Plan the Perfect Military Wedding
The day's finally arrived. After all these years waiting for the right one, you've finally find that special someone. Soon a marriage proposal comes your way, one that's sure to change life forever.
Finally, you've got the chance to plan the wedding you've dreamed about since childhood. And all your plans start falling in place, almost like magic — when suddenly something comes up to change the tune. Your soon-to-be spouse learns they're about to be deployed overseas.
All your hopes and dreams for happiness seem lost ... at least for now. You still long to marry — but there's so much to do, and so many unique circumstances that other couples don't face! From finding a chaplain to paying those amped-up fees involved in a rush wedding, your task list can seem even more daunting than the average bride's.
True, it's not like you're the only one to face this. Others, too, have lived the military life from day one, and were so proud to play a role that they enlisted as adults. If you're one of those who grew up in the military, shifting from base to base and city to city, you probably long for a military wedding that embodies all the traditions and pride you've cherished all your life.
Yet, as you know, there are plenty of rules and regulations when it comes to doing things military style — even for weddings. And staying within the guidelines can be overwhelming. As a bride, you need answers on how to do it — and those answers won't be found in the pages of all those bridal magazines or bridal books. But take heart!
It goes without saying: there are vast differences between a civilian and a military wedding. In the the latter case, the ceremony may take place at the base/post chapel. Your officiant will be a military chaplain. The Arch of Sabers or Swords (depending on the branch of service) is used. And you'll need to pay special attention to the special formalities involved with invitations and seating arrangements.
To help make your military wedding planning a little smoother, try these tips:
Even if the couple chooses not to have the traditional Military Wedding, insurance (unless they are having a quick, simple civil ceremony at the courthouse) will save headaches and cover the loss of deposits or money due to changes or cancellations. When you marry into the military, never-ending shifts in deployment dates — quick deployments, delayed deployments, and extended deployments — are common. It's best to plan ahead and be safe.
Take this example: The date's been set for a year out. You paid the deposits, and prepared the invitations (whew!). Then a set of orders shows up for the bride or groom that read, "Report to your duty station 19 May 2007. " Unfortunately, the wedding date was set for 25 May 2007! You now have to change everything ... and even re-order those invitations.
Unless you're working with extremely military-friendly vendors, there's a real risk of losing hefty deposits. Insurance is your best bet for safeguarding against this.
For a new bride who's marrying into the service, there's a whole new lingo to learn. For starters, you'll need to get acquainted with the formalities of the Arch ... but do the groomsmen raise Swords, or is it Sabers?
Here's your answer: Sabers are used for Air Force and Army. Swords are used for Coast Guard, Marine Corps and Navy. The National Guard and Reserve go by the same etiquette and regulations of their service branch (i.e. Army National Guard, Air National Guard, Naval Reserve, etc). Also, although most military personnel won't own a Sword or Saber, they can contact the Chaplain — who'll normally have these on hand for your use, or if not, the Commander will.
There are plenty of other terms you'll want to become familiar with and knowledgeable about, but don't worry ... as time goes on, the language will become second nature.
For tradition's sake, you're better off leaving it in. After all ... wasn't it the tradition that drew you to the idea of a full military wedding in the first place? It's best to only omit this step if the bride's the service member.
If you're not familiar with "the Swat," here's how it works: When the groomsmen assemble after the vows, the bride and groom then pass through the Arch of Saber or Swords (this symbolizes the military's welcome, and the couple's safe transition into their new life together). The couple pauses as the last two men lower their sabers or swords in front of the bride and groom. Then, the man to the right will then lightly "swat" the bride on the rear and say "Welcome to the Army" (or name the appropriate branch of service).
It's important to know the proper seating arrangements for guests — not to mention, where the bride and groom should stand, including who stands on which side. The standing arrangement is determined by whether the service member is an officer, or enlisted.
A guest list will have Commanders, other Officers within the unit, and peers. It's important to know the proper seating for all your guests ... and also for the receiving line. Everyone associated with a service member (i.e. their Commanders, Officers and peers within the unit or office) should be invited to the wedding.
When seating the groom or bride's Commander and spouse, seat them with the family of the bride or groom, whichever group they represent. Commanders are usually seated in the front row when the bride or groom's parents can't attend. Seat all other higher-ranking Officers directly behind the family of either the bride or groom.
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I have a few questions and if anyone has any ideas, please let me know.
First, I am a widow with five boys. My husband passed away in 2006 while active duty. We had a wonderful marriage of 14 years.
Now, I have met another man and we plan to marry in a year or two. We know we can’t rush things because of the kids mostly and family (it is really hard on some that I even thought about dating).
But, I have to move on for me and the kids.
This will be my second marriage and his first. He has no children. He is Army Reserves. He did serve in Iraq.
I would like any suggetions that anyone has that might help us plan a beautiful military wedding. He does plan on wearing his dress blues. I am not sure right now what all we can do.
I know I really don’t want to outshine my first wedding,but at the same time, I want this to be beautiful and special for him as well. I do want a military wedding and all I can with it, so I probably will outdo my first wedding, but I certainly will never love my first husband any less. This is hard and yet this is so wonderful!
I also had thought about red, white and blue colors, but don’t want to over do it. And I have no idea of what style of dress to wear! My first one was long sleeved, long train with a sweetheart neckline.
And also wondering what the bridal party should wear! From the men to the women and the girls to the boys.
Oh, and how can I incorporate my children into the entire wedding?
That is a BIG question!!! They are currently ages 4,6,7,9,12. Right now, no one knows that we are planning our wedding, because it is so hard on some people in my family to handle me dating. And, we have only been dating less than six months. It is just so hard to be away from each other and we enjoy each others company and he enjoys my kids!
CASSONDRA
cassondra,
i am so sorry to hear about your loss. i can imagine the difficulty that you have faced yet happy to see the courage you have to begin a new chapter in your life and your childrens lives. it should be a happy day for you all. i would love to help you!! btw what does your venue look like or have you found one yet? what time of year will it take place? these will be key elements in researching some wonderful ideas for you!! but go to the knot and you can look at many wonderful ideas to get a look for your day. when you narrow it down i will begin searching. you said long sleeve so i am assuming it will be cooler weather. Tip: plan a military wedding just as you would a civil one. dont worry about matching his uniform, in fact i would incourage you not too. cause i have read its not suppose to be matched due to what his uniform stands for. what if your fave color and flower and his fave color? that could be the beginning of a perfect color scheme. also look in your closet it will show what colors you are drawn too. but if you are going with red white and blue. add elegance with sparklers and dreamy all white flowers.
