What’s Required for Your Catholic Wedding
In many cases — at least in this country — a marriage can be recognized both by church and state. While the state sets the legal requirements for the wedding, a church sets additional standards and requirements for the marriage to be recognized as sacred.
In Catholicism, marriage constitutes one of the sacraments of faith. Consequently, the Catholic Church has its own nonnegotiable requirements for a marriage that's recognized in the eyes of the church.
Venue Constrictions
Interestingly enough, location constitutes one of the most important elements of the Catholic wedding. Although outdoor weddings are increasingly popular, they simply can't be recognized by the Catholic Church. The reason is, Catholicism holds that the purpose of the wedding ceremony is to seek God's blessing and presence in your marriage, and to do that, the wedding must take place within sacred walls. It's easy to see how Catholicism would have drawn a clear line between Catholic weddings and more pagan affairs long ago, using these guidelines. An outdoor wedding will be perfectly legal, but not recognized by any Catholic Church.
Mass Not Required
Despite these strictures, the Catholic wedding doesn't require a Mass to be part of the ceremony. A union performed in a church by Catholic priest, whether or not it features a full Mass, will still be completely recognized. Still, many couples opt for the full Mass, both for the additional blessings received during the ceremony, and the chance to include family and friends in a fuller expression of their faith.
A wedding including a full Mass can last slightly over an hour, while a wedding without one may last only about 20 minutes — a period that can simply feel too short. The shorter version will include readings, psalms, hymns, and blessings from the priest, but not a celebration of the Eucharist.
Previous Marriages
Another unique aspect of the Catholic wedding is how former marriages must be annulled before the couple can marry within the church. Even if the previous marriage didn't qualify to be recognized by the church, an annulment is still required before the current one can take place. A legal divorce decree doesn't suffice here. Instead, the formerly married bride or groom will need to seek an annulment through the church asserting that the previous marriage was invalid. The time for processing an annulment varies, but most are completed within 16 months at a cost of about $500. (It's important to mention that annulments are in no way guaranteed, but are merely considered.)
Musical Choices
Music in a Catholic wedding is also a matter of deep tradition. While religious music is naturally preferred, many churches nonetheless will consider secular music, so long as the priest is willing to approve it before the wedding. While time has given us many sublime musical choices, only some of them religious, it's important to remember that priests are understandably hesitant to play secular music within God's domain. The average priest will be more than careful to ensure that any secular music you suggest will be totally appropriate and incapable of offending any guests. If you want the smoothest sailing, you may want to avoid asking for secular music in your Catholic wedding.
Premarital Counseling
An additional requirement of the Catholic Church is that couples attend premarital counseling sessions, sometimes referred to as Pre-Cana. Most couples find Pre-Cana quite worthwhile. It gives them a forum for talking about and even resolving potentially serious issues before the wedding takes place. This time-honored tradition goes a long way toward ensuring that the couple's a good match, with a good chance at a lasting union. Sessions are usually hosted and moderated by a priest, and sometimes include young married couples who can testify to both the bitter and sweet of marriage. Pre-Cana sessions can be either individual or group-based. They may involve weeks or months of sessions, or simply one intensive weekend.
Individual Requirements
It may surprise you to learn that both members of a couple don't have to be Catholic for their wedding to be recognized by the Catholic Church. It is required, though, that at least one member be Catholic and active in the church. The non-Catholic party is still required to participate in Pre-Cana counseling, and both parties, whether Catholic or not, need to have prior marriages annulled before they can marry in the church.
To sum up, in order for a marriage to be recognized within the Catholic Church you'll need to meet certain requirements, including location, musical traditions, annulments of prior marriages, sanctioned premarital counseling sessions, and a level of activity and good standing within the church.
my cousin is getting married and she wants a catholic wedding. she wants to have more than one maid of honor. is that ok for a catholic wedding??
Mary, the Rite of Marriage doesn’t say anything about the maid of honor — it’s considered a local custom. The only requiremdent along those lines is that there be two witnesses — no gender specified. So it should be ok. However, her parish will have the final word, so she should check with them . . . but I can’t imagine why they would object.
I have been with my fiance for several years and we are finally getting married in about 4 months. I just found out that I am pregnant and will definitely be showing by then. Will the church still marry us if we tell them about the pregnancy? Should i tell them right away in case we need to change plans?
You should tell your priest (or whoever at the parish is coordinating the wedding) right away. You will still be able to be married, because pregnancy (even out of wedlock) is not an impediment to marriage. If you have a good pastor, he (or the staff at your parish) will want to help you out with this situation.
Good luck!
