What’s Required for Your Catholic Wedding

In many cases -- at least in this country -- a marriage can be recognized both by church and state. While the state sets the legal requirements for the wedding, a church sets additional standards and requirements for the marriage to be recognized as sacred.

In Catholicism, marriage constitutes one of the sacraments of faith. Consequently, the Catholic Church has its own nonnegotiable requirements for a marriage that's recognized in the eyes of the church.

Interestingly enough, location constitutes one of the most important elements of the Catholic wedding. Although outdoor weddings are increasingly popular, they simply can't be recognized by the Catholic Church. The reason is, Catholicism holds that the purpose of the wedding ceremony is to seek God's blessing and presence in your marriage, and to do that, the wedding must take place within sacred walls. It's easy to see how Catholicism would have drawn a clear line between Catholic weddings and more pagan affairs long ago, using these guidelines. An outdoor wedding will be perfectly legal, but not recognized by any Catholic Church.

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Despite these strictures, the Catholic wedding doesn't require a Mass to be part of the ceremony. A union performed in a church by Catholic priest, whether or not it features a full Mass, will still be completely recognized. Still, many couples opt for the full Mass, both for the additional blessings received during the ceremony, and the chance to include family and friends in a fuller expression of their faith.

A wedding including a full Mass can last slightly over an hour, while a wedding without one may last only about 20 minutes -- a period that can simply feel too short. The shorter version will include readings, psalms, hymns, and blessings from the priest, but not a celebration of the Eucharist.

Another unique aspect of the Catholic wedding is how former marriages must be annulled before the couple can marry within the church. Even if the previous marriage didn't qualify to be recognized by the church, an annulment is still required before the current one can take place. A legal divorce decree doesn't suffice here. Instead, the formerly married bride or groom will need to seek an annulment through the church asserting that the previous marriage was invalid. The time for processing an annulment varies, but most are completed within 16 months at a cost of about $500. (It's important to mention that annulments are in no way guaranteed, but are merely considered.)

Music in a Catholic wedding is also a matter of deep tradition. While religious music is naturally preferred, many churches nonetheless will consider secular music, so long as the priest is willing to approve it before the wedding. While time has given us many sublime musical choices, only some of them religious, it's important to remember that priests are understandably hesitant to play secular music within God's domain. The average priest will be more than careful to ensure that any secular music you suggest will be totally appropriate and incapable of offending any guests. If you want the smoothest sailing, you may want to avoid asking for secular music in your Catholic wedding.

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An additional requirement of the Catholic Church is that couples attend premarital counseling sessions, sometimes referred to as Pre-Cana. Most couples find Pre-Cana quite worthwhile. It gives them a forum for talking about and even resolving potentially serious issues before the wedding takes place. This time-honored tradition goes a long way toward ensuring that the couple's a good match, with a good chance at a lasting union. Sessions are usually hosted and moderated by a priest, and sometimes include young married couples who can testify to both the bitter and sweet of marriage. Pre-Cana sessions can be either individual or group-based. They may involve weeks or months of sessions, or simply one intensive weekend.

It may surprise you to learn that both members of a couple don't have to be Catholic for their wedding to be recognized by the Catholic Church. It is required, though, that at least one member be Catholic and active in the church. The non-Catholic party is still required to participate in Pre-Cana counseling, and both parties, whether Catholic or not, need to have prior marriages annulled before they can marry in the church.

To sum up, in order for a marriage to be recognized within the Catholic Church you'll need to meet certain requirements, including location, musical traditions, annulments of prior marriages, sanctioned premarital counseling sessions, and a level of activity and good standing within the church.

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17 Comments

  1. Lindsay Says:

    Is it true that you cannot get married in the Catholic Church if you live with your fiance prior to marriage? My fiance and I both have a child, and it makes sense for us to live together now that we are engaged, for our family’s sake, but I was told that you cannot have a Catholic wedding if you live together.

  2. Holly Says:

    Jess- The Catholic Church does require that you take a vow to lovingly accept children AND bring them up in the Catholic church. All the blessings and graces of the church will be a wonderful help in the beautiful challenge of children.

    Michele- I am not sure about this one, but it doesn’t sound like something the Church would do because it would be fraudulent to accept aid that would stop when you get married. More importantly, Trust in God’s will. If this man is not financially able to take care of you and your son without the aid, then you need to consider if God is truly placing that in your life because he would not want to lead you into wrong. Ultimately it is important to focus on what is best for your son.

