Plan the Perfect Military Wedding
The day's finally arrived. After all these years waiting for the right one, you've finally find that special someone. Soon a marriage proposal comes your way, one that's sure to change life forever.
Finally, you've got the chance to plan the wedding you've dreamed about since childhood. And all your plans start falling in place, almost like magic — when suddenly something comes up to change the tune. Your soon-to-be spouse learns they're about to be deployed overseas.
All your hopes and dreams for happiness seem lost ... at least for now. You still long to marry — but there's so much to do, and so many unique circumstances that other couples don't face! From finding a chaplain to paying those amped-up fees involved in a rush wedding, your task list can seem even more daunting than the average bride's.
True, it's not like you're the only one to face this. Others, too, have lived the military life from day one, and were so proud to play a role that they enlisted as adults. If you're one of those who grew up in the military, shifting from base to base and city to city, you probably long for a military wedding that embodies all the traditions and pride you've cherished all your life.
Yet, as you know, there are plenty of rules and regulations when it comes to doing things military style — even for weddings. And staying within the guidelines can be overwhelming. As a bride, you need answers on how to do it — and those answers won't be found in the pages of all those bridal magazines or bridal books. But take heart!
It goes without saying: there are vast differences between a civilian and a military wedding. In the the latter case, the ceremony may take place at the base/post chapel. Your officiant will be a military chaplain. The Arch of Sabers or Swords (depending on the branch of service) is used. And you'll need to pay special attention to the special formalities involved with invitations and seating arrangements.
To help make your military wedding planning a little smoother, try these tips:
#1 - Buy Wedding Insurance
Even if the couple chooses not to have the traditional Military Wedding, insurance (unless they are having a quick, simple civil ceremony at the courthouse) will save headaches and cover the loss of deposits or money due to changes or cancellations. When you marry into the military, never-ending shifts in deployment dates — quick deployments, delayed deployments, and extended deployments — are common. It's best to plan ahead and be safe.Take this example: The date's been set for a year out. You paid the deposits, and prepared the invitations (whew!). Then a set of orders shows up for the bride or groom that read, "Report to your duty station 19 May 2012. " Unfortunately, the wedding date was set for 25 May 2012! You now have to change everything ... and even re-order those invitations.
Unless you're working with extremely military-friendly vendors, there's a real risk of losing hefty deposits. Insurance is your best bet for safeguarding against this.
#2 - Learn the Lingo
For a new bride who's marrying into the service, there's a whole new lingo to learn. For starters, you'll need to get acquainted with the formalities of the Arch ... but do the groomsmen raise Swords, or is it Sabers?Here's your answer: Sabers are used for Air Force and Army. Swords are used for Coast Guard, Marine Corps and Navy. The National Guard and Reserve go by the same etiquette and regulations of their service branch (i.e. Army National Guard, Air National Guard, Naval Reserve, etc). Also, although most military personnel won't own a Sword or Saber, they can contact the Chaplain — who'll normally have these on hand for your use, or if not, the Commander will.
There are plenty of other terms you'll want to become familiar with and knowledgeable about, but don't worry ... as time goes on, the language will become second nature.
#3 - "Can We Skip the Bride's Ceremonial 'Swat' With the Sword?"
For tradition's sake, you're better off leaving it in. After all ... wasn't it the tradition that drew you to the idea of a full military wedding in the first place? It's best to only omit this step if the bride's the service member.If you're not familiar with "the Swat," here's how it works: When the groomsmen assemble after the vows, the bride and groom then pass through the Arch of Saber or Swords (this symbolizes the military's welcome, and the couple's safe transition into their new life together). The couple pauses as the last two men lower their sabers or swords in front of the bride and groom. Then, the man to the right will then lightly "swat" the bride on the rear and say "Welcome to the Army" (or name the appropriate branch of service).
#4 - Know the Seating Etiquette
It's important to know the proper seating arrangements for guests — not to mention, where the bride and groom should stand, including who stands on which side. The standing arrangement is determined by whether the service member is an officer, or enlisted.A guest list will have Commanders, other Officers within the unit, and peers. It's important to know the proper seating for all your guests ... and also for the receiving line. Everyone associated with a service member (i.e. their Commanders, Officers and peers within the unit or office) should be invited to the wedding.
