Plan the Perfect Military Wedding
The day's finally arrived. After all these years waiting for the right one, you've finally find that special someone. Soon a marriage proposal comes your way, one that's sure to change life forever.
Finally, you've got the chance to plan the wedding you've dreamed about since childhood. And all your plans start falling in place, almost like magic — when suddenly something comes up to change the tune. Your soon-to-be spouse learns they're about to be deployed overseas.
All your hopes and dreams for happiness seem lost ... at least for now. You still long to marry — but there's so much to do, and so many unique circumstances that other couples don't face! From finding a chaplain to paying those amped-up fees involved in a rush wedding, your task list can seem even more daunting than the average bride's.
True, it's not like you're the only one to face this. Others, too, have lived the military life from day one, and were so proud to play a role that they enlisted as adults. If you're one of those who grew up in the military, shifting from base to base and city to city, you probably long for a military wedding that embodies all the traditions and pride you've cherished all your life.
Yet, as you know, there are plenty of rules and regulations when it comes to doing things military style — even for weddings. And staying within the guidelines can be overwhelming. As a bride, you need answers on how to do it — and those answers won't be found in the pages of all those bridal magazines or bridal books. But take heart!
It goes without saying: there are vast differences between a civilian and a military wedding. In the the latter case, the ceremony may take place at the base/post chapel. Your officiant will be a military chaplain. The Arch of Sabers or Swords (depending on the branch of service) is used. And you'll need to pay special attention to the special formalities involved with invitations and seating arrangements.
To help make your military wedding planning a little smoother, try these tips:
#1 - Buy Wedding Insurance
Even if the couple chooses not to have the traditional Military Wedding, insurance (unless they are having a quick, simple civil ceremony at the courthouse) will save headaches and cover the loss of deposits or money due to changes or cancellations. When you marry into the military, never-ending shifts in deployment dates — quick deployments, delayed deployments, and extended deployments — are common. It's best to plan ahead and be safe.Take this example: The date's been set for a year out. You paid the deposits, and prepared the invitations (whew!). Then a set of orders shows up for the bride or groom that read, "Report to your duty station 19 May 2012. " Unfortunately, the wedding date was set for 25 May 2012! You now have to change everything ... and even re-order those invitations.
Unless you're working with extremely military-friendly vendors, there's a real risk of losing hefty deposits. Insurance is your best bet for safeguarding against this.
#2 - Learn the Lingo
For a new bride who's marrying into the service, there's a whole new lingo to learn. For starters, you'll need to get acquainted with the formalities of the Arch ... but do the groomsmen raise Swords, or is it Sabers?Here's your answer: Sabers are used for Air Force and Army. Swords are used for Coast Guard, Marine Corps and Navy. The National Guard and Reserve go by the same etiquette and regulations of their service branch (i.e. Army National Guard, Air National Guard, Naval Reserve, etc). Also, although most military personnel won't own a Sword or Saber, they can contact the Chaplain — who'll normally have these on hand for your use, or if not, the Commander will.
There are plenty of other terms you'll want to become familiar with and knowledgeable about, but don't worry ... as time goes on, the language will become second nature.
#3 - "Can We Skip the Bride's Ceremonial 'Swat' With the Sword?"
For tradition's sake, you're better off leaving it in. After all ... wasn't it the tradition that drew you to the idea of a full military wedding in the first place? It's best to only omit this step if the bride's the service member.If you're not familiar with "the Swat," here's how it works: When the groomsmen assemble after the vows, the bride and groom then pass through the Arch of Saber or Swords (this symbolizes the military's welcome, and the couple's safe transition into their new life together). The couple pauses as the last two men lower their sabers or swords in front of the bride and groom. Then, the man to the right will then lightly "swat" the bride on the rear and say "Welcome to the Army" (or name the appropriate branch of service).
#4 - Know the Seating Etiquette
It's important to know the proper seating arrangements for guests — not to mention, where the bride and groom should stand, including who stands on which side. The standing arrangement is determined by whether the service member is an officer, or enlisted.A guest list will have Commanders, other Officers within the unit, and peers. It's important to know the proper seating for all your guests ... and also for the receiving line. Everyone associated with a service member (i.e. their Commanders, Officers and peers within the unit or office) should be invited to the wedding.
