Plan the Perfect Military Wedding
The day's finally arrived. After all these years waiting for the right one, you've finally find that special someone. Soon a marriage proposal comes your way, one that's sure to change life forever.
Finally, you've got the chance to plan the wedding you've dreamed about since childhood. And all your plans start falling in place, almost like magic — when suddenly something comes up to change the tune. Your soon-to-be spouse learns they're about to be deployed overseas.
All your hopes and dreams for happiness seem lost ... at least for now. You still long to marry — but there's so much to do, and so many unique circumstances that other couples don't face! From finding a chaplain to paying those amped-up fees involved in a rush wedding, your task list can seem even more daunting than the average bride's.
True, it's not like you're the only one to face this. Others, too, have lived the military life from day one, and were so proud to play a role that they enlisted as adults. If you're one of those who grew up in the military, shifting from base to base and city to city, you probably long for a military wedding that embodies all the traditions and pride you've cherished all your life.
Yet, as you know, there are plenty of rules and regulations when it comes to doing things military style — even for weddings. And staying within the guidelines can be overwhelming. As a bride, you need answers on how to do it — and those answers won't be found in the pages of all those bridal magazines or bridal books. But take heart!
It goes without saying: there are vast differences between a civilian and a military wedding. In the the latter case, the ceremony may take place at the base/post chapel. Your officiant will be a military chaplain. The Arch of Sabers or Swords (depending on the branch of service) is used. And you'll need to pay special attention to the special formalities involved with invitations and seating arrangements.
To help make your military wedding planning a little smoother, try these tips:
Even if the couple chooses not to have the traditional Military Wedding, insurance (unless they are having a quick, simple civil ceremony at the courthouse) will save headaches and cover the loss of deposits or money due to changes or cancellations. When you marry into the military, never-ending shifts in deployment dates — quick deployments, delayed deployments, and extended deployments — are common. It's best to plan ahead and be safe.
Take this example: The date's been set for a year out. You paid the deposits, and prepared the invitations (whew!). Then a set of orders shows up for the bride or groom that read, "Report to your duty station 19 May 2007. " Unfortunately, the wedding date was set for 25 May 2007! You now have to change everything ... and even re-order those invitations.
Unless you're working with extremely military-friendly vendors, there's a real risk of losing hefty deposits. Insurance is your best bet for safeguarding against this.
For a new bride who's marrying into the service, there's a whole new lingo to learn. For starters, you'll need to get acquainted with the formalities of the Arch ... but do the groomsmen raise Swords, or is it Sabers?
Here's your answer: Sabers are used for Air Force and Army. Swords are used for Coast Guard, Marine Corps and Navy. The National Guard and Reserve go by the same etiquette and regulations of their service branch (i.e. Army National Guard, Air National Guard, Naval Reserve, etc). Also, although most military personnel won't own a Sword or Saber, they can contact the Chaplain — who'll normally have these on hand for your use, or if not, the Commander will.
There are plenty of other terms you'll want to become familiar with and knowledgeable about, but don't worry ... as time goes on, the language will become second nature.
For tradition's sake, you're better off leaving it in. After all ... wasn't it the tradition that drew you to the idea of a full military wedding in the first place? It's best to only omit this step if the bride's the service member.
If you're not familiar with "the Swat," here's how it works: When the groomsmen assemble after the vows, the bride and groom then pass through the Arch of Saber or Swords (this symbolizes the military's welcome, and the couple's safe transition into their new life together). The couple pauses as the last two men lower their sabers or swords in front of the bride and groom. Then, the man to the right will then lightly "swat" the bride on the rear and say "Welcome to the Army" (or name the appropriate branch of service).
It's important to know the proper seating arrangements for guests — not to mention, where the bride and groom should stand, including who stands on which side. The standing arrangement is determined by whether the service member is an officer, or enlisted.
A guest list will have Commanders, other Officers within the unit, and peers. It's important to know the proper seating for all your guests ... and also for the receiving line. Everyone associated with a service member (i.e. their Commanders, Officers and peers within the unit or office) should be invited to the wedding.