When seating the groom or bride's Commander and spouse, seat them with the family of the bride or groom, whichever group they represent. Commanders are usually seated in the front row when the bride or groom's parents can't attend. Seat all other higher-ranking Officers directly behind the family of either the bride or groom.
My fiance and I are planning to be married in late june or july 2012, everything is very rushed due to special surcumstances. He is currently in AIT but wants to have the wedding here at home before he is stationed..the only imput he cares to give is that he wants a full military wedding, and he likes teal. I am extremely new to everything military and was under the immpression that the only difference in a military and civillian wedding was that he would be wearing his dress blues. I found out today that is not the case at all, i have no idea where is even start. please help!
danielle,
Do you have your venue yet? If so could I see a link or pic? I can tell if the teal will work. What about your preferred colors? Any faves? Teal and Red looks really nice together.
http://www.stylemepretty.com/2008/11/21/real-wedding-by-boutwell-studios-iii/
Some tips…
Even more tips….
He said outside, thats wht i know..ive been looking at a few places but nothing solid yet. We are both from indiana so i was thinking maybe brown county, its so pretty in the woods or on the water. I really love a good shade of hot pink, but honestly none of it matters to me i just want to spend my life with this wonderful man, the wedding is for him (id be happy saying i do at the courthouse) Nevertheless i am trying to get everything pulled together and ready for when he gets his leave before being stationed. i guess we should probably pick a solid date..
danielle,
When you secure your venue let me know. Its always best to have the venue because picking colors prior may not always compliment the setting. I am looking forward to hearing from you!!
Hi, me and my partner are planning on getting married in 2012. He is a soldier been in the forces 3 years now and he will either be wearing his 1′s or 2′s, so either green or blue and red. The only problem is i really want the colour scheme to be Pink. Do you think i could some how work out the colour scheme to have pink and miliatory colours and it wouldnt look all mixed matched. Also i really need some help on ideas of centre pieces which incorporate the army, and the color scheme, i dont knw where to start with the details x
Michelle,
Do you have a venue link or pic I could see what works best? You could always go with navy and pink or green and pink.
Idea 1…
This is nice…
you might like this
Very pretty…
nice…
Searching for help. My daughter was scheduled to marry her fiance this June. The large deposit for a wedding venue was paid months ago and a few days ago my son-in-law received new orders and will not be able to get leave. The wedding venue is refusing to return any of our deposit, (almost 1/4 of our entire budget) Can anyone direct my daughter anywhere that we might seek some relief and get at least a portion of the deposit back?
Liz,
Depends on the signed contract, you will need to read yours carefully. Most venues have nonrefundable deposit or a portion returned if cancelled within a certain time frame. If you can give me the link to the venue site, I could go over it to see what it says. If it has any info on the site. When looking over the contract, it will usually be worded something like this: ‘Cancellations will be fully refunded with a minimum of 3 months notice and 50% refunded if under 3 months. No refunds will be given if notice is two weeks or less.
need some help! … I’m getting married with my marine on April 21st .. everything is super rushed because of his work but I want it at the camp pendleton just a civil ceremony , is there any way I can have my wedding reception and my ceremony there? Who I have to contact with?
thanks
I’m in need of some help! My Marine and I are getting married in October 2012. And I just need some help idea wise, like place settings, flowers and things of that nature. We are doing the traditional colors Scarlet and Gold. I just really need some ideas.
Brandi,
You might like this….
This is pretty…
Nice..
here is another…
You may like this…
Here is a board I had….
http://www.polyvore.com/romantic_red_gold/set?id=44157232
OH! I love this. It’s an awesome start! Thank-You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi my name is Bailee. My wedding will be in May 2012 at my grandparents lake house. My fiance is in the Coast Guard and will be wearing his uniform, which is mainly navy blue. My bridesmaid dresses are yellow (buttercup), but I can’t decide on another color that will go with navy and yellow. I LOVE bright colors, so I don’t want to match his navy uniform, but I don’t want to be tacky either. I have been thinking maybe a turquoise, fushia, really anything with some pop…any suggestions??
Bailee,
I think fuschia would be a good choice.
You might like to pair coral, yellow, pink, green in bouquets. Would look amazing next to yellow dresses.