*wedding details by color ( you can also type search military wedding and it will pull up a real wedding gallery)
also google image red white blue wedding board.
*The Perfect Palette ( can click on the color of your choice and see mood boards)
i hope this will help!!
I am getting married to an airman and I don’t know what colors i should use…my finance will be wearing his blue mess dress….so what colors go good with blue? i have thought about a light yellow, a light blue, white, and silver but what color should be the major color along with the blue. Should the bridesmaid’s dresses be blue like the mess dress with white around the waist or would a light yellow look better with blue around the waist? i don’t know how to work the colors together!! please anyone if they have ideas let me know!!
emma,
google image blue and yellow wedding. this is a striking combo that would look perfect with this. however the only thing that concerns me is the groom’s honorable uniform will not stand out if you use the same color as he is wearing and that wouldnt look right. but put them in a light blue with dark blue accents and creamy yellow and white flowers would look stunning. keep the silver in the jewelry and any other metallic accents there are like centerpiece containers and silverware. also google image pale blue and yellow wedding. dont overlook putting your bridal party in pale yellow. but be especially careful here cause it may not compliment their skintones. good luck!!
Thank you sooo much stacey!!! you have been a great help!!
im getting married in a year to amarine and i am totally lost on evereything if anyone could help me that would be great cause i have planned nothing yet????????
brittany,
hi could you tell me a little of your wedding vision, where it is being held, and what colors your drawn too? is it gonna be informal or formal etc.
i really don’t know much yet just that he is wearing his dress blues, and that stuff. thinking of having it at this lake near our home, it will be outside and during spring.
thats it….
brittany,
first google lake wedding then lake wedding board then lakefront wedding also image green and white wedding board and green and blue wedding board.
i found some posts you might love. i am steering toward a green and white or blue and green wedding. but this with the mint green and citrus flowers is gorgeous!! you would not believe how gorgeous green and white go against green lawn and trees.
* check this out, you could grab great ideas *real wedding
*military real wedding
*military real wedding in tiffany blue
now this is perfection, i love this wedding, it has all the elements of romamance….simply. it just appears full of the true meaning of a wedding.
*real wedding on the lake if you chose this, it would be heavenly not to mention simple to do. dont worry about making the wedding match your fh’s uniform. it is usually not recommended to do so, since it is a uniform of honor. if complimenting his uniform means alot to you, then this is the wedding. isnt it breathaking, yellow and green with brown would fit for summer and spring as well.
check out all real weddings at brides.com also venture over to theknot.com click on wedidng photos and it will bring you to a color gallery. see what grabs ya!!
So, my wedding date is’nt set in stone but i would like it to be in August of 2010. I will be 19 and my Marine boyfriend will be 21. Simple as it is…
Does my wedding have to be a Military wedding, with all those rules and regulations? Or can i just have like a normal Civilian wedding? Of course my hunny will have on his dress blues, but he wants me to have the wedding how i want.
So is there any rule that it HAS to be a military wedding?
kaylee,
hi!! go ahead and have the civilian wedding, i have read military weddings are optional, even his uniform is not required UNLESS it is a military wedding. so plan the day of your dreams!! have fun and congrats!!
the military wedding websites do not work.
Sorry, Christina, the site must have gone out of business!
We’ve taken the links off for now. Sorry about that!
I’m in the Air Force Air National Guard, a Reserves component. My fiance is not in the military. I’ve been unemployed 1 year, my employment benefits are gone, and I’m doing part-time work with my reserve unit as needed to fortunately meet my family needs. Since we collectively cannot afford a church wedding and reception, I am encouraging my fiance to consider the military wedding at my ANG base with the assistance of one of our Chaplains. There is still a cost, but not like a full blown civilian wedding. I’m lost as to how to make this nice without costing me hundreds of dollars I can’t afford to spend. My fiance has a new black suit he bought last fall. I’ve a wedding gown from 2 yrs ago from a previous broken engagement that I’ve never even tried on since the engagement ended just before the gown arrived. Since I’m the military member and my fiance isn’t, I don’t know if I’m to wear my unused wedding gown or am I suppose to wear my service blues? The ivory wedding gown is formal since the wedding I planned 2 years ago in the previous engagement was to be a more formal wedding. Will it be appropriate in this type of ceremony? I still have the blank invitations from that previous engagement…antique looking hand made paper with embedded tiny flowers pressed throughout the paper…all I have to do is print the words on vellum from my printer and attach. Is this inappropriate to use? I also had red silk roses I was going to make as a bouquet…now adorning my side table…my original wedding colors were going to be a very subtle red, ivory and blue with the theme being WWII in honor of my former fiance’s father. I can still throw all this together since I already have these items on hand…but I don’t know how appropriate this is…and of course, we cannot afford any reception…no party favors and big cake…and no one to dress up my hair or makeup…no photographer. Since we want to tie the knot this May, any and all advice will be appreciated…
dai, i am sorry about your dilemma. you said WWII. this is what i would do. go all out with this theme. whether you cut your guest list or not. it will be very inexpensive. in those days brides wore what they had, which is perfect , and cake and punch(upgraded to today to champagne) reception was the norm, with a few finger sandwiches and add chips(ask family to chip in making stuff) have the groom wear the black suit and red bout. find a place to marry(perhaps a family backyard or outdoor location.outdoors is already decorated for you)
WWII was famous for their last minute weddings and the decor was simple. it was a time of ration. so for you i would go with the 1940’s theme in the old fashioned sense by keeping it exactly how they did it.(maybe your fiance would LOVE this authentic theme) collect vases from flea markets, out of your home, friends and family. keep it mismatched on purpose. usually the only arrangements were flowers gracing the cake table. maybe some ribbons etc. it was not decorated in a big way. for the consider cupcakes or (if your guest list is larger) 2 supermarket sheet cakes on table with a round (your cake) in center on pedestal cake plate. borrow your cake and knife set. have old fashioned ideas with it, coffee, mints, nuts and punch. buy paper napkins at any store for cheap (like walmart or sams etc.) nothing fancy just plain napkins etc. borrow or buy a simple set of wine glasses(preferrably the saucers;squatty looking glasses, this was th enorm then)
you can also see where youcan marry on base or check out WWII air hangarmuseums which would give guests something to do, its a great little bonus for no xtra charge.(like my daughte married the night the christmas parade was, it was like it was planned just for her, her wedding was super inexpensive, i will give you the ebay guide i wrote to read)it will appear you set it up just for them.they should let you have a simple cake and punch reception there too. see if they(if they havent already) add patriotic banners. they may have some in storage and be happy to let you use them. if you wnat to honor this time, then a little patriotic would work and the boldness would appear to be more.