When seating the groom or bride's Commander and spouse, seat them with the family of the bride or groom, whichever group they represent. Commanders are usually seated in the front row when the bride or groom's parents can't attend. Seat all other higher-ranking Officers directly behind the family of either the bride or groom.
I need help!! My husband and yes i said husband are going to have a wedding since we didn’t get one cause he was in the Marine corps when we got married a year ago May 8, 2009. We have figured out our colors Red, Purple, Canary, and a little pink. I’m not sure if these colors are going to work together! (My husband has to wear red thats where the red would come in) and idea of some flowers but not sure how to make them mix and match. Also im still not sure about my BM’s color of their dresses! I was thinking of doing all four colors for the four of them but not sure. I need help please!!! Our wedding date is May 7th 2011 and its going to be out doors in a garden.
Please help me anything would help a lot!!
Samantha
Samantha A,
First I would like to ask what color flowers are in bloom during that time. It is usually best to pick colors that compliment your outdoor surroundings including flowers. Are there alot of flowers? If so, then that means you may not have to decorate as much.
* something like this would be really beautiful.
* look at the bouquet colors here, i love the way the reds are brought in the centers of the orchids without it actually being aprt of the color scheme itself
Samantha A,
* you might find some inspiration here
* multicolor pics
* this wedding has paler bridesmaid dresses each a different color
Samantha,
Sorry for all the posts but I just came across one you may like.
* real wedding
* another link
* real wedding
I am Trying To Plan A Wedding For When Fiance Come Home From Iraq Hes Leaving In April! I am Completely Clueless how to Go About it! I am Only 19 Gonna be 20. Hes In the Army. Hes Gone For A Year. It Gives Me sometime. Could Someone Help Me On How To Go About It?
stacy,
Coudl you tell me a little about the kind of wedding you would like and colors your drawn too? Have you got your venue? If so, do you have a pic or link I could look at?
yes mam im in iraq now and also leaving in april to come home for good and i am also planning a wedding for when i get home but we are renewing our vows but if u need any help just email me ive been planning for weeks and found alot of good websites for everything you need to cakes,themes,unity ceremonies,and anything else that deals with weddings im from south carolina and if you and your soon to be husband is also then i got numbers to people that can give ur great deals on photography,cakes,dresses,rings,and just about anything else thank you and congrats my email is chandlerman0069@yahoo.com
hi i am marrying my fience very soon. he is in the army. he is getting deployed in april. i love my baby
HEY! I am getting married in may of 2010 and my fiancee is in the navy stationed in washington. we are having a semi formal yet smaller evening wedding. we weret hinking about having the flower girl and ring bearer in sailor dress but we can only find the sailor dress blue in toddler size that dont look cheap costumy..my fiancee was planning on wearing his dress whites since the groomsmen are all in navy tuxes so he would stand out a little more..if anyone knows where i can get navy whites instead of blues that would be great! thanks
This website even has pink Sailor dresses for girls. Very cute stuff. Are you wearing white? We are both in the Navy and my dress is Champagne, I want him to wear his choker whites but afraid it wont look good with my dress. Any ideas?
ok so im 18 about to be 19 and engaged to a spc in the army. i have no idea how the wedding is suppose to work i have no ideas wut colrs to go with. do they have flowers or do i need to pick those? he is in iraq and coming home in september we will be getting married in december please someone help me im so confuse my email is punkroca101@yahoo.com
wow there is a few of us young people who are engaged huh.lol what color uniform is he in?what are you favorite colors and is it indoor or outdoor for what you want?and is it a small wedding you want or a big one?
idk he hasnt decided either dress blues or dress greens he said. my favorite colors are blue and green. i think its indoors the military is holding the wedding so i think its in a church im not sure the chapelin is marrying us. i want a big one i think because we both have alot of friends and family we want to be there
I tried to answer some of these questions. I have been planning my military wedding for about 8 months and enjoyed it so much, started taking courses for event planning and wedding planning. The planning part for my wedding is almost done and just sitting back and waiting 5 more weeks. So excited…If I could help any of you in any way, please feel free to email me and I will help you in anyway I can. I need the experience. So, my email address is bell_hoelzer_wedding@yahoo.com Give me a shout and I will get back to you ASAP. Good luck and happy planning.