And this
This would be perfect for a lakehouse wedding…
Part 2
Part 1
Look at the florals…
Thank you so much for your help!! I love that cedarwoods website! Very inspiring. And I think I have decided to go with a similar aqua/turquoise blue like in the “part 1″ link. And a bright colored bouquet for me. Thanks again!
I am getting married to my fiance in May 2012. We have alittle over 3 months to plan our wedding. He has the dress blues for the Army where the jacket and pants are two different color blues and im at a loss to match colors with him. I dont want red or another blue what can i do ???? help !!!!
Emily,
Could I see a venue pic or link? Also do you have any fave colors? The color scheme does not have to match his uniform, his uniform is meant to be honorary and should stand out. I would pick colors best for your setting.
i am having an outdoor ceremony by a lake with an indoor reception at an remodeled country store. my favorite color is lime green so im thinking maybe out my girls in lime with a blue sash?
Emily, I like the idea of the lime and blue. Do you have a link or pics, so I could see the reception area. I want to make sure the colors will work. Here are some great decor ideas….
Country wedding
Apple green
This is terrific….
( instead of a blue sash, why not add blue flowers among bouquets and wrap with blue ribbon)
Part 2
Love this, it is subtle greens, mixed with light touches of yellow thru the florals…
Cont:
This is very pretty…
Nice ..
I was looking at this site just to visualize how lime could look and I think it is just the color to add to a restored general store…
have you thought about yellow?
part 1( I love this look and think it would be perfect)
part 2
I hope these may help.
thank u for all the ideas it was a huge help.
I am getting married in November of 2012, my fiance is a Marine who served 91-95. I would like to have him wear his blues for the wedding. Two questions, one, he no longer fits his blues, is there anyway to get new fitted blues. Also, walking under the swords, where can I find military to do this?
Jamie,
I have seen that As long as he is active or retired he can wear his uniform but it also states other things like medals etc. There seems to be a bit of confusion on the matter. It appears inactive duty doesn’t have arch of swords. I am sorry I couldn’t be more help. I highly recommend calling the local recruiting office.
Try this …
Jaimie,
It depends on how much he can’t fit. If it’s a little tight, usually a tailor with experience in military uniforms (near a base) will be able to take some out. Or he could try to lose a few lbs to git in. If there isn’t enough slack, he may need to buy new blues, which I think goes for like $300 now). As far as the swords, a buddy of mine that did it, got a local reserve unit by contacting their S-3. Also, try the recruiter’s office
My husband and I are renewing our vows in November. My dad was in the army in the 60′s and 70′s. Can he wear the Class A uniform or is this against regulation? I have searched for information and have had no luck. Please Help!!!
Sandy,
I am thinking they have to be active or retired officers to still be able to wear uniform. But I will would call someone who may be able to better assist you, call someone at the branch of service he was in and see what they say.
hello,
my fiance and i are planning on getting married in oct 2012 (no set date because we don’t know when he will get deployed)
does anyone know how much it would cost to have the ceremony in the chapel on camp pendleton base and the reception on base (maybe on the beach)
we heard it should be of no charge, at least for the chapel. please help! -_- thank you!!!
our budget it 10k for 100 people.
-jm
Hey there everyone I could use some big time help… My name is Connor Elise but I go by Elise, and my fiance and I are wanting to married October 20, 2012 (he wants to finish school first) and he is in the Navy and I come from a military family but I want to have a Military wedding but i dont know how to do that cause want my dad to wear his Army uniform to walk me down the isle and I want my cousin to wear her Marine uniform so if oh and we are having it at Myrtle Beach SC (thats where we met) so anyway if yall could help me i would be truly greatful!!!
Elise,
Would love to help! Are you looking for a color scheme etc? If so if you could send me a venue link or pic, I could being on some ideas. Remember your colors do not have to match the uniforms, just go with what you love and make sure it compliments the setting.
* look at this
* another resource
* this should be helpful
My daughter is engaged to a newly enlisted Army man. Goes to basic training in Spring 2012. Then I’m told AIT with permanent order late Summer 2012. They’d like to marry Christmas 2012. When can he request leave? How far in advance will leave be approved or denied? Could he get leave between AIT & first post for wedding? Easier then or Christmas?