orientaltrading.com (lots of decor for VERY VERY cheap) use the invites. and use the dress if its gonna be a more semi formal occasion, it wont hurt. but why not wear a simple fitted 2 piece skirt suit or 1940’s style dress( do you have something that couls work already?) with 1940’s style heels. it would go better with his suit. and wear a birdcage veil. it will still be up to date. carry the red roses. tie off with a white ribbon. they do have fresh red roses at walmart for $5.00. tie with ribbon, instant bouquet. have greenery for centerpieces if you use a banquet hall, just clip your own. make sure its not poison!! stick with ivy, add little flags. (i promise it wont look cheesy) if the other details point to patriotic and WWII. i hate to ask this, but do you have a seamstress inthe family that would alter the dress into tea length or a simpler dress?that way it would be different than for th efirst wedding but still new to you. i really think a tea length or suit is the way to go. i just read a military bride can wear a dress. do our own makeup and hair and see if there is any photographers in th family. the first 2 links are typical era style. a use what yo uhave style. it looks awesome!! remember carnations look so good bunched together!! and was the popular flower then)
*‘nole’s wedding’
*‘heather and kevin’
*short dress(google image tea length wedding dress)
*wedding dress(my mom said this would still work, late 1940’s to 50’s dress)
*stephanie james couture( isnt these great!!)
*Wedding planning…Can you give me tips on how to keep my wedding under $5000?(disnt know your budget but here are some ideas)
*real weddings”(click on photo galleries and see tips for different weddings great tips!!)
*Christi & Trevors Do-It-Together Wedding
*Kara & John’s Simple Sassy Wedding(this is one of the best weddings i have ever seen, they even used plastic cups and it still looks fab, your guest would love this one, i cant stop looking at it and i love the tables WITHOUT the place settings, just like a family reunion, fix your plate and sit down!! smile)
*Thrifty Wedding
google search how to plan a wedding under $(insert your budget here) you will find loads of tips!!
*Real Weddings
*budget friendly wedding baord. (some of the best wedding boards with details!!)
here is my ebay guide:
*The Simple Wedding!( my daughter didnt have a photographer, she just asked family to do this, pics were so good!!she didnt require all the formal shots etc) she cut out alot of details that a formal wedding has and walked away with a wedding people STILL talk about.
yes her wedding really was under $300.00 and everybit as beautiful!! the location was key though. it already had everything including the decor. she didnt have to add anything but a bouquet. seriously it does make a difference when decorating and your budget overall. she chose a one pot wonder for the guests and STILL had food leftover, but the venue didnt charge for that. just what guests ate. how cool is that!!
so find a venue that has everything, including simple flower centerpieces. dont add unnecessary decor, you wont need it. have cake and punch. play era and today tunes on a ipod or sound system if available. have both ceremony/reception in 1 spot. let guests sit at tables instead of rearranging or renting chairs. i know i wrote alot but i hope this helps, i wanted to show you can have a beautiful wedding even on the strictest budget. also think potluck buffet instead of gifts. people will be glad to help!! that way you can have a reception.keep food simple so they wont be inthe kitchen a long time. or get married at a military setting and then have a casual bbq reception in a backyard. (people can pitch in here too)example:
*Wedding Album(another jaw dropper!!)
if you go with your dress just keep all else same, simple with food etc, just have the decor with a more elegant appearance but less is more. think strategically. add lots of greenery so it will be more lush.the costs wont change hardly at all. let me know what you think.
if you need any more info please write back, i would love tohelp you with all this.
Oh wow. that sounds exciting and stressful. I have a few ideas for you. I am currently putting together my wedding with a marine however I have also helped with others as well including my sisters. She was a marine herself. Ive worked with budgets of 1000 to 5000 before. I believe it is only customary for a man to wear a uniform. I suggest you wear the one you have unless it makes you uncomfortable.
I also suggest that you look into cupcakes. It is a new trend so no one would question the amount you spend on these however cupcakes can be a much less expensive alternative.
Also I know when my parents got married they asked family members to pitch in for food for a pot luck. You may not get much of a say in what you have however its not a bad way to go.
As for a place for a reception, look into public parks. Most have pavilions. I also know that many bases have parks on them as well. These may have to be reserved for such an occasion but usually do not cost much if anything. With an outdoor reception you can also have glitter to throw as your exit. Big bottles of glitter can be very cheap at craft stores and the glitter shimmers in the sun.
Another cheap trick, put on your invitations that you would like guests to help contribute to the wedding as a wedding gift. For instance, tell your guests you would like them to bring digital cameras and send you a cd afterwards. Another alternative is to tell people 35mm film will be provided and offer a drop box. Even developing this film can be much cheaper.
Hello, I am trying to plan my big wedding. We already got married at the court so our son will get the benefits. So we are planing a big wedding in July so I can have the wedding of my dreams. Well my husband is in the Marines (the 3rd generation in the Marines) and I am from a military family myself (navy mostly but some army in the mix). So it’s kinda obvious that we want a military wedding. My brides maid dress is wild orchid (a bright purple) and lilac (light purple)…and that’s where i am stuck. Also is it okay to have the arch of swords not be done by his groomsmen. Because he wants his friend that he has been friends with since high school be his groomsmen. thank you
suriati,
okay i read that the groomsmen donot have to do this. but have someone qualified to do so. i would call or talk to someone in the military to find out rules and regulations to this issue.
have you thought about colors you like? what colors are the venue? can you send me a pic of the dress so i can see what could compliment it? my first thought was purples, green and white. with green and white flowers for the decor. then tie inthe purple inthe reception tables and cake. (google iamge green and purple wedding board)also google image green and lilac wedding board. ( great ideas here) and then lilac wedding. i posted some pics.