I’m wanting to get married next year in the catholic church. I wanted my soon to be husbands children to be my maid of honer and his best maid. Problem is they’ll be 13 when we marry. Is there an age requirement? I am aware that a witness who signs the marraige certificate has to be 18, but can’t anyone do that?
I’m wanting to get married next year in the catholic church. I wanted my soon to be husbands children to be my maid of honor and his best man. Problem is they’ll be 13 when we marry. Is there an age requirement? I am aware that a witness who signs the marraige certificate has to be 18, but can’t anyone do that?
Cynthia,
you would need to find out from where you are marrying, if there are any age requirements.
my boyfriend and i want to marry by church we’ve known each other for 5 years we are both catholics, baptised, and he did his holy communion and i haven’t can we still marry through church or do i have to do mine
there is no reason you can’t get married it depends on your church. some have classes that last about 1 year and at the end you get the sacrament you are missing. I suggest to talk to your priest. Confirmation is one thing but they want you to at least have your first communion. Good luck!!!
i’m 68yrs old was baptized in 1942, communion etc.,etc.today the parish priest stated i needed a NEW certificate of the sacraments in order to get married in church…………IS THIS TRUE? if so, why new ones?????????????????
I think what he meant was to go to your church where you took the sacraments and get recently issued copies. They should have the records.
I am wondering…my significan other and I have been together 11 years now.We have 2 children and would like to be married through the church.He has not recieved his confirmation and I have.Will the priest allow us to be married?
yes, just speak to him. we are in the similar situation. we are preparing to get married and my significant other does not have his confirmation. it depends on the priest whether they make him take the classes to be confirmed or let you get married without him being confirmed. set an appointment with your priest and he will tell you where to go from there.
Can you get married in the Catholic Church within a couple of months, my finance and I went throught the pre cana classes but we couldn’t get married at the time, something usually comes up. WE are getting married this time I just heard that you have to wait a year now to get married in the Catholic church and we have been going out forever, for a very long time, more than 10 close to 11 years. If we get married outside of the church in a civil ceremony, how long do we have to wait to get it blessed by the church, and what do we ask for?
You can get married as soon as they have a date at the church available and you go through Engaged Encounter or Pre-Cana classes. You just have to talk to the priest at your church and he will tell you everything you need to make it happen.
just a quick question.
can I do the sacrament at church
and do the wedding ceremony later to have a garden wedding?
it’s been my dream!!!
Columba, you can’t be married twice — once you’re married, you’re really married, so you can’t have a second wedding. (The same would be true of a civil wedding — the justice of the peace wouldn’t marry you twice.) However, there is nothing to stop you from having a “wedding ceremony” — some kind of ritual — outdoors, either before or after the wedding. If you are engaged, for example, you could have a blessing of your engagement outdoors. Or you could have the wedding in the church, then have the reception outdoors. Or exchange personalized “vows” or gifts at an outdoor ceremony following the wedding. You can find out more at Catholic Wedding Help.
Columba – not true – you can have a civil ceremony and later have a blessing ceremony in the church. Also you can petition the diocese for approval and blessing of your marriage outside of the church which would make it valid in the church’s eyes. My husband and I were married in a civil ceremony about 4 years ago and now are having our marriage blessed by the church – it is called a convalidation ceremony – Many Blessings for your marriage!
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This web site will help all of you with your Catholic wedding questions. I hope this will help!
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My fiance and I have been living together and have 2 children together. Neither of us has ever been married before and have no children outside of our relationship. We were both raised Catholic and we both have been baptized but never made our confirmation. Is it possible for us to get married in a Catholic church even though we already have children together?
Alexandra, Yes it is still possible for you to get married in a Catholic church. My sister and her now husband got married in a church and they had a child together prior. So dont worry!
My Fiance and i are both catholic, both babtised and both have recieved the sacraments of communion, but i have not had my Confirmation, though he has. is That a Problem?
My fiance and I would like our english staffordshire terrier to be ring bearer at our wedding. Is this permitted in a Catholic Church?
Is it true that you cannot get married in the Catholic Church if you live with your fiance prior to marriage? My fiance and I both have a child, and it makes sense for us to live together now that we are engaged, for our family’s sake, but I was told that you cannot have a Catholic wedding if you live together.
you can have a church wedding even if you are living together already…. the priest will be very happy for that because you finally made up your mind to settle down and make your together a blessed one.
No, thats not true because I am in the same situation as you, and really what the church wants you to do is get married.
These comments are correct — the Church’s official guidelines say that you can’t be denied the sacrament of marriage unless there is a serious impediment (something that makes it impossible for you to be married), and living together by itself doesn’t create that kind of problem.
Every marriage that you need a divorce for needs an annullment. If you are a widow then an annullment is not required. I was married in Vegas and never consumated the marriage–I need an annullment. Every marriage needs to be annulled. Sorry, but this one is biblical, Jesus was very much against divorce. Some annullments are a quicker process (like mine, according to my pastor).