When seating the groom or bride's Commander and spouse, seat them with the family of the bride or groom, whichever group they represent. Commanders are usually seated in the front row when the bride or groom's parents can't attend. Seat all other higher-ranking Officers directly behind the family of either the bride or groom.
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Ok, I am having a bit of a problem. I am getting married to my wonderful Marine in May. And I am a police Officer, I was it to be a mixed wedding of Military and Police, but I dont want it to be so….. um, well….. hard, that it has no elegancy, feminine touch, and warm feel to it. I would love to have a fairytale feel to it, but with his MIlitary, and my Law Enforcement in the mix.
And does anyone have any idea to colors???
I love the warm browns, teals, warm reds and things like that, but does it match and is it too dark for the season. Course the problem of matching the party. Please, dear God someone help me!
Thanks So much,
Monica
Hi Monica! A bride just asked about red, blue and brown weddings on our Choosing Colors page. I am going to re-include that board here, only I’ve faked out the blues a bit to be more teal so you can see that in action.
This is a very original, very modern color scheme. My feeling is that if brown is VERY predominant, it looks like fall. If you go easier on the brown it seems to work for any season. You can see there’s a bright summer wedding on this board (mostly blue and red, third row). The top row, first pic would work any time of year.
I think this overall scheme would also work with more of a mocha brown, and be a bit softer.
My only concern is that this is so modern (I really like it!) that it might be a bit difficult to get that fairytale feeling. If you took out the red and had that pretty soft teal and brown it might be easier. BUT — I could be TOTALLY wrong! It’s amazing what you can do with the right vision.
What do you think?
so monica i think i can help you out what are the colors of your uniform and his ( branch of service). what you could do is pull colors out of you uniform and his that that it will match and still look eligant. my email is jlo_il_miss@hotmail.com i will try to give you some ideas to help you out.
jenn
Hey guys!! I am not sure if you all have had your invitations printed or addressed any yet, but there are some great websites out there that will help. Check this out if your fiance is enlisted… it is how they technically should be done…
Military Wording: If Groom is a Non-Commissioned Officer or Enlisted Man
My husband was an LT when we married and we were told to have our invitations say this because an LT is technically a junior officer:
Mr. and Mrs (my parents names here)
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
(my name here)
to
(my husbands name here)
Lieutenant, United States Air Force
Saturday, the sixth of January
two thousand and one
at half past six o’clock
(your location and the address here)
I had a great resource in the wife of a higher ranking officer in my husband’s squadron. There are a ton of women out there ready to help who have already gone through this!
Be careful when addressing your invitations as well. If you are inviting other military personnel there are specific ways to address the envelopes.
As for the sabre arch… we were thousands of miles away from our squadron, so we used a local ROTC unit from the university. They were great honor guard trainees that had a great time!!
Let me know if I can help. It is an honor to be a military bride! Enjoy the process!!
Hi…I am having trouble deciding what colors I should use for my wedding..we’re getting married in March..and my fiance is in the Air Force…of course he will be wearing his dress blues. Now I dont know what colors to use..I always wanted a black/white wedding..but it won’t match him…should I use navy blue/silver?? I’m so confused
Hi Valerie! Don’t worry and don’t give up on what you want. It is true that some brides would rather match the dress blues exactly and plan the wedding around it, and that’s fine! Other brides don’t want to horribly contrast with the uniform (like the blue/purple/green example below), and that makes good sense too.
But there is No. Way. in Heck. that your black & white idea is going to look BAD against a uniform. Black and white is a very formal scheme and of course, the dress blues are very formal attire. They look great together!
Here’s a black & white Colo. Springs Air Force Academy wedding that brings in periwinkle as a third color. Check out this, this, this. Even with three colors (and you don’t need a third color unless you want it) you can see how wonderful a crisp bright white and black will look with the uniforms. I say go for it!