*Lilac and Green Wedding
suriati,
more pics.
hey ladies
any help?
well im really glad i found this website ive been looking at so many diff. sites to try and plan my military wedding. im engaged to a us soldier and he will be wearing his dress blues and so will all the soldiers with the sabers BUT i have no idea how i can get a really good looking combination of colors to match their dress blues!
ema,
what are some colors that you love. this will help narrow down what you dont like. when is your wedding date? what does your venue look like? for starters google image and google search real military wedding. and google image military wedding board. there are a lot of links you might find helpful. there are so many colors that coordinate with blue, but remember you do not have to match his uniform. plan the wedding as if he is wearing a tux or suit. it should be neutral, since it is his military uniform. it will look wonderful no matter what you use.
example…( see how wonderful it looks with pink!!)i hope this helps and takes the stress away!!
*A Military Fairy Tale
*military wedding colors
*Shannon & Peter in Colorado Springs, CO ( just type in military wedding in search box, it will pull up real weddings(go to the one with galleries, it has pics)
go to links here and see if anything stands out….
*Reception Stories
*wedding details by color
hey everyone im an army fiance and we just got engaged and he is in iraq right now and we are going to have a military wedding but i dont know where to start! he is based in fort drum and im in minnesota till he gets back so its hard trying to plan stuff from here
Kayla,
could you share your wedding vision with me. like the colors you both like, the venue? the ideal setting and mood you want to present to guests. the formality? your ideal flowers? i would love to help you!! oh! when is the wedding date? after you decide the date you should look around for venues and share everything you find with him, that way you can narrow it down. if you have your eye on a particular venue, you may want to check to see if your wedding date is booked, cause if you want it badly, youmay have to be flexible. if i know a little bit about waht you like and dislike, i could put together some ideas!! i look forward to your reply!!
Hi Kayla,
I am stationed at Ft. Drum…are you planning on having a wedding here in NY or in Minnesota? I have great vendors, who work on a budget. I did my military wedding for $4000, and 80 guests. Most of my budget went to buying tickets and hotel rooms for out of town guests. Welcome to the Army…
My name is Faiht, i just got engaged to a Marine and we are getting married in June or July. I can’t decide the color theme. Here is a picture of my wedding dress. He will be wearing his uniform. Do you have any suggestings?
Girl ilove i know you dont know me i am engagd to a marine myself i picked a dress jus like this one take alook at it i love yours
Nice to meet you!!! When are you getting married? My fiance just left for training in San Diego.
I love both of your dresses absolutely beautiful! I myself am marrying a marine in May. He is stationed in San Diego, and its amazing here!
Congratulations to the both of you!
Thanks, my marine is in MCT and we would like to be stationed at San Diego. We both like it there.
I love your dress!!!
I am engaged too But we are Air Force family. I found the same dress only in blue the problem though is it turns out the site I found it on was a fake. I was wondering if you could tell me where you found yours at? I would really appreciate it!
Where did you find that dress?? it is beautiful. im looking at a dress just like that for my wedding. i just got engaged to a marine in december and now he is depolyed. well congrats!!!
I found this dress at David’s Bridal But if you go to the store they only have it in red there but you can order it in any color you want! The different color selections and to see what it would look like in that color you can find on their website http://www.davidsbridal.com. Also the dress by it’s self is $599.00 but my total was around $722 with alterations and the slip under the dress plus the staapless bra that comes with it. Good luck!
I found this dress on ebay. there is a seller who make all kind of wedding dresses. He is from China. here is his store name:haohaohuihui wedding stone. All the dresses are custome made and it only coast $70, It’s for real!! I couldn’t believe it> So, take a look!!
Thank you so much! You just save me a a lot of money!!!!!!!!!! Wish they sold the Air Force’s Mess Dress on there! LOL
Your welcome!!! hope you will found one that you like!!! Congrats!!!
faith, what color are your bm wearing? and color of your venue?
* A red wedding color palette
* Jessica Lynn’s September Wedding
* Red and Yellow wedding colours
* Cooking Light magazine covers
( magazine cover cake floral, scroll down to Cooking Light #53 …. just beautiful)
* “red velvet” red orange yellow gold cake fall ( its a fall cake that could work so easy for a summer wedding)
* Jen & Travis are Married! ( the last wedding in the greens would be gorgeous)
you can also consider a champagne, white and ivory wedding. simple and no color matching!! smile. like here for example….
* Glam Up Your Table for a Party
( this idea is low fuss and beautiful) for a pop of color use simple red calla lilies instead of white. i personally think if your going with color, red and pale yellow would be beautiful, so would red and peach.
Thank you so much, I think i like the idea of red white and yellow. Would that work?
faith, yes it would be gorgeous. i was thinking white in the mix, since its a standard color i didnt mention it!smile. and i am so glad you like the colors. it will be so beautiful with that gorgeous dress! happy planning.
i love this dress! where did you find it?!
I found it on ebay. there are so many beautiful dresses by this seller and they are all $70 and is custom made. this is one of it.
That is a pretty dress. Both my fiance and I are Marines. That would work well with blue and gold or blue and silver color scheme so that you can tie in the color of the Dress Blue uniform.
congrats!!! I never though of those colors? they would really go.
where did you get your dress from???
On ebay, a seller from china and is custome made for only $70. the seller store name is haohaohuihui wedding stone. Check it out!!
i am also engaged to a marine and i cant seem to find a dress that will match his uniform can you give me some ideas????
well I am about to get married February 6th 2009, with the civilian justice of the peace.. But we want to have a military wedding… but since we are already married is that going to be possible?
Jen…I would say it is possible. My husband and I are having a military ceremony on our SECOND year anniversary. Neither of our families were happy about the quick JP wedding we had so we’re having an actual ceremony for the family in October of this year.
yeah our family’s are not happy about it either.. but that is what we want to do.. plus we have our reasons why we are doing things this way..
The chaplain knows that we have been married for a year now and understands that we want to have a ceremony that all of our family members can witness and take part in………it’s kindof crazy because, even though I’m already Mrs. Wilson, I’m nervous and excited about walking down the aisle.
I’ve just recently got engaged to a Marine. I’m having a hard time trying to decide what color accents i would like. We decided on Blue and Silver but I want to add another color. I’m also having a problem deciding if I want to use red & white roses or if i would like to use blue/yellow or white roses. any help would be very much appreciated! I’m new to weddings so i dont really know what I’m doing
amanda, i would use yellow roses. the contrast would be amazing, especially with the silver and blue color scheme.
