Couples of mixed religions, or the many who come out of families
without strong religious backgrounds, sometimes find it easiest
to hold either a non-denominational wedding, or one that blends
two unrelated religions.
The second route can be tricky, though, because many religions
simply won't honor a wedding that doesn't conform to their own strict
guidelines. For that reason, you'll want to run your plans by potential
officiants and church leaders to make sure that any blended wedding
can be recognized by both faiths. Needless to say, the average couple
won't want to invest the substantial time and money a wedding involves
on a ceremony that ends up not being recognized by their respective
churches.
Whether a couple decides to stay non-denominational, blend two
religions into a ceremony of great personal meaning that may not
be recognized by either faith, or even hold two separate religious
ceremonies, it's important to remember their love for each other
is just as important as their love of their faith.
If faith plays a very strong role in their
lives, and the couple wishes to have their wedding recognized by
both their churches, they'll probably need to take a few extra steps.
In fact, sometimes the only way to make this happen is to hold two
ceremonies, one in each church. This may seem a bit extreme. But
for many religions, the definition of a wedding within their faith
is a wedding that takes place within their walls. It's simply not
possible to do this for two religions unless the couple is willing
to go to the time and trouble of two separate ceremonies.
An alternative, albeit also extreme to some,
is to have a nondenominational wedding that only the government
will recognize. This is a popular option for couples that
simply don't have the time or the budget for two separate ceremonies.
Although this choice removes several obstacles, it can also be a
painful compromise when neither church recognizes the union. In
this case, the couple often feels their love for each other fully
sanctifies the marriage and the approval of their churches is not
necessary.
Still another alternative is to hold a nondenominational
wedding outside the church walls -- for example, in a beautiful
backyard or a park. With this type of ceremony, the couple has no
restrictions and can weave either religion into the ceremony in
any way they wish. Still, the traditional prayers and religious
hymns are perfectly at home in a nondenominational ceremony. Although
the church won't recognize this type of wedding, the couple is still
free to incorporate the customs and observances from their faiths
into a beautiful ceremony that honors both religions.
A final option is to let one faith fully
dominate the wedding ceremony and the other, the reception.
One happy result is that this allows at least one of the religions
to recognize the marriage, while the customs and heritage of the
other family is well-represented throughout the reception, hopefully
staving off any feeling of neglect. Still, this option will only
work if the bridal member whose religion won't be recognized is
completely accepting and understanding of that fact. The importance
of genuine acceptance can't be overstated, because if a couple paves
over any hard feelings, the jealousy and resentment could cause
them problems for years.
The number of interfaith couples is clearly on the rise. Years
ago, it seemed unheard of to marry outside of your faith, but things
have changed, and many of today's couples are interfaith. Although
it's often tricky, it's usually possible to blend the two faiths
in a way that satisfies all parties. The only drawback is the forementioned
issue, that many churches won't choose to recognize a blended wedding.
More and more, today's couples decide that their mutual happiness
carries more weight than a recognized union, and sometimes they
even opt for a ceremony that's totally devoid of religious observances.
My finace and I are planning on getting married in the next year or so. However we have ran into a re-occuring problem. I’m Catholic and so is my whole entire family, his family is Baptist, and his grandfather is a minister. Here lies the problem, my family is stuck in their ways and wont let us get married in a Baptist church and his family wont come if it is in a Catholic church. We decided on non denominational but we both feel akward and not right doing it. We are lost and don’t know what to do.
Erin,
i would just look for a venue utside of the church. why not have 2 officients? one catholic and the other baptist. this would be the best route to go unless he converts, which takes certain counseling by the preist before you canget married. why not find a place outdoors etc. here are some links you might be interested in reading…
*baptist/catholic wedding
erin,
you have to do what is right for you. i can understand the issues with family involved but this about your future with the person you want to marry. either way you decide to go, even if it is a destination wedding ( for example). you will be marrying before the eyes of God.
My boyfrind and I have decided that marriage is a definite for us. He’s a muslim and I was brought up a Christian. He is very liberal and not very traditional in his beliefs but he still wants to observe his traditions for our wedding. We are considering a dual ceremony that will incorporate both faiths but I am unsure about how this is done. He is buying me a ring and he is going to wear a ring and all that but how do we go about a non denomintional ceremony? Do we have both a christian and a muslim minister present so that both faiths are recognized?? I am confused and frustrated!! HELLP!!
My boyfriend comes from a Catholic familly and though he is not very religious he would like us to mary in a Catholic church as per his parent wishes. Whereas I am very spiritual and consider myself a Christian, i prefere not to associate my beliefs to any denomination for now, maybe for ever. My mother is from a Methodist background. Any idea how we may have a church, bearing in mind I would not consider converting to Catholism.
Me and my fiance had the same problem. They said to get married in my fiances catholic church I had to promiss to raise our kids when we had them. I couldn’t so we are getting married in a chappel by a non denominational pastor we both know.
Well, my fiance wants a nondenominational wedding, and I’m an atheist, so..the religion being involved isn’t an issue to me at all. I just have no idea how to plan a wedding! Geeze.