Hey lovely ladies,
Jacquelyn
Okay well I am 18 years old and i have to plan a wedding with my Marine Fiance, He is leaving on July 15 2009 and will return in November, our wedding is For March 22 2009, And not only am i crazy confussed about everything my friends and family are giveing me hell because of my age, I have a Beautiful chruch and wonderful spring colors, its just im not sure how to plane a wedding or put anything together, can anyone help me please, it would be greatly aperciated…Thank You,
jacquelyn,
I am 19 and I am kind of having the same problem…with family and confusion. Just don’t worry what everyone else thinks if this is what you want then don’t be worried about what they say. They should be supportive in your choices. What I did about the confusion is I went to my local walmart and found this wedding book that basically spells everything out for you. It helped me out a lot. It also helps if you talk to people that have already went through a wedding. This website helps me out every time I have a question. So what i would do is ask specific questions and maybe check out walmart or bookstores for wedding books to help you with your planning.
I hope i helped you a lot if not a lot at least a little bit.
~alysia
My fiance and I aren’t having the Marine wedding with the swords and all, but he is going to wear his dress blues. I really don’t want to have a red, white, and blue wedding… I DO want everything to kinda go together though. Does anyone have ideas? I was kinda thinking navy blue and a green color.. Sounds ugly but I have seen pics and It looks good. My favorite idea is a gold/bronze with accents to creme and red. Yalls opinions would be great. Thanksss.. oh yea, its in July.. I know some people like to know when so they can pick colors accordingly.
jordan-
just thought i would put my oppinion in on it:D
Those colors don’t sound too bad but don’t you think they sound kind of winterish?? i think you should pick more of a summer color…it’s hard to match the dress blues with a summer color…but i am doin red white and gold for mine…mine will prolly be in march depending on if he has to go to iraq or not…it all depends. Well i am wishing you luck and i hope i kind of helped you out a little
-Alysia
Jordan:
The dress blues will go great with warmer greens. A summery lime green or acid green goes great with the dark blue and makes it lighter. Also, flowers like Hydrangeas and roses come in some beautiful light, bright greens that will look great with his blues and your white dress. Stay away from ivory, it can take the blue into almost black. Congratulations! Whatever you choose, if you like it, it is perfect!
Hi Jordan! Just wanted to say, I really love the navy/bright green combination. It is so fresh and great looking, also very underused. It looks very preppy to me, I hope that doesn’t sound bad, because it seems like preppy at its best. This would be great colors for an outdoor or afternoon wedding especially … country club style, bright green rolling lawns, or even on the beach.
But it sounds like you really like the red/gold/bronze/ivory thing a little bit more. That sounds to me like a romantic indoor evening wedding, a bit fairytale-style, lots of roses and organza and taper candles. I really think you can do that any time of year.
Jessica~
I sent you a request on myspace. I hope you get the request if not then let me know. i will be sure to look for you
THanks
~**Alysia
Alysia - Ok hun =) Just send me a comment on myspace so I know its you =)
I am marrying a Chief Warrant Officer 3 in the Marine Corps, how do I correctly address him as the groom on our wedding invitations? thankyou very much !
~erqueen75
My fiance said that you just call him cheif warrant officer 3 then his name. He is in the Marines also:D
**Alysia
Niki - What I did was ask my Marines recruitor & he said he would get Marines together to do it for us. Thats what I did =) I hope this helps you out =)
when you have a military wedding they will usually have their unit perform the arch of sabers (arch of swards). For example my husband is in the marine corps and his unit did the arch of sabers. Well not really because we did not have the money to ship them form north Carolina to Illinois for our wedding so I did some calling around and got a hold of an military officers school and they performed the arch of sabers for us. We did not have enough marines through the school so he has family that is in the marines and we had them join in on the arch of sabers so that we come out evenly and just perfect.
Jennifer~
I am not doing the arch of sabers i don’t think…you don’t have to do it do you??
**Alysia
I had a Marine Corps wedding back in May this year. And it turned out to be very budget friendly. If you ladies have any questions feel free to ask me. http://www.myspace.com/jlo_il_miss. I read some of your comments on wedding colors. So I will add my wedding colors were mainly pastels Blue Purple and Pink. We tried to get a variety of flowers beings that it was a may (spring) wedding.