* Blue & Yellow Preppy Wedding
* Wedding Wednesday - A Delicate Light Blue Wedding
* Blue hydrangea, yellow rununculous bouquet
if ya need anymore help, please dont hesitate!!
* Inspiration:Yellow and Blue Reception
(gorgeous!!)
* Help finding pictures…royal/marine blue
* Real Wedding - Sasha Souza Events, Brooke and Mark, III
(omg!)
Hello! My name is Leslie and I have had a civil ceremony to my marine and am planning the religious ceremony for June 20th 2009. I am having alot of trouble deciding on colors. My husband will be wear his blues but with the white pants instead of the blue and red ones. I have been thinking about doing black and white then using green as my accent color. I am not sure though any color suggestions would be helpful. I really dont want red white and blue. But it needs to match. I really need help. Please!!!!!
leslie, i just took a look at the uniform. I absolutely love the way this will look. stunning and chic! that green will stand out sooo much with crisp white, and touches of black. google image and search black green and white wedding boards for different pics(lots of em’) also over at theknot.com go to weddingphotos link then green wedding details etc. lots there. they even have real military weddings for inspiration but most are red. and if your looking for budget friendly flowers?!? google image carnations wedding also carnation wedding centerpiece
they are sooo overlooked but make the best centerpieces and bouquets when bunched together. check it out!!
* THE TOP 5 WAYS TO SAVE ON YOUR WEDDING FLOWERS
* Bryce & Jason in Kennebunk, ME ( this is beautiful too!! look add the added colors, i saw a military wedding in pink and it looked amazing, not awkward at all, i would plan the wedding as if the uniform want a color factor because it blends!!
)
* Tina & Russ in Vicksburg, MS
* Wordless Wednesday - Karlee’s Wedding Inspiration Board
* Jessica & Tony in Kingston, MA
( this wedding is unforgettable!, just gorgeous!!my fave!)
* Kelly’s Country Club Wedding
( i love how a little pink is added to the brides bouquet)
Thanks a lot Stacy!! I really appreciate the help. Im still debating. My other option I have thought of would be Black and White with yellow accents. I just want everything to flow well together! Again thanks alot!
leslie, you are so welcome!! wow you have 2 great schemes. why not do black and white with yellow flowers and greenery as the “green” then do like in pic add pops of green here and there (keep bm in black) i think this would be amazing. could you imagine having a b&w wedding cake, b&w table linens and then having these fab yellow flowers accented by green?!? i am not trying to confuse you but girls in yellow, black or green would work. with gm dresses accordingly, black suit with yellow or green tie. google image and search your wedding combos. yelow wedding, yellow and green, black white and yellow etc. to get good looks at wedding colors.
you might really love the link below, the paper lanterns give a great summery feel. its really beautiful. the lanterns could easily be mixed green and pale light yellow. above pic it will say courtesy of inside weddings (click for entire, beautiful wedding photos) i posted pics for ideas on black and white weddings on favor ideas website.
* A Punch of Color
* Knottie Wedding: springchic ( this is beautiful)
* Lime and Yellow Wedding
* StyleMePretty: Yellow, Navy
* Spring Wedding Colour Palette
tell me what ya think after looking at all this, espcially the wedding link, what i love about this its soooo easy! paper lanterns are budget friendly. if you will share what type wedding your hoping for i would love to help!! maybe i can narrow down some ideas for ya!!
Hey thanks again. These pictures help alot. I am pretty sure we are going to go with the Black white and yellow. I think it wll look good and the yellow will add a modern feel to it. I want the wedding to be fancy but not over the top and some what simple at the same time. They location is a small plantation and the reception is in an old cultural arts barn. It is absolutely stunning! We do have a very small budget, so we are doing our best to kkeep things on the low cost side with out looking like it. I have already purchased a few paper lanterns in white so I need to get some more. I love the look of them!!Again Thank you so much!!
leslie, your wedding is gonna be beautiful!! after seeing where your getting married. definitely yellow. it is one of the best colors for plantations, castles, etc. it is a happy occasion color. brides have been using it in these particular settings for years!! the paper lanterns will go a long way!! consider having ribbon wands for flower girls, this is an old idea. it looks amazing. and you can diy. (google image diy ribbon wands) and also image ribbon wnads to look at them. just little inexpensive details can make a difference. and use also as a gift to the flowergirls. happy planning!!
Hey- its Cortney again! Thank you all so so much for all your help I think I am going to go with the burnt orange( with hints of gold), white and the navy blue. Thanks for all your help! If any one has any other ideas please send them my way!! My moms not into the wedding planning thing!-
Thanks again!
Hi,
Im getting married in March and im doing my wedding Invitations but im am so stuck on the wording. Everything I have found is like if my parents were sending out the invitations, which mine arnt lol. If any of ya’ll have any info that would help i would greatly appriciate it.
Thanky yall
allaina, here is a great website!! it should help alot!!
* Proper Wording for Wedding Invitations
Hey everyone- I am Cortney and I am 18. I am engaged to a Marine. We plan on getting married the summer of 2009. I am having a horrible time trying to figure out colors. My soon to be brother-in-law is also a marine. When him and his wife got married, they had yellow colors. I was thinking a burnt orange… what else… Please I need help and Im stressing!! I can take all the advice I can get
Thanks Cortney
hi cortney, we just got married, my new husband is a marine, and i had the girls wear navy blue, with a white sash. They looked great with the assorted military uniforms that all military were asked to wear. I think everyone looked so classy and polished. Hope this helps… good luck and congrats to you and your marine future!
Hi Courtney,
I’m getting married again in Aug. 2009 to a my Marine. We had a civil ceremony this past Aug. 2nd. This time will be the religious ceremony. I think I’m going with a red wine color for the brisdemaids or all gold. I love that look, and I can’t decide. Good Luck with your Marine future!!!!
Are you have a renewal of vows cermony or a blessing of the marrige cermony? I have been reading online that with the blessing ceremony is not right to have bridesmaids and things like that.
I only ask because I am planning my real wedding now since i only had a civil ceremony before and im not sure what type of ceremony to do.
amy, it is perfectly fine to have the whole wedding atmosphere for a real wedding if you didnt have it first go around!! smile!! celebrities seal and heidi klum are marrying, from what i understood, every anniversary with the works and each in a different theme, so go for it!! do what you want!! the only thing that will be different is the marriage license etc. read some of my info links on this site. hope it helps!!
cortney, here are some links, colors that may appeal to you paired with orange!!