So my boyfriend (soon fiance) and i are talking about getting married. We are talking about getting married after he comes home from his first deployment and he wants me to plan everything while he is gone…. I have no idea on how to coordinate the colors for everything because i want all the guys that are in the marines to wear there dress blues but one problem, not everyone in the wedding party are in the marines. I asked his opinion but he has no scene of color or matching really. I don’t really want the whole military wedding i just want to keep it simple but it means a lot that the ones who are in the marines wear their uniforms. And so i have no clue what for color the other guy’s tux’s should be along with bridesmaid dresses….HELP!?
Andrea, I have been there. Its all very confusing and hard to do on your own…well you know what I mean. Pick the colors YOU want…dont try to match with uniforms…you will never get anywhere
Promise you that much. According to A LOT of military wedding books it is considered disrespectful for the groomsman to wear their uniforms…Seems odd but its true. Go with your gut! Its your day!!! Good Luck! 
Bekah,
Thanks!
I really appreciate you’re help! I had no idea that it was disrespectful for the groomsman to wear their uniforms… So that just made my decision for the colors a lot easier!
wow i didn’t know it was disrespectful either. good thing i decided against it. do any of you know how long it will take for a soldier to get his dress blues? my fiance was married once before and he was in his greens. as you can tell it didn’t work out. so i don’t want him in greens we decided blue. i’m very superstitious.
he should have got his dress blues during his second year..but i could be wrong.but no i agree i would be the same way.yeah i would have never guessed but it does make sense yah know because its about the bride and groom yeah know
The army never “gives” dress blues. Unless you become a recruiter. You have to buy them. We just looked at them and they are very expensive. Around 400.00. But they are trying to do away with the dress greens and go to strictly dress blues. As with everything this will probably not happen for a few more years, but the dress blues are changing now, so you could probably get the older set on base cheaper now. ( I like these better anyway. More to them ans just look nicer).
is it really disrespect…i thought it was a good thing because of tradition.where did you find this out?because this well really help me too lol.
Yep, it is…Because its about the groom, not the groomsmen. I know its very odd. But its true..Military Wedding Books, most of them have something in there about it…its really up to you but for a traditional military wedding…only groom is in uniform :)
it is not disrespectful. are you serious? it is required actually if you know anything about the military. im getting married in december to my marine, and also joining the army after the wedding and my dad is a commander. im pretty sure i know alot about military. just not sure how to do my wedding colors!
Yes Sarah I am serious my dad is in Army; Uncle Navy; Cousin Marines; Uncle Army;…list goes on and on. Ive been a military brat my whole life! I know just as much. Promise you that!!!!
That is NOT true. Don’t know which books you have been reading, but I would throw them away…A true Military wedding the Groomsman (if in service) is in a dress uniform..Even guests are encouraged to wear their uniform to the ceromony. Check with your Chaplain..They can actually advise you to courses that are for military brides..They explain everything from a to z. They are free and go beyond the ceromony to things like rank, military courtsey, military edicate, etc. Very informative..
I agree that it is disrespectful, if it is a small beach wedding, which I am having, in ONE DAY, and I just found out the Groomsman wants to wear his BLUES.
I only want my future Husband to wear his blues, I only want to look at him that day.
It would be like my maid of honor wearing my wedding dress with me!
MY QUESTION IS;
How do I break it to our groomsman that I’d prefer him to wear casual beach attire, flipflops, and khaki shorts (not a bathing suit), and a nice collared shirt?
andrea, i am planning my marine wedding now. my bridesmaids are wearing a clover color, there will be one guy that will be wearing a tux as the others are in the marines. they will all be wearing there blues. i have two ring bearers and was gonna have them wear blues , its just to much money to rent or make . so the boys will be wearing a tux too. its really not hard you just need to go surfing the web . i found marine invites . and other stuff. good luck
Hey,
My fiance and I are getting married in December right after he gets out of his schooling. His best man is in the Army but my fiance is in the navy. He is wearing his white uniform and then his best man will be in his uniform. We’ve decided to make the groomsmens vest the same color as my white dress andt he accent with the color of the girls dresses..which ironically are navy blue. The navy is too dark so we decided to go light and add in the dark.
ok i need help…. i just got engaged and yes im 17 and yes i kno im young. he wants to get married after i turn 18 which is this september… yea i kno its 7 months away but it b4 i kno it im 18 with no weddin plans…. i live in tx and he is currently stationed in florida…. if anyone can help me i would be so happy and it would be much appreciated… my email is hells_angel2011@yahoo.com
and he is in the marines!!!!!
someone please help me!!!!!!!!
