What’s Required for Your Catholic Wedding
In many cases — at least in this country — a marriage can be recognized both by church and state. While the state sets the legal requirements for the wedding, a church sets additional standards and requirements for the marriage to be recognized as sacred.
In Catholicism, marriage constitutes one of the sacraments of faith. Consequently, the Catholic Church has its own nonnegotiable requirements for a marriage that's recognized in the eyes of the church.
Venue Constrictions
Interestingly enough, location constitutes one of the most important elements of the Catholic wedding. Although outdoor weddings are increasingly popular, they simply can't be recognized by the Catholic Church. The reason is, Catholicism holds that the purpose of the wedding ceremony is to seek God's blessing and presence in your marriage, and to do that, the wedding must take place within sacred walls. It's easy to see how Catholicism would have drawn a clear line between Catholic weddings and more pagan affairs long ago, using these guidelines. An outdoor wedding will be perfectly legal, but not recognized by any Catholic Church.
Mass Not Required
Despite these strictures, the Catholic wedding doesn't require a Mass to be part of the ceremony. A union performed in a church by Catholic priest, whether or not it features a full Mass, will still be completely recognized. Still, many couples opt for the full Mass, both for the additional blessings received during the ceremony, and the chance to include family and friends in a fuller expression of their faith.
A wedding including a full Mass can last slightly over an hour, while a wedding without one may last only about 20 minutes — a period that can simply feel too short. The shorter version will include readings, psalms, hymns, and blessings from the priest, but not a celebration of the Eucharist.
Previous Marriages
Another unique aspect of the Catholic wedding is how former marriages must be annulled before the couple can marry within the church. Even if the previous marriage didn't qualify to be recognized by the church, an annulment is still required before the current one can take place. A legal divorce decree doesn't suffice here. Instead, the formerly married bride or groom will need to seek an annulment through the church asserting that the previous marriage was invalid. The time for processing an annulment varies, but most are completed within 16 months at a cost of about $500. (It's important to mention that annulments are in no way guaranteed, but are merely considered.)
Musical Choices
Music in a Catholic wedding is also a matter of deep tradition. While religious music is naturally preferred, many churches nonetheless will consider secular music, so long as the priest is willing to approve it before the wedding. While time has given us many sublime musical choices, only some of them religious, it's important to remember that priests are understandably hesitant to play secular music within God's domain. The average priest will be more than careful to ensure that any secular music you suggest will be totally appropriate and incapable of offending any guests. If you want the smoothest sailing, you may want to avoid asking for secular music in your Catholic wedding.
Premarital Counseling
An additional requirement of the Catholic Church is that couples attend premarital counseling sessions, sometimes referred to as Pre-Cana. Most couples find Pre-Cana quite worthwhile. It gives them a forum for talking about and even resolving potentially serious issues before the wedding takes place. This time-honored tradition goes a long way toward ensuring that the couple's a good match, with a good chance at a lasting union. Sessions are usually hosted and moderated by a priest, and sometimes include young married couples who can testify to both the bitter and sweet of marriage. Pre-Cana sessions can be either individual or group-based. They may involve weeks or months of sessions, or simply one intensive weekend.
Individual Requirements
It may surprise you to learn that both members of a couple don't have to be Catholic for their wedding to be recognized by the Catholic Church. It is required, though, that at least one member be Catholic and active in the church. The non-Catholic party is still required to participate in Pre-Cana counseling, and both parties, whether Catholic or not, need to have prior marriages annulled before they can marry in the church.
To sum up, in order for a marriage to be recognized within the Catholic Church you'll need to meet certain requirements, including location, musical traditions, annulments of prior marriages, sanctioned premarital counseling sessions, and a level of activity and good standing within the church.
We are planning to get marry in a Roman Catholic Church! My future wife is Mexican and I am Canadian! We are both Roman Catholic!
My future wife is 40 years old and I am 68 years old! My future wife never got married in a Roman Catholic Church and I have been married twice in a Roman Catholic Church but my two wives died of lung cancer!
Now, my question is: Considering our age, can we be exempted from the Pre-Cana courses?
And if not, how long would the Pre-Cana courses be? We are planning to get marry at Easter which will be April 8, 2012!
I really need your help on this very delicate issue!!!
Jean Duguay
Jean,
Try this
I know that may not answer your question, you will need to contact the church where you are marrying. Each church does Pre-Cana different.
Hi Jean-everyone is required to take the course. You can find a course that is a whole weekend or one day. The one we took was just one day. Not sure if it varies from diocese to diocese. But we are in California.
I forgot to mention that we want to get marry in Mexico!
Now,I am not sure that because we get marry in Mexico, we might be exempted of taking the Pre-Cana courses!
Jean Duguay
Even if your wedding is in Mexico you still need to take the Pre-Cana courses. So either you do it where you live or you do it in Mexico, but it is a requirement you might not be able to get away from.