* Board #238: Floral Opulence
( i just wanted to show you orange and white bouquets against dresses are amazing!!) keep all floral decor in burnt orange and white flowers just add blue here and there like a beautiful blue cake, blur ribbons on favors, wrapped around bouquets etc. dont forget the greenery!! unless your going for a hip look which is more flowers than greenery.
* Oklahoma; Becky & Ryan ( this is a military wedding, bride used pink it is a very nice wedding and does not clash with groom’s uniform. google image orange wedding and look at different colors with orange. see which you love best. there are lots of ideas to enjoy!! like orange and pink, orange and red, orange and yellow, orange and green,etc.
* Board #308: Tiffany Blue and Tangerine
cortney, i just came across this one and i just knew you would love it!! it is gorgeous!! its a military wedding with burnt orange and red….
* The Grand Del Mar April 2008
I LOVE IT!! This is beautiful! Thank you so much! I am for sure going to base my wedding off of this!! Thanks
My cousin married a marine and for their wedding she color cordinated with red and white flowers and gold, navy and white decorations, it was beutiful. Im a military wife, and ARMY veteran as well and i wouldd suggest using the accent colors on the uniform to match you. Use colors off the ribbons, rank and awards. It will show your pride for your husband and look good to.
Hi Emily,
My daughter will be marrying her Marine fiance’ next December. She is having a very difficult time picking out colors for her bridesmaids with the Marine uniform and black tuxedos for the groomsmen. We have been seriously thinking about gold with using red as accents, but not sure how this will look. Do you know what color your cousin used for her bridesmaids? Thank you
Hi ladies,
I left a comment a couple of weeks ago about my air force wedding…well..i decided to use the colors coral and rose red…do you think that would be okay with his blue uniform? …Valerie (Air Force Fiance)
valerie, ooohhhh!! love it!!
* Laura’s Warm September Wedding
* Jessica & Danny’s Inspiration Board / garden wedding
* Social Design / Poll Results! (Purple & orange with professional event lighting)
i found some links but you’ll have to adjust the orange to coral. couldnt find a whole lot.
valerie, the pics didnt take gotta resend them.
valerie here they are….
Dear fellow brides,
So, we decided to have the actual ceremony and reception on our 1st year anniversary. The reason being, that I’ve heard the 1st year of a military marriage is the hardest. In the meantime, he wants us to not tell people to preserve the element of suprise. ( Although I don’t forsee that working)
My worry is that I want gifts, and all the bells and whistles of a formal wedding and reception. Unfortunately because I will already be married, I wont get to have the bridal shower that most brides get. Secondly, I’m afraid people will feel like we are only having a formal wedding celebration because we want gifts; although I do want gifts, it’s about more than that.
I have no control in what the government does with his life, and because of that I have no control over the most important day of my life. I don’t even know how I would word the invitation to the one year celebration. I want to walk down the isle in a white wedding dress and do all the other stuff I’ve been dreaming of being a bride would entail. But I don’t know what effect being married in a civil ceremony would have on that.
Do we tell our families? Do we still register for gifts? Do we have a second church ceremony and a reception or just throw a party? I cant talk to other military wives, because I get so many different responses. It basically boils down to the fact that we have to get married NOW for his peace of mind, because of the military. I just don’t know what to do after that.
I know someone on either sides of our families is destined to not like the way we decide to do things. So have to figure out something, invitation wording, and whether to register for gifts or not, without being tacky. Please help.
anonymous bride, first i wouldn’t worry about what others think. its your day. as goes with a 2nd wedding or a recommitment ceremony you can have whatever you want!! if you didn’t register the first go around then by all means go for it!! if you dont need alot of the wedding items like household stuff then go for sporting equipment etc. things that are more nontraditional. and yes tell everyone!! its a joyous celebration!! you can tell them that you wasnt able to have a big wedding first time and are now at a better place to share with your family and friends a day youve dreamed of. they will be excited i am sure. most couple nowadays pay for the entire wedding or most of it. the parents arent required to pitch in but may do so. and yes have that bridal shower!! why not!! the bachelerette party i probably wouldnt do, just get with the girls for a looking forward to the big day celebration, or spa day!! just to relax!! they say dont have attendents or register for gifts, i say if you didnt at first then do it this time! your gonna get gifts anyway.your gonna get mixed feelings on all this! but its no different then marrying the same person on their 10th anniversary. and having it lavish. i wish you the best of luck!! hope the info helps!!
* A Guide to Renewing Your Wedding Vows
* Open Question: Civil Ceremony Now, Wedding Later?
* Open Question: Civil Ceremony, Chapel Ceremony
* Two Wedding Ceremonies? (TheKnot Thread) My fiance is in the military …
These are really great links! Thank you Stacey for posting GOOD information on what is a really common dilemma for military couples where the fiance is being deployed.
Anon, one of the best things I have heard about this is that many countries NORMALLY have a civil ceremony and a religious ceremony. They’re separate. The civil ceremony is for the state, a formality (and in your case gives you the privileges you absolutely need to get along with a deployed partner). The religious ceremony is the crucial one.
Here, we don’t normally do that, but for you there is still an important distinction between the civil wedding and the “real” one. This is so common with military couples especially during times like these.
My thought is you’ll probably want to tell your parents and very close relatives, but otherwise, I’d just keep mum about the civil part. Make the big wedding the “real” wedding and don’t try to explain your reasoning to 100 more casual acquaintances who may not be in the service or be aware of these customs elsewhere. The last thing you want to do is apologize your way through the bridal shower or receiving line. Just enjoy your big, formal wedding when the time comes!
As long as you are comfortable with this I think it will work out great for you. And check out those links above, lots of other brides have been there! Best of luck!
I’m in the same boat that you are in…. My fiance is in tech school and we just recently got engaged. We haven’t told our parents yet that we want to get married before having a wedding… In fact were going to get married in a few months. I too want to have a wedding with my friends and family but In order to go with him we have to get married. I’ve searched the internet trying to find answers to all of my questions and typically people are not understanding of our situation. I honestly don’t see a problem getting married and then having a wedding later to celebrate.
I would tell your family and if they have a problem with it they don’t have to come to the wedding. I don’t think its tacky; being in the military means you live a different kind of life and that means we can’t do everything the same as everyone else. People should realize that, things don’t always go according to plan.