Hey Crystal,
dont trip ive been engaged since may of last year and im only 17 too well until this saturday ill be 18.So yes we have something in common and also my fiance is in the marines also.But he is stationed in california in san diego but im going 2 or 3 hours away.but we are getting married in december or january or february depending on his schedule.so first off do you know if you wwant a big wedding or small or a civil wedding?and are you going to do it with your own vows or the marines vows?
we want a big a marine wedding…. and we are gonna do the marine vows….. but its a budget that bothers us……. we are afraid we don’t have the money so yea… we are thinkin about doin a civil one and save up the money than have our big marine wedding
hey dont feel bad im doing the same thing.a wedding is still a wedding right..so think of it that way.
yea it is…
Crystal,
Hve you picked out a venue yet? If so do you have a link or pic so I could take a look? Also what is the color scheme your leaning towards? If you decide to go ahead an plan the big wedding for now or later, I would love to help with some ideas.
We are getting married in April. He is in the army and I am sure any branch would be the same. We are having a pretty big wedding and saving losts of money because of it. I’ll tell you how.1. Use the base Chapel and Chaplain. These are both completely free. Saves thousands on site fees.2.We are also doing our reception on base. There are usually several ballrooms and venues to choose from. We rented a ballroom that can accomodiate 275 for 250.00. 3.We used the base to cater. Price went from 40.00 a person to 14.00 a person for the same food. Check with florist on base and if that is not for you, then check with florist that offer military discounts. I did my own centerpieces for the reception and only bought flowers for the wedding. It was less than 500.00. We have an open bar with bartender, DJ, photographer, with an outdoor wedding for 100 people and have spent less than 2500.00.
Hi! I just read your comment. I am planning a military wedding for this October and we plan on using on base services – any suggestions or tips? I’m clueless!!! Thanks!
Crystal,
I’ve been to a lot of venues and still can’t decide…i know how stressufl it is not being able to set a date stragith down cuz it changes so much but face it when your in love it just makes since. good luck girl
it’s okay girl I’m only 18 and getting married in december. =) At first I was like oh my gosh this is crazy I have no idea what i’m doing…lol. well i’ve been engaged two months and it’s hectice but so much fun. tHe most important thing is figuring out if you want it to be military themed or not and then where and how. big or small..all the normal stuff…then you jsut relax and hav fun with the small detials cuz girls it’s your day.
ok so here goes!
Branch: Coast Guard
Dress: Oleg Cassini CV008
Date: Oct 2011, Fall
Venue: Undecided- Pensacola beach area, probably in a Park setting rather than beach, and definately Outdoor, or shaded area.
I cant make a decision on how colors, which is making it really hard for me to plan and purchase. To begin…this will be a vow renewal ceremony, however we never had a wedding so this is it….weve finally got close enough to home and I finally bought the dress and the details are starting to develope. We will treat this as a traditional military and traditional civilian wedding as much as possible despite it will be our 5 year anniversary…with just a few minor changes…but colors…I having such a hard time.
It is very important to me that we incorporate the coast guard and its colors as much as possible… at this moment there will be 3 Coasties, (Navy Blue/Bravos uniform/light blue shirts), 1 possible Airforce (also navy) and 1 possible Navy (white uniform), and 3 civilians… Now what do I put my ladies in…
This is what I like and want but its clashing to me…
First and foremost… my dress is ivory, which is complimented next to the the navy colored uniforms…but it has a ton of color… lots of hand embroidered flowering that is several pastel colors and a lot of gold trim work.
I really like the idea of an orange..i.e. satsuma, tropicana, even peach or mellon… but I have nothing like that in my dress…but I love this idea of color and coast guardishness….also orange doesnt always compliments its wearer and two of my bridesmaids happen to red heads…it will wash them out.
Next, I like the gold…its in all the guys uniforms, my dress, and its beautiful, but I think it will also wash out….and I want color, i.e. I bought a dress full of it for that reason.