My Fiancee and I are both catholic.I’m here in the Philippines right now and he is at the U.S.and in our documents we need to get married within 90 days.I have a problem about the Pre-Cana class because according to his mom it will take 6 months to have pre-cana.is there another way to shorten it?because here in the Philippines it is a seminar for couple who are getting married and it is only good for 2-3 days seminar…
does anyone know whis needed for a catholic wedding as far as the rings and the other items
marlene,
* see this
You will need to consult with the priest to see what is allowed/accepted.
Usually a church coordinator is assigned to you and will go over what you need to bring. Typically couples need to bring a unity candle and if you are giving a rose or bouquet to the Blessed Mother then you would arrange that with the florist. If it’s a Philipino wedding then there are other items that are part of the ceremony
My fiance and I are catholic, he has been married before, is it possible to get married in the Catholic Church and not have a mass?
Sue,
You do have this option. Talk to the priest about the subject to follow up with the planning.
Dian,
Can take from 1-6 weeks. It varies for each church. My friend got married years ago and her classes were 6 weeks, one night a week.
When I got married it was one day of classes.
hi,
i would like to know what are the requirements for a garden wedding.
is it the same as the reqmnts for a church wedding.
pls advise, as we are planning to get married by early next year.
thnk you so much.
beverly
I am going to be a maid of honor next year at my cousin’s wedding. I will be sixteen, and I will not be confirmed in the Catholic faith. Can I still be a maid of honor?
Yes, you can still be a maid of honor. However, it’s possible that you will not be able to serve as a legal witness to the marriage; check with your pastor. If not, then another person can serve as the legal witness. The Catholic Rite of Marriage and Catholic law say nothing about the “maid of honor,” though — it’s a local custom — so there should be no problem.
I’m getting married next summer and want my wedding in the catholic church. I’v recieved all my sacraments but my soon to be husband does not want to become catholic. I know we can still be married as long as we take the required classes with the priest. My question is I’m a member of the church in my home town where my parents live and not where I moved for school, I do not want the wedding in my home town is it a problem to have a Catholic church in my school town do the wedding?
I have a question,does anyone know if you can be married through the Catholic Church Religiously without having to be married legally….I owe a lot of money for Child Support and dont want to jeopordize that debt on my soon to be husband.
Hi Liz:
In the USA you have to be legally married first by the state you live in or be married by a service like out in Vegas et. No Catholic priest will marry you. It’s against the law. But, You can go to Mexico and be married by a Catholic priest. The marriage won’t be recognized in the USA as law but if your just looking to be married in the eys of God. There ya go.
But I must say. You owe money for back support and that is money by law due towars child support? Better take care of that anyway becasue your new husbands going to feel that burden if the law comes for you anyway. Go get straight with the courts first. Even if you have to review the matter and get on some payment program becasue the matters not going away.
i was baptised methodist and my fiance was baptised catholic. i really like to be married in the local catholic church, but my fiance no longer wants to be married in the church. he and i would dream of a beach wedding, but i don’t know how the weather will be. i really like the father at my fiances church. so my question is since his parents are active catholics, can he still marry us on the beach? we don’t have time for the 6 months of counseling and thats the main reason we are getting married on the beach. we work and he has two children. i am a nursing student and very busy. we know the importance of marriage counseling but we have no time.
Myself and my partner are getting married next year, I am Catholic but my partner is Church of England. We are starting our marriage ;esson in our local Parish in London but are actually marrying in a Catholic Church in Hampshire (home of my partner). Do we need to register the marriage beforehand, I keep hearing that you have to register the marriage first in the civil way….does the Priest not submit our intention to marry or do we have to do this?
Thanks
Is it still a requeiment to be confirmed in order to be married within the church? I’ve looked on a few other sites and have not found anything. Both my finace and I are Catholic, only he has been confirmed and I have not. If anyone can let me know, this will be a big help! Thank you!
Hi Bridget,
The short answer is, yes, you do need to be Confirmed before you can be married in the Church. Canon 1065 says: “Catholics who have not yet received the sacrament of confirmation are to receive it before they are admitted to marriage if it can be done without grave inconvenience.”
The long answer is . . . this is one of those questions that is best discussed with your pastor (or whoever is marrying you). The pastor responsible for the wedding has some discretion in these matters, and would probably want to discuss this with you, especially if you have strong objections to being Confirmed.
My fiance and I wsh to be marry by catholic church.Do we need to attend the pre-cana classes or can the priest allowed us to get marry without this document. The reason for not obtaining the pre-cana section is because we both work crazy hours and the time is not there to attend these classes, Is this a mandatory request by the catholic church We never been married this is our first time and we are both catholic and our wedding is in about a month from now,
The Church does require some form of marriage preparation, Marylyn; what form that takes is up to your pastor (or the bishop). Your pastor might allow you to be married without any marriage preparation, but he’d be ignoring the requirement set out by the Church.
You should try to do some form of marriage preparation; more than 90 percent of couples who go through it say it helped them in their first year of marriage, and couples who have good marriage preparation are more likely to succeed in the first years of marriage. It’s probably the most important thing you can do to prepare for your wedding, because you’re investing in your relationship.
Good luck!