Its so weird to read your post because it sounds like me. I had the same problems. In the end we decided to get married at the court house and have just our parents there and save the ceremony for our one year. I was against the idea for along time because I had already bought my dress and I wanted the big ceremony and everything. I am extreamly happy that we did get married when we did and now I can call him my husband. Military life is rough and I miss him everynight, soon I will be living with him untill he is called away to a ship. Just stay strong, if having the ceremony on your one year is whats would work out best then do it. Don’t worry about what others may say or think. In the end its being together that you want so do what is needed to make it happen.
-Mrs. Maddox (Full time Navy Wife)
I’m in a very similar situation as well. My fiance and I are planning to have a civil ceremony, just us, to be legally married so that we can have those benefits and live together. We also want to have a celebration or vow renewal for all of our friends and family to be together and see our committment to each other on our one year anniversary. This makes the most sense to us, because we want to get married now so that we can save money for a “real” wedding later. Also, we are paying for it all ourselves and we are both from opposite ends of the country. I’d love for our families to meet and for us all gather together, but it’s impossible to plan that right away with expenses and timing, so forth. I also want to have the chance to wear a wedding dress! We are planning to tell everyone, and explain the reasons why. We are going ot get married this New Years Eve and have our vow renewal next New Years Eve. We’re planning on sending “Save the Date” cards after we get legally married but I’m wondering how to go about saying you’re legally maried but are celebrating it on your one year? Anyways, it’s going to be hard to explain to a few of my family members the reasons, but being a military wife isn’t being a typical wife. I say tell everyone important and close to you - so no one can have an excuse to feel “hurt” later on. If they can be open minded and they love you, they should eventually over time be able to understand you can’t exactly have the wedding of your dreams when the military controls your every move. I think it’s a great idea and we’re going to do it either way. I’m not sure about registering though, I know we will get things either way, but I feel a little guilty about it. Has anyone heard of wedding insurance? I was reading into it and if you’re planning on spending a lot or making a non-refundable deposit on a location (like we are) then you can get that money back if he gets deployed or gets orders to be somewhere else. If anyone has any info or experience with that, please let me know!!!
Good luck with both of the ceremonies!
shannon, hi,
* The Knot: Vows: How to Renew Yours
* Vow Renewal Wording
if you did not register for gifts the 1st time, then by all means go ahead. you will get mixed advice on this but it should be okay. etiquette says no but i know people are gonna ask where your registered. it will make it easy for them. do what you want. theres no hard fast rule that says you cant register!! enjoy your day and i wish you the best!! just go for things nontraditional, since i am sure you already have your household stuff. for save the date just make sure you mention it is a vow renewal or reaffirmation. instead of wedding.
Dear Anonymous Bride,
When you write the invitations, simply ask people to come help you to enjoy the happiest day of your life. How can anyone say no to that?
Everyone always has an opinion on your wedding. You can make a speech at the reception as to why you arranged the wedding like you did.
Make sure you take time to thank everyone who came personally. This will help soothe any hurt feelings.
If your fiance’ can get the leave and you are able to spend it together, then that is all that matters. Life is short so live it to the fullest as often as possible with those that you love.
A retired military wife–soon to be a military mom-in-law.
I was kind of in the same situation.
I knew we were going to get married we were engaged to be engaged, he was pretty much living at my house but he still had a room in barricks and had to do all the bs that single marines had to do. I wanted my dream wedding, white dress gifts dancing friends family and so on. The two of us couldnt really afford anythign much less a wedding and reception, so we wet to the court got our marriage license and got married at the court house. This way he can live at our house and we have the chance to plan and save for the wedding of our dreams and most of the people attending think were engaged. Our families know were married.
So what Im saying is go do the quick and easy court house marriage, and plan and save for the wedding. More military people do it then you would think.
… K
This is totally normal in the military! I don’t think it’s a good idea to begin your first year of marriage based on a lie though. Instead, I would explain to friends and family that you want to be married as soon as possible for legal purposes (or health insurance purposes or whatever), and that you wish to celebrate with them a year later when you can afford an appropriate celebration. It’s not really “PC” to mention you want to have a big wedding for gifts, particularly as you may end up spending more on the wedding than you will receive in return. If you’re concerned about invites, why don’t you have a civil ceremony and then host a religious (most military members seem to be religious) ceremony and invite others to “join the two of us as we unite in holy matrimony.” Hey presto, you skip the whole awkward “wedding numero dos!” tackiness. It’s ok to register for gifts, but put your first wedding anniversary as the date of your wedding on all of your registries. You can’t expect people to buy you gifts for both weddings, so you may just have to wait a year. Anyway, this is what I did, and it worked fine. Good luck to you!!
Oh honey. You are all worked up for nothing!! I consult my etiquette book for everything, and according to Emily Post, if you didn’t have a big formal celebration the first time you exchanged vows, then there’s nothing tacky about doing it at a later time. Besides, your friends and family will probably want to celebrate your love and your marriage. They will want to bless you with gifts. What you are choosing to do is perfectly acceptable. I would phrase the invitations as stating that you are renewing your vows or just having a reception to commemorate your vows one year ago. It’s perfectly normal and your loved ones will understand.
What are the color options for a USMC wedding? My fiance will be wearing his uniform which is red, white, royal and navy blue? I feel like I’m really limited. Suggestions? I DON’T want a patriotic red, white and blue affair!!!!
Hey Jules! Some ideas for you:
* Red & Peach Country Charm
* Peachy Keen
* Japanese Magnolia
* Run for Roses ( this is a red blue and white wedding it is amazing, it doesnt have to be patriotic!! its fab and chic and warm at the same time!!)
so many times it is hard for a military wedding to choose colors but this is the rule of thumb i would use. either classic neutrals and/or with pops of colors. or check out the colors that compliment navy blue. there are sooo many. like shades of pink for example. he has red in his suit so do white red and pinkish flowers. put the girls in a classic color like brown or black. even pink cause pink and red definitely go 2gether. it wont look awkward. i have read posts where brides dont pink a color from his suit but a subtle classic shade. pick what you love. i just saw a usmc wedding where the girls were in a elegant shade of minty green. green and blue also go together.