My advice would get married before he leaves for Basic/AIT as insurance benefits,spouse, seperation pay and housing pay add up to alot of money while he is compleating training also this would let them both fly military hops for free
aves
use the leave for a nice long honeymoon in Hawaii My wife and I went there twice a year free flight and the Hale Koa is pure luxary for under 100.00 bucks a night
I am retired after 22 years and I can tell you its a whole lot better to be married before he le
PS google the Hale Koa its a military resort right on wikiki beach
Ok, so im 21 and my boyfriend of 2 yrs is 20. Hes gonna be leaving in a few months for basic training [army. He proposed 2 weeks ago && every since then i cant stop talking about our wedding
we are planning on getting married right ater he gets outta basic, so we can have a full blown military wedding. hes gnna be wearing his CLASS A uniform, our colors are apple red & white. . . but i need help!! he wants me to have evrything planned out & ready when he gets back!!! 
where do i start? && we also want to have it in Myrtle Beach,SC on the beach during sunset. . . i dont even know if we can have a military wedding on a beach 
[will the military allow that?] someone please help me plz!
Thanx
Jennifer,
I have seen military beach weddings. You may want to check before beginning your planning. If yes, then you will need to obtain a permit, if required,to hold a wedding on Myrtle beach. Check with your local mayors office to find out requirements. You will also need to secure your reception venue.
* see this
* and this gerber daisy wedding
* feb 14th wedding
* more wedding ideas
Jennifer,
More pics…
I MISS MY BELOVED HE’S A MARINE. WERE GETTING MARRIED ON JAN 21, 2012. MY COLORS WILL BE NAVY BLUE AND WHITE. OMG I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT, HE COULD GET DEPLOYED BEFORE THE DATE :(…
I have 9months until the wedding and my fiance is a police officer and will wear is formal uniform which is my favourite color Navy Blue. How can I go about colors without losing my fav color and losing the honor of his uniform??
I personally chose colors that were in the same color spectrum.. my husband wore his army Blues which were also navy blue. So my girl’s dresses were royal blue and had golden yellow accents. It looked really good :)
Brides,
To excited to bring you a fantabulous photo shoot I found at style me pretty!! It is a red white and blue 40′s military style to-do!!
Check it out for all its awesomeness.
Here is a taste( posted pics) of the image gallery: Las Vegas Photo Shoot by A Milestone Paper Co. + Scheme Events for more check out the link. I would so plan this exact wedding if I was getting hitched military style.
Okay ladies…I have 433 days till my wedding. Plenty of time but I’m still going crazy about. My fiance is in the Army National Guard and wants to wear his CLASS A uniform. I want my wedding to be chocolate and burnt orange. I was thinking the bridesmaids dresses are burnt orange with a shash around the stomach chocolate. The groomsmen tux’s chocolate with burnt orange somewhere. And my dress tan. HE CAN’T WEAR THAT UNIFORM. It doesnt match. Please please please help me.
Mykiesha,
Actually it is recommended to not match the grooms uniform, it should stand out in an honorary way. Going with chocolate and orange, it will be fine.
* look at this
* this is nice
Hon, you need to understand somthing here. He married the army first. He’s proud of it, or he wouldn’t be in it. Its just as much his wedding as it is yours. This will be the first leson on give and take. You need to let him wear his Uniform. Be Proud of it. He may not be in the guard all his life, but for now he is. He earned the right to wear it, let him marry in it. My husband was in the Navy and I was proud to stand there with him in his uniform. It was who he was. and still is. after 27 years we are still proud to show off the picture with him in his uniform. Now our daughter is getting married, and she did a 4 year tour in the navy and got out. She wishes she could wear her’s. Her hubby to be was in the Marines and he wishes the same. Its a military thing, and you are soon to be a part of it. Remember its who they are. Be Proud of it, don’t hide it.
agreed priscilla!! i’m marrying my soldier in august.he is active army.i’m sure you are proud of your soldier.this will be a part of your life too.embrace it!i encouraged my fiancee to wear his dress blues.years down the road the chocolate and burnt orange won’t matter.stand proudly next to your man.
honey i had the same issue! but he ended up wanting to buy his ASU’s, which if you dont know that that is.. its the dress blues that they are phasing in, instead of Class A’s. he WANTED to wear them so we worked it into the budget to allow us to purchase them since they arent issued to the national guard yet. it is an option that you can see? although i was planning on navy blue and gold for my colors anyway so it all works in. i also made sure that any groomsmen or guests can wear their uniform as well.. so im going to have Asu’s, Class As, and im even having a marine uniform in my party.