Light blue comes to mind w/ orangish flowers and maybe even some red (even thou that totally doesnt go w/ my dress) due to the guys undershirts, the colors in my dress, and coast guard colors…
The last is navy…but I want more color….my civilian groomsmen will be in navy slacks and white shirts…and my flower girl will be in a navy petifold sailor nautical looking dress. so theres already a lot of navy…thats why I want more color….
and I want it to scream coast guard…its our life…it puts the bread on the table…and I’m very hard for the guard as they say….
I thought of sashes but am not that crazy about them although accesories havent escaped my mind, for instant navy dress with…something orangish…HELP
Its very important that everything matches…its just my personality…the uniforms already do the work of matching the dress but Im a very colorful person and I want that statement expressed as well as Semper Paratus…..! any ideas….
P.s. I loved the idea of wrapping the boquets in line (rope) and will be using that for sure…If anyone has any other ideas simular let me know…I love creative! I’m an artsy person. Thanks for all your help.
also I think I may put the guys in ivory/champaigne shirts rather than white….I wanna stay away from white…
Shannon,
Can I see a pic of your dress? or just a nice fabric swatch. Or link where you got it from?
I could look onto the embroidery and see what would compliment your dress, the setting, and the bridal party, along with the guys. Would love to help!!
* check this out.
Have you thought about a shade of green? Green compliments all colors, since it is in the grass, trees, leaves, etc. it highly compliments redheads. Each bm could wear a green that suits her and it is the PERFECT color for navy AND a beach wedding!
* love this color combo!
heres the dress pics….
green…idk….Im not sure how I feel about that and Im not critizing it either I just want to make sure we are one the same page….My DH is a Coastie…in a Navy uniform….(I only have one possible Navy member in a white uniform) Theres going to be a lot of Navy already…I would really like to draw away from that so that it balances my dress and the party out and doesnt overcome the entire event….So many choices…I really appreciate all the input and Im sry Im so picky, its hard to choose when I like so many things….
more nautical vs. sea I just dont want it to scream navy (as in the service not color) either… I love the anchors…its a special symbol for myself..I love the line/rope, ring buoys, etc….Its funny cause… I love the ocean (im a marine bio major) and hes in the guard…were trying to incorporate both themes..for instance I do want to use goldfish on the tables as something symbolic of my personality…orange in color for the guard, and two for the love we share… that kind of thing…so far…Im leaning toward navy, but i like tea length dresses I think although the longer satin dresses would go a lil better with mine and the fact that most of the guys are in full sleeve dress…I did like the navy and green a bit though…im not crazy about the lavendar so far…
Yes we are going to be in a beachy area but I like more of a park like venue, more green, so i really want to stay away from the beach theme at this time…. but I love the nautical…just not when it looks navy-like. wrong branch of service
oh okay…i checked out the link (im a lil slow sometimes…it does seem to go together very elegantly…and I like it…I just wish it were a lil more “coastie” -like.
P.s. the first comment i wrote back earlier can be deleted…the second is a copy of it but with a lil more detail…sry about that. The first told me it wasnt going to go thru and it went thru anyway…
Shannon,
beautiful dress. are you wanting the decor more seaside( nautical, anchors etc) or beach theme( seashells etc)? what about lavender? that would look gorgeous with the blue.
* coastal weddings
* nautical
Shannon,
* love love love this!
check out the other links and boards at
* favor ideas: style guide to the nautical ( preppy!) wedding
i LOVE the centerpieces….thats exactly the feel im looking for…not too beachy…not too navy…and i can incorp. that orange, or the fish into it too…..! thank you
My Marine of course is wearing Dress Blues for the wedding, and he wants his groomsman to wear their marine uniforms too, but they would be wearing Dress Blue Charlies (the tan long sleeve shirt and blue pants)
I honestly dont want the groomsman to wear their uniforms because I feel like me and my fiance should have all the attention. but if we decide to do that..what colors go good with that?
I DO NOT want to have red at all..thats way to original.
And our wedding is in the fall.
Colors I was thinking about was..orange..dark purple..or a blue color…but its hard to match orange and dark purple with charlies lol
Kate,
I do like the idea of a shade of orange. The bm’s may have a difficult time carrying this dress color though. If you decide against the orange why not choose a pale and deep blue? It is a traditional wedding color and you could pair it with white and khaki. If it is a lowkey wedding why not have the guys in taupe/khaki suits? Another color is having florals in simple whites or creams, pair this with a matching blue linen and it would be very crisp and beautiful, add fresh greenery for pop!
no they wear alphas. not charlies
hey stacey,
i am engaged to a soldier (HOORAH!) and we’re planning a wedding for august 2011, when he gets home for deployment. we want it at the beach in the evening. any idea on what colors we should do? he will be wearing his dress blues.
thanks so much!!
