many of today's couples are interfaith. Although it's often tricky, it's usually possible to blend the two faiths in a way that satisfies all parties. The only drawback is the forementioned issue, that many churches won't choose to recognize a blended wedding. More and more, today's couples decide that their mutual happiness carries more weight than a recognized union, and sometimes they even opt for a ceremony that's totally devoid of religious observances.
I am Catholic, not really very religious but my family are very and i feel to honnor them i must have an element of catholism within the ceremony, my problem is that I live in a village and the church is idilic i have dreamt of getting married there since a teen. my fiance is Church of England same as the church and wants also to marry in the village church. Is there anyway we can have both a priest and a Vicar to undertake the ceremony bless us etc taking elements from both ceremonies. how would i go about discussing that with my local catholic Priest ????? or is it just a no no ????
My finace and I are planning on getting married in the next year or so. However we have ran into a re-occuring problem. I’m Catholic and so is my whole entire family, his family is Baptist, and his grandfather is a minister. Here lies the problem, my family is stuck in their ways and wont let us get married in a Baptist church and his family wont come if it is in a Catholic church. We decided on non denominational but we both feel akward and not right doing it. We are lost and don’t know what to do.
Erin,
i would just look for a venue utside of the church. why not have 2 officients? one catholic and the other baptist. this would be the best route to go unless he converts, which takes certain counseling by the preist before you canget married. why not find a place outdoors etc. here are some links you might be interested in reading…
*baptist/catholic wedding
erin,
you have to do what is right for you. i can understand the issues with family involved but this about your future with the person you want to marry. either way you decide to go, even if it is a destination wedding ( for example). you will be marrying before the eyes of God.
My boyfrind and I have decided that marriage is a definite for us. He’s a muslim and I was brought up a Christian. He is very liberal and not very traditional in his beliefs but he still wants to observe his traditions for our wedding. We are considering a dual ceremony that will incorporate both faiths but I am unsure about how this is done. He is buying me a ring and he is going to wear a ring and all that but how do we go about a non denomintional ceremony? Do we have both a christian and a muslim minister present so that both faiths are recognized?? I am confused and frustrated!! HELLP!!
I dont know how that worked for u, but in Islam u can marry him and stay Christian, but u cannot marry in the church as he will need a baptism certificate. Tough situation. My husband is a Muslim, we married in Sharia law in his country, but the ceremony will be back home, in a garden with no priest. I will have only the civil marriage certificate. The problem is getting bigger when kids come and u have to explain that. Still try to keep religion in ur heart and not in ur discussions. Thats diplomatic, I think. Good luck to u!
My boyfriend comes from a Catholic familly and though he is not very religious he would like us to mary in a Catholic church as per his parent wishes. Whereas I am very spiritual and consider myself a Christian, i prefere not to associate my beliefs to any denomination for now, maybe for ever. My mother is from a Methodist background. Any idea how we may have a church, bearing in mind I would not consider converting to Catholism.
Me and my fiance had the same problem. They said to get married in my fiances catholic church I had to promiss to raise our kids when we had them. I couldn’t so we are getting married in a chappel by a non denominational pastor we both know.
Robert,
Was the case just that you could not get married inside a Catholic Church or that the Catholic church would not recognize/validate your marriage unless you promised to do so? My fiance is Catholic and I am not and i do not want to promise that either, i would like my children to experience both and let them decide for themselves when they are old enough which faith they would like to follow. I would appreciate any more detailed info you have on that. Thanks!!
Well, my fiance wants a nondenominational wedding, and I’m an atheist, so..the religion being involved isn’t an issue to me at all. I just have no idea how to plan a wedding! Geeze.