Jess- The Catholic Church does require that you take a vow to lovingly accept children AND bring them up in the Catholic church. All the blessings and graces of the church will be a wonderful help in the beautiful challenge of children.
Michele- I am not sure about this one, but it doesn’t sound like something the Church would do because it would be fraudulent to accept aid that would stop when you get married. More importantly, Trust in God’s will. If this man is not financially able to take care of you and your son without the aid, then you need to consider if God is truly placing that in your life because he would not want to lead you into wrong. Ultimately it is important to focus on what is best for your son.
Do you know if it is possible to get married in a Catholic church without a
marriage license. In other words to have a religious marriage without
a legally binding marriage? I am a 48 year old Catholic widow. My husband passed away 3 years ago and I am receiving a government pension and health benefits as a survivor benefit. If I legally marry, I will lose these benefits. I found a minister willing to marry us in his church in a religious ceremony, however, I do not believe that the Catholic Church would allow this. I would love to be married in a Catholic church now, but I’m afraid to ask this question to a priest. I can legally marry after age 55, and I intend to do it in the Catholic church at that time. However, I would really love to do it now without losing a substantial part of my income and health benefits for me and my son.
Hmm, this is kind of a new one for me. :-?
The priest and church has a lot of discretion about what they will and won’t allow. For example, it’s not uncommon for a Catholic priest to nix a wedding with a pregnant bride (though not all of them will!)
But since this is your wife, we’re talking a Matron of Honor instead of a Maid. Of course, it’s entirely ‘appropriate’ for her to be pregnant, so it’s hard to know what the priest might be objecting to.
Is it possible there was a miscommunication, and he believes your wife is actually unmarried (a “Maid”?) That would make more sense.
Anyone else run into this situation?
I have a question. My wife was supposed to be the maid of honor in her best friends wedding. It is a catholic wedding, her friend said that she cannot be the maid of honor anymore because she is pregnant. She also said that was the church’s decision. Is that something the church can say as to who can be the maid of honor even if they are pregnant.
Im finace is catholic and has been baptized,but, i have not been baptized nor am i catholic. And family is catholic and i would really love to be married in a Catholic church. Is there a requirement by the state or the church in order for us to be married in the Catholic church?
I am Catholic, but my finace isn’t… he has also never been baptized in any church. Is there a requirement that states that he must be baptized in order for us to be married in the Catholic church?
I am planning to marry a non-Catholic in a Catholic ceremony. Will they refuse to marry you if you are not sure if you will raise your future children as Catholics? My fiancee is Lutheran and we know we want to have kids, but he said he doesn’t know if he wants to raise them Catholic. We just want to raise them to have faith.
Megan,
My husband and I did the same thing before we both got deployed to Iraq. We got married in a courthouse and then 3 yrs later got married in the catholic church. You do not have to get it annuled and the catholic church doesnt see this as a bad thing. Make sure you tell them WHy you got married by the courthouse.
when do you usually do the father daughter dance
My boyfriend is a Marine and lives in NC. If we were to go to a courthouse and get married before he goes to Iraq and then when he gets back get married in a Catholic Church will the Church allow this? Is this something that can happen?
There is a new certificate required by the Catholic church to show that you have never been married before. The Catholic churchis aware of these certificates. I am Ukrainian Greed Orthodox, and I am wondering if the UGO church has some kind of certificate specifically for this or would I use the Catholic certificate signed by my priest?
Ok, here is the deal. I was married 18 years. I’m Catholic, X isn’t. We had a cermony on our 5th wedding aniversary. No music, no classes. Just 15 minutes of I do. I want to re-marry in the Chruch. Do I need an annulment?
OK, so do I have to get an annulment for a marriage performed at a clerk of courts between a Catholic and a non-Catholic Christian with only the clerk present and no other witnesses? I was not Catholic at the time, my ex was and now I have become Catholic. I do want to remarry in the Church.
You do need to get the anulment but the church does not recognize a courthouse wedding so the cost is really low and it only takes about a month. talk to your pastor they will have all of the paperwork.
Hey Tayla: No, annulments are only for marriages had through the church.
Just a quick question… What if both parties had children from previous relationships but were never married legally or through the church? Would they still need to be nulled? Also, if an ex of one of the parties had already passed away, what then?
In your Catholic section, you might want to add that in the Catholic Church, marriage is intended to be permanent, exclusive, and open to procreation. If either party is seriously holding back on the commitment of one-man-one-woman-til-death, and OK with having kids, then —priest or no priest— that couple’s wedding is “null” — they’re not married in the eyes of the church.