Its HOOAH…lol there’s no R in the Army’s Hooah.
aly,
Do you have any fave colors that you prefer? Are you having an outdoor ceremony and reception? There are many colors that can work. ocean colors in shades of blues, sunset colors,taupes and sand colors. For the dress blues, aqua with deeper blue bouquets and taupes or crisp white in reception linen would be beautiful. I am a huge fan of blue and green for a beach wedding. It is serene and beautiful. Can’t wait for your reply!
Hello just a silly question …
how you know how is the groom if everybody uses uniform?… I know the family and friends will know him but the waitres , barman etc in the party hos they will recognize the groom?
My sister in laws fiancée is in the Navy. He’ll be wearing is dress whites while the other guys are in there dress blues.
ranks and well…they all look different and he wont have a boungeet on him the groomsmen will
Kay so my boyfriend soon to be fiance is going into the Marines In August of this year and he is coming back the first week of December which kinda works but he only has 10 days and he wants to get married.So hell be in his Greens and I have no idea what colors to go with.But he says we should have a little civil wedding and another the following year for a real wedding.But my questions is that a good idea?Im so confused.I need help lol.Im kinda stressing.Or if i start planning now of december of 2010 well be getting married within his 10 day leave be possible?
thank you so much!
Ariel,
Oh yes, you can definitely have a civil ceremony then have a full blown wedding later. For the civil ceremony just have a nice, intimate dinner with close family and/or friends. Just simply go to a nice restaurant. This is very popular among brides marrying a soldier. But there is still time to plan a wedding since it is a year away but you will be sacrificing a long honeymoon due to him preparing to leave again. If the honeymoon is a must then you could have a civil ceremony and then a bigger wedding when there was a little more time to go somewhere without having to be pressed for time. If you decide to wing it and have a bigger wedding anyway followed by a week long honeymoon then I wouldn’t recommend a honeymoon to far away cause you could deal with unforseen issues that may delay your trip home and it would put you both in a time crunch. I would talk to the groom and come to a mutual decision. Burgundy, or champagne, even all white would be a great color to use for a December wedding to match his greens. When you decide let me know and I would love to help you with any ideas!
Thank you so much Stacy.Yeah I have been talking to him tonight.He wants to have a full blown one after his secondary training in like February or March so we have already looked at a place its called Los Willows.Kinda expensive but
his base is in San Diego and that’s where this place is.But we figure we are still gonna do the military wedding but were gonna do like The Princess and the Marine…with a Carriate how ever you spell it.So what colors would go good with the dress blue out in a big green grass area for the month of February and the month of March so I can try on deciding.Thank you so much =]
Ariel,
You basically have your pick of colors indoors and out. I am assuming your gonna use the reception venue with the draping? What are some colors your drawn too? I will start pulling ideas.
Im having..especially because of the theme there will be glass slippers.so im liking silver and burgundy or red.but he wants the marine colors in[so like royal blue,red,and like gold..i guess?]since hell be in his dress blues know so will the groomsmen.So i works out to my liking =].so im thinking for one of his groomsmen wont be in uniform…should he wear a blue tux with a hint of red so he blends?and i love lilly as orchids..but with white roses…but i found a red dress and i know it would be different but what would the brides wear…so im thinking of a white dress with either red or brugundy accents?but with the theme i would have to wear a white ball gown like cinderella.
thank you so much again..your a big help
Ariel,
This has deep pink but look how great it looks! You could switch out the pink and pull in the burgundy.
This gives you an idea of how it can look.
* real wedding
* found this and wondered if you might like it? keep the blue to the bridal party
* this would look beautiful with burgundy!
Ariel,
I made you a board based on your ideas/colors. Hope you like it!
yeah it really helped thank you so much
Hi Everyone!