But any way I do have some really nice pointers and extras that I think you ladies might want to think about incorporating in your wedding like I did mine… So again if you would like some advice or a question feel free to ask me my email is jlo_il_miss@hotmail.com or http://www.myspace.com/jlo_il_miss
Just to keep you all posted we had to move the wedding date…dad said that that date was too soon for him…he is the one that likes to waste money on toys for the family:D which isn’t always a bad thing:D We are not sure as to when we are going to reschedule the wedding but i think i will keep up with my planning just so i don’t have to do it all at the last minute:D So i need as much help as i can get if you have any ideas then feel free to let me know:D
Jessica thanks for all of your help i really appreciate it…my myspace url is http://www.myspace.com/pkchic07 so look me up and add me and i will be sure to add you:D
Thanks again
-Alysia
Alysia- I tried adding you on myspace but it wouldnt work for me =( my email is pinky_15_jess@hotmail.com or you can search my name that should work to.
My Marine and I will wed in March 2009 in the north Jersey area. He is part of a JTU (Joint Training Unit) with mainly the Army. Because of this he does not have enough fellow Marine officers he can ask to take part in the sword ceremony. Are you aware of any program that will volunteer to help out in this sort of situation?
Cynthia-I’m not sure about a program for this but I went to my marines recruitor & asked him if he could get some Marines together for our wedding to do the sword ceremony & he said Yes =) So maybe his recruitor can help you too.
Cynthia…
None of the marines that are in the wedding have swords…so we don’t have to worry about that…and he is a reservist so i am not sure that we have to have that at the wedding but i will have him look into it:D THanks
Me and My Marines wedding is November 22, 2008. He is wearing his dress blues and so are all of his groomsmen and his best man and i am thinkin about going with red and white as my colors…sound like a good idea? I don’t want the colors to clash with his dress blues so i am limited on the color choices. So let me know what you think…I am very very new at this i am 19 and never been to a wedding that i can remember so i need as much advice and help as possible.
Thanks:D
Alysia - Yeah that sounds like good choices. I have decided on the navy blue of coast guard dress and oasis like blue green with sunflowers. But that sounds good I just dont want red white blue. Yellow looks good cuz their golf parts of uniform……
Alysia- Yes I think those colors would be a good idea. When My Marine & I get married we are colors in red, white, & blue. The groomsmen are wear there dress blues also & the bridesmaids are wearing red dresses with red, white, & blue boquets =) I am the type of person that likes to match everything. I am 18 but I think matching is the way to go =)
Alysia I’m sorry I didn’t read over my comment & I spelled a lot of things wrong. My Name is Jessica Hohn I am a Marine Fiancée & I talk to a lot of other Marine fiancées & Wives on Myspace =)
Hi Jessica my name is Kristen and i see you are a Marine Fiance , so am i im new to this whole thing but could not be happier. wondering if your having the traditinal Marine Corps wedding and if you have some advice?
my fiance is in the coast guard and i am having a hard time deciding on colors…and what dress uniform should he be wearing if it is summer or fall (havent decided yet)…. what colors for bridemaids would look best with his dress uniform?
I am getting married next year in July. My fiance wants me to wear my dress whites. I am retired Canadian Armed Forces, Navy. The tunic has to be tailor made, not issue. I am looking for a tailor in around the maritimes (Halifax, etc) that can make one for me. If anyone has any information about this, please let me know. I would appreciate it.
Hi Ladies, thought you might enjoy watching this couple’s cute pass through the arch of sabers at their own wedding while you’re planning yours!
Hi! I was proposed to the day my man of 6 years graduated from marine corp basic training last month. He said we would wait a while before the wedding, he loves the marine corp but isn’t sure where he will be, so we can’t make a date. Any advice? Should we do it on base or beach like we planned before the usmc? Were both from Florida, so we want tropical stuff, but can’t figure out how to incorporate that into the marines stuff….help!! I’m new to ALL of this!!!
I need help finding a dress vest that is red and has the USMC anchors in gold on it. Can you help me?
HELP!! My Fiancee and i are planning on getting married after he gets out of USMC bootcamp. Im having a really hard time finding Marine Corps. stuff for weddings. Does anyone know where to get stuff?
My boyfriend who is in the army and i are talking about getting married and i want some help. since he is gone so often iwas wondering if someone whould give me advise
well i have decided that we are going to have blue,a very very light pink and green.and in my flowers i will also have yellow roses.