i promise itll work out and be just fine :)
That is so good to hear Ashley! I have 2 sons active Army and the youngest is getting married in August. His brother is his best man and the bride didn’t want anyone wearing their uniform except the groom. How do you tell a proud soldier that he can’t wear his uniform? YOU DON”T! They earned the right to wear it. I think it will be wonderful to see both my boys in uniform for the wedding :-)
It turned out really great! My husband loved having all the guys in their uniforms as well and it brought about some awesome picture opportunities :) I’m so glad i did it :)
I need lot of help. I am 18 years old. And he is 24 years old, he has be in the army for 6 years now. I am getting married to my boyfriend of 6 weeks (I know that its little crazy) we want to get married on the 18th of June as He is in the special forces unit and can be deployed at any time. I love him but I have no idea how to plan a military wedding at all. He wants a full military wedding with his unit in the wedding. I know I want my colour to be gold and blue and I know that we will have it in a chapel on base but that’s all. So if you can give me some tips. Thanks
Sarah,
* some pics
* more pics
* links
Sarah,
* good site
thanks so much, the websites have really helped me
Hey I’m Ariel, and I’m engaged to a future Marine he is leaving for boot camp March 14th. Like Jamie we are young too but a little older. I’m 19 and he will be 20. Anyway we wanna get married after he gets stationed into fleet which we will be around September. And we most likely won’t have any help money wise. So we will have maybe 5K to spend. And we are looking at the Chapel for the ceremony. So can anyone help me on advice on permits for a beach or anyway to make his cheap wedding possible and our guest list is under 70. Please Please and Thank you!
Ariel,
Do you have your venue yet? If you are marrying on the beach that opens up alot of color and decor ideas for you. keeping your guest under 70 is a huge budget saver. Do you want it beach themed? You would need to call your local tourism office and find out the rules on obtaining a permit, if you need one. They can give you all the info you need. As long as you are not obstructing passerbys, then you may not need one. That is where I would begin my search. Also check with your local courthouse/mayors office. For decor, I recommend using flowers and limiting them to the bridal party and yourself. Keep those to a minimum. Use things to make it beach themed like palm leaves, and other beach elements even coral. Think out of the box for centerpieces. if you want more flowers use a single type in a single color and use it for high impact. billowy sheers provide serious imapct on a bamboo huppah, keeping the bridal party small will help cut costs. You coudl even have a hawaiian style theme, which are amazing! or use the honeymoon destiantion as your theme and decorate accordingly. Have bridal attire researable and simple like guys in white shirts, khaki pants, and flipflops, girls in dresses and flops. Keep it fun. I will begin searching for any more ideas and post them as I find them.
Ariel,
I have some boards you can look thru for ideas.
* here
* great little read, look what white linens and a single pop of color can do!!
No I dont have a venue. Me and my fiance are looking at doing the ceremony on Camp Pendleton base and doing it at the chapel on base for like 50-60 bucks. We wanted to do the reception on a beach. Just dont know how or how much itll cost. We were kinda looking at a retro theme but beach would be cute too. Well we were talking about maybe renting like a tent and doing it that way. Unless we can find a dirt cheap reception hall really close to Camp Pendelton Base. We have a very small budget like 5 K at the most. And we wanna have some military traditions in the wedding. And thank you for the links and any more help you can give :]
Ariel,
Oh I love everything retro. Retro weddings were usually white because tradition was “in”. Actually an all white wedding would seriously free up worrying about colors and look fantastic on the beach. Imagine having a vacation on the beach back in the heyday. Search flea markets for things to use. Look for mason jars for your “vases”. layer sand/seashells in the bottom with floating candles. It actually depends on teh direction you want to go with it.