  3. Michele Says:

    Do you know if it is possible to get married in a Catholic church without a
    marriage license. In other words to have a religious marriage without
    a legally binding marriage? I am a 48 year old Catholic widow. My husband passed away 3 years ago and I am receiving a government pension and health benefits as a survivor benefit. If I legally marry, I will lose these benefits. I found a minister willing to marry us in his church in a religious ceremony, however, I do not believe that the Catholic Church would allow this. I would love to be married in a Catholic church now, but I’m afraid to ask this question to a priest. I can legally marry after age 55, and I intend to do it in the Catholic church at that time. However, I would really love to do it now without losing a substantial part of my income and health benefits for me and my son.

  4. Dawn P. Says:

    Hmm, this is kind of a new one for me. :-?

    The priest and church has a lot of discretion about what they will and won’t allow. For example, it’s not uncommon for a Catholic priest to nix a wedding with a pregnant bride (though not all of them will!)

    But since this is your wife, we’re talking a Matron of Honor instead of a Maid. Of course, it’s entirely ‘appropriate’ for her to be pregnant, so it’s hard to know what the priest might be objecting to.

    Is it possible there was a miscommunication, and he believes your wife is actually unmarried (a “Maid”?) That would make more sense.

    Anyone else run into this situation?

  5. Branden Heidenreich Says:

    I have a question. My wife was supposed to be the maid of honor in her best friends wedding. It is a catholic wedding, her friend said that she cannot be the maid of honor anymore because she is pregnant. She also said that was the church’s decision. Is that something the church can say as to who can be the maid of honor even if they are pregnant.

  6. Rachael Says:

    Im finace is catholic and has been baptized,but, i have not been baptized nor am i catholic. And family is catholic and i would really love to be married in a Catholic church. Is there a requirement by the state or the church in order for us to be married in the Catholic church?

  7. LeAnn Says:

    I am Catholic, but my finace isn’t… he has also never been baptized in any church. Is there a requirement that states that he must be baptized in order for us to be married in the Catholic church?

  8. Jess Says:

    I am planning to marry a non-Catholic in a Catholic ceremony. Will they refuse to marry you if you are not sure if you will raise your future children as Catholics? My fiancee is Lutheran and we know we want to have kids, but he said he doesn’t know if he wants to raise them Catholic. We just want to raise them to have faith.

  9. jenny Says:

    Megan,
    My husband and I did the same thing before we both got deployed to Iraq. We got married in a courthouse and then 3 yrs later got married in the catholic church. You do not have to get it annuled and the catholic church doesnt see this as a bad thing. Make sure you tell them WHy you got married by the courthouse.

  10. monica Says:

    when do you usually do the father daughter dance

  11. Megan Says:

    My boyfriend is a Marine and lives in NC. If we were to go to a courthouse and get married before he goes to Iraq and then when he gets back get married in a Catholic Church will the Church allow this? Is this something that can happen?

  12. Troy Says:

    There is a new certificate required by the Catholic church to show that you have never been married before. The Catholic churchis aware of these certificates. I am Ukrainian Greed Orthodox, and I am wondering if the UGO church has some kind of certificate specifically for this or would I use the Catholic certificate signed by my priest?

  13. Michelle Says:

    Ok, here is the deal. I was married 18 years. I’m Catholic, X isn’t. We had a cermony on our 5th wedding aniversary. No music, no classes. Just 15 minutes of I do. I want to re-marry in the Chruch. Do I need an annulment?

  14. barbie Says:

    OK, so do I have to get an annulment for a marriage performed at a clerk of courts between a Catholic and a non-Catholic Christian with only the clerk present and no other witnesses? I was not Catholic at the time, my ex was and now I have become Catholic. I do want to remarry in the Church.

  15. Tamie Says:

    Hey Tayla: No, annulments are only for marriages had through the church.

  16. Tayla Says:

    Just a quick question… What if both parties had children from previous relationships but were never married legally or through the church? Would they still need to be nulled? Also, if an ex of one of the parties had already passed away, what then?

  17. Sabrina Brocke Says:

    In your Catholic section, you might want to add that in the Catholic Church, marriage is intended to be permanent, exclusive, and open to procreation. If either party is seriously holding back on the commitment of one-man-one-woman-til-death, and OK with having kids, then —priest or no priest— that couple’s wedding is “null” — they’re not married in the eyes of the church.

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