Some more ideas to get you going:
* Hot Pink, Blue, and White Wedding Colors (scroll down to mood board)
* NAVY BLUE MEETS PINK BLUSH= Inspiration Board
* Preppy Miami (love this alot)
* Blue Yellow Preppy Wedding
* Blue & Brown Wedding ( this is popular and wonderful!! add red to the mix like a soft soft red)
* Blue & Orange
* Hamptons by the Sea
* Plum & Indigo ( love this too) purple and blue go together.
* Purple Inspiration Board
* Dana’s Moroccan Wedding
* LIWeddings thread: Blue & Brown Wedding Colors
* Road Trip (pink, yellow, blue & white)
* Maine Coast Wedding
* Sophisticated Glamour (monochromatic with a Grace Kelly feel)
* Navy weddings, Part III ( love this so much easy going elegant)
* Navy, navy and more navy
* Simply Chic in Blue & Green (love the blue and green and the colored bouquets)
* Beijing to Boston ( this color scheme with added blue would be soooo amazing)
* Apple of my Eye ( my gosh this is beautiful) with the red & green pew decor pic below. it matches the bouquet, just add navy to all this — talk about wow factor!
I SURE HOPE THIS HELPS!! SMILE!! i gave different schemes. let me know what stands out to ya!! i will help more!! whatever compliments navy blue is the key!! no matter if its a military uniform or a plain navy suit, just treat it like a navy suit (as in color and you will have a fab wedding!!good luck!!!
Hi to all the military girls
I am a Lt. JG. Navy mans mom. The wedding is late November. Is it ok for me to wear a long black dress? My son seems to think it would look great with his dress blues and the groomsmen all in black tux. He is planning the arch but not a full military wedding. If the bride’s mother does not wear black is it unappropriate for me to wear black? It is a long black elegent dress. Please help me. I don’t want to give a wrong message wearing black.
Terry, great question. Your son is fine with it, that’s good. Is the bride fine too? Here are some common objections or considerations.
When a mother of the bride or groom wears black, they object to the marriage. OK, this is pretty Victorian. We can forget about that unless it’s a special concern of the bride. Black has become unremarkable for most at a formal occasion.
Does it coordinate with the MOTB? Traditionally the mothers coordinate their color, wearing something similar to the bridesmaids but lighter or more neutral. The main thing is that the mothers shouldn’t burn your eyes in photos together, or with the bridesmaids. E.g. lime green is probably out if the MOTB is wearing canary yellow. This probably isn’t much of a problem with black.
So basically — keep the harmoniousness of the pics in mind, make sure the bride’s on the same page and I think you’re good to go.
Thank you very much Dawn for your reply. To answer some of your questions: The bride and MOTB told me to wear whatever I am comfortable in and I am not getting an answer to what she is wearing. The bride told me black would be lovely. The bride and MOTB have not ever heard of the mother of the groom following what the MOTB may be wearing. The bridesmaids are wearing plum. The bride is wearing ivory. I am sorry I failed to mention these things in the previous please help me e-mail. Would it look bad if I wear black and the MOTB isn’t? My hairdresser and others alike hear clients come in and make comments about how they couldn’t believe they just attended a wedding where the mother of the groom was wearing black. I have struggled finding a dress. Some are too young looking and others make me look and feel old. Lighter colors are blah on me. Do you still feel black is ok? I bought the dress and it still has the tags attached. Things are shakey between our families too. My husband and I love the black dress. Thanks one more time for your help.
Terry, I think your main concerns are resolved here if the bride and MOTB are on the same page. If they don’t provide you with color guidance, and are fine with the black, then I think you’re in a good place. Plum would often otherwise dictate that you and MOTB wear something like lavender and frankly, I’d look like Queen Elizabeth in lavender, so I know exactly what you mean about that.
Black is chic, will match at least some groomsmen exactly (unless they’re all in dress blues), will look good with plum, and the bride’s immediate family is supportive. All that leaves to worry about is the stray guest who might complain to their hairdresser later on. If you can handle a few (possible) reservations from older guests whose opinions don’t really count here, I say go for it! You searched hard for a dress that you feel good in and it sounds like you found it.
PS, one more thing. It’s always nice to know you’re not alone … go through a flickr search for “Mother of the Bride” and click through a few pages. You will see your share of parents in black!
Dawn, Thanks again. I am going to wear the black dress. You are right. There are always those who like to have something to talk about. Thanks for understanding how I feel. You helped a lot. Thank you for the link too!
Hi Terry!
) which also happened to be Mum’s favourite purple and fit like it was made for her!
I’m about to be a bride -this St Valentine’s Day-and I am having a fully formal wedding. The boys are trying their tailsuits in a few days - so I hope they look OK in them! ;-) (esp the best man’s stumpy little legs!!!)
I was shopping with my Mum for her MOB outfit, and try as we might, there was nothing that didn’t look ill-cut or mishapen, or Queen-Mum, to the point where we were nearly gonna take the first thing that didn’t look ghastly!
Mum stumbled upon a gorgeous flowing sequined and beaded dress with a bolero jacket (Summer here in Oz!) which just happened to be black.. she was a bit concerned(*VERY*), I didn’t care one iota what colour she wore, as long as she was the 2nd most beautiful woman at my wedding! I met her straight away to have a look, because she was concerned about it being black etc.. It was stunning! Then disaster struck- a whole patch of beading just self destructed right there in front of the sales woman! Needless to say, there was full scale panic, then I stumbled across a glorious bead and sequin top with full length satin skirt on the reduced rack (of course the sales woman didn’t show Mum that outfit
If not for the beading-blow-out, I would have gladly seen my Mum wearing that glorious black gown to my wedding. I think the black/mourning thing has really gone a bit by the way-side, I mean, even most funerals ask you not to wear black anymore!
Rest assured, that if this Bridezilla didn’t mind her Mum in black, and your D-in-L to-be says it is OK, you go for it!
You deserve to look beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, whatever the colour!
If you were going to wear white, on the other-hand… grrrr.. that would be another matter! (my sister did that at my brother’s wedding- and it looks dreadful in the photos- kind-of pulls focus..but that’s my sister for you.. I’ve got her as my matron-of-honour, so I can make sure she doesn’t wear something stupid ;-) )
Oops Terry! just checked the date on your message, and it seems the wedding has passed! Even so, will leave this here for other Mum’s to see!
I’m sure you were beautiful, and that noone had any more than a passing thought about the colour of your outfit! And if they did? Well, they were at the wedding for the wrong reasons!
Good luck, blessings and best wishes to you,
Natalie B