* this is cute
* this is sopretty and in true 50′s style
* this is great, use whatever natural elements you can find, leave th eflowers to you and the bridal party
Ariel,
* check out heather and kevins wedding for some really cute ideas
* this is pretty great
Ariel,
It may not be the “cheapest” but finding a closeby venue all inclusive is the way to go. Use cylinders
(dollartree.com) that cost only a buck each, use the seashell idea. Ask the venue what they have that wont bust your budget, stick with white, then hang paper lanterns, look at oriental trading then saveoncrafts.com use the mason jars for a more vintage look, think of adding a retro menu too, with milkshakes etc. you could get amrried outdoors and let nature be your decor. Nothing is actually needed than the guets, bridal party, and bride and groom. If you use on vibrant color with white it will have more impact. Also using just the color white with palm leaves and greenery will be stunning and cheap.
* look at this page for ideas
* great site
Sometimes tents can be expensive, also you have to rent chairs etc. It can add up. Maybe there is a place ( even if it is not a traditonal wedding setting) that can work, it will put a cool twist on your wedding too.
OMG thank you so much! You have been a big help. If you can do you think you can help look up cheap venues on or around Camp Pendleton California. Also I can’t find anywhere with beachy wedding dresses in the price range 200-300 anywhere. So if you could find some places that would help me so much too! Your a blessing :]
Ariel,
* try this site
Also dont overlook white bridesmaid dresses for a wedding dress. Look for a flowy fabric. These work well for a beach wedding.
* house of brides is a great site
Look to regualr department stores like nordstroms, macys, etc. for some ideas. my best advice for a venue search is to check with local florists and wedding rental companies. They usually know the hot spots. Check with restaurants too. They usually have everything you need for a decent price. I will be searching and see what I can come up with, it is difficult without talking directly to the venue and discussing your budget.
Ariel,
Here is a site that gives a complete rundown of *venues etc.
* list of venues
* general search
My boyfriend is joining the army and going to boot camp in may and AIT right after were hoping to get married right after his training so if he were to be station afar i could be with him. do we still need to do the whole sabers thing? I’m not really sure to begin anyways i want a military theme but i don’t know what i should and shouldn’t have because he will only have been in the army a short time. please help
-thanks
Hanna
Hey my name is jamie, i am 17 and i just got married to a marine..it was kinda rushed. but we did it at the court house and we were planning on having the real wedding or actually renewing our vows in early september and i have no idea what i’m doing. like i said i’m 17…could anyone help me out? he’s going to be wearing his dress blues. i still haven’t found the right dress yet. yikes! please help. thank you.
Jaime,
Can you give me some more details like the type of wedding you want, will it be rustic, modern, etc. Have you secured your venue yet? Let me know and we can get the ball rolling! Thanks!!
Hello all,
My fiance is in the Navy and he is planning to marry in his dress whites. My problem is with my dress, white/offwhite/etc. I’m afraid it will clash or look odd (or even too bright to look at, as we will be outside in the summer) next to the crisp white dress uniform.
I’m considering playing off of the “Navy” idea and maybe using a white/navy blue color scheme for the rest of the wedding.
My question, I suppose, is would I be better off marrying my Sailor in his dress Blues to avoid a collision??
ABC,
* here is a pic with white wedding dress/white dress uniform
* some with blue uniforms.
I think they both look wonderful. I would leave it to the groom to what he feels like wearing. I think a navy and white color scheme would work very well with either one especially with the white uniform( my personal preference).
Thank you very much, I haven’t had much luck with anyone’s help thusfar. My Sailor is pretty passive at this point, saying that the wedding is all up to me and he’ll just wear what I tell him to. But I think if I find a way to work with the navy/white theme he’ll wear whites.
(:
Different uniforms really depend on different formalities, so I feel like the formality of your wedding would dictate which uniform he is in as opposed to the color.
Hey everyone, I need major help and major ideas. My fiance are getting married on Sept 10 2011 And we are both Military. I am going to be wearing a dress and everyone on his side is going to be wearing class A’s. I know I want a color that would match the Class A’s for the BM’s but dont know what colors are going to go good. Also our reception is going to be a patriotic theme. We are going to do red,white,blue. Since it is close to 9-11,both military, and some what close to labor day. If any one has any suggestions please let me know. My fiance leaves in June to go TDY and Wont be hm till sept 1st. I want to make this the most memorable wedding ever, just dont know where to start.
tiffany,
* some ideas
* more ideas
* more ideas
Tiffany,
* this tablesetting is fabulous!!
* another nice one
Tiffany,
* had to give you this one
That tablesetting is absolutely amazing Thank You so much Stacey