I have a kinda complex question. My boyfriend (soon to be fiance) has told me he’s going to propose next summer when we gets home from his current deployment. As a result I’ve already started to plan out the wedding. He wants it to be as soon as possible as we don’t know when his next deployment will be. I want to graduate from college first, and will do that in December of ’10. Is it acceptable to have a simple courthouse ceremony without changing my name, and then a more official wedding ceremony in April of 2011? Thanks!!! :)
Autumn,
Yes you can do this but the “official” wedding will be a vow renewal with all the decor of a first wedding. I would find out what or if there is a time limit to change my name after the civil ceremony. Sometimes the state has a time limit.
Autumn,
oh yes, i would find out what the military requiements are on this too. they may advise you to change your name at the civil ceremony. especially due to putting you on his insurance too.
* read this
My now husband and I are planning the same thing. We had a simple small ceremony just me and him without changing my name, and we plan on having a more official wedding ceremony around the same time as you. we are happy. thanks all that matters. sometimes you have to do it this way with the military.
Autumn,
My husband & I had a civil ceremony before he left for his deployment. I’m currently in the process now of planning our wedding ceremony & reception for after his return.
How soon you change your name is up to you. There is no statue of limitations on changing your name. HOWEVER, I would highly suggest that if you do plan to take his name, that you do so right away. This will make your life, as a military spouse, while he is gone a LOT easier!!
I went ahead and did my name change. We had to rush all the paperwork so that I could get my new ID card & sign up for medical benefits before he left. It was a rush, but I’m glad I did it!
For the ceremony this summer, I’m still using my maiden name on the invites…even though both our families know we’re already legally married. This way it’ll still have that “new” feel to it.
Hi! My name is Megan and my Fiancee is in the army and I’m trying to figure wedding colors out. He’ll be in his class A’s, and My dress is white w/ burgundy trim. I’m not sure what the brides maids dresses colors should be. Any ideas?
I have time, We’re waiting till after his deployment to marry.
I just figured the more I figure out now the better.
We’re thinking an outdoor Fall wedding.
All depends on his deployment.
Thanks! Any ideas are helpfull
hi im phillyne and my fiancee is almost done with his latest deployment so i do understand. my fiancee and i are having the same types of concern (or at least i am) and what i originally wanted was a white dress with blue trim but i found that with his dress greens and the blue from my dress, the collors clashed and my brides maids were going to have the same blue color but with white trim. i’m now trying to do compatable colors to NOT clash with his uniform. i say consult the dress maker to help you decide what will look best. make sure they understand he’ll be in his greens and they know what colors you both like and see if they can help coordinate without clashing.
i also found that you should take in concideration what kind of lighting there is in the chapel. some have dim or poor lighting and some are to bright and then the perfect lighting of course anything looks great. unfortunatly ours has very poor lighting and everything it in is very dark from the wood staining to the cloth on the benches. this also effects how your colors will appear to everyone at the wedding. so consult the chaplin as well. he’s done wedding before and will be able to tell you what looks better in his opinion as well.
my best idea whatever colors you go with…please make sure you AND your wedding party dont clash with your soon-to-be hubbies duds. would hate to see a fellow brides wedding be remembered by his unit as the wife that clashed colors. my friend did that and 3 yrs later they still tease her over it.
i know that you and your hubby-to-be and everyone in your wedding party will look great and that you’ll have a wonderful day to remember. good luck with your new life and “welcome to the army!”
Dear Phillyne,
Thank you SO much!!!!
Your comment means alot to me.
Thank you so much for the very helpful ideas.
I truly Hope you and your Hubby-to-be have a Wonderful wedding and a Happy marriage. How long does your Fiancee have on his deployment? Mine leaves in march.
It will be my first to go though, So I pray I don’t go crazy with worry. Like I said in my first posting, I have lots of time to plan our wedding. So if you need any ideas let me know, I’m a decor freak. But I would be happy to help in any way that I can.
I was curious, if you don’t mind me asking what state do you live in?
My Fiancee has some friends that are getting married as well, and I was just thinking it would be funny if your Fiancee and mine knew of each other. Again thank you for your “letter”.
Megan
i live in texas. my first husband got stationed here as his first posting and i stayed here when we got divorced and he got restationed. i met my fiancee just after he got stationed here.(i’m at fort bliss to be exact) so i had just finished my 2nd deployment with my ex when divorced(it was a 3 yr divorce) and pretty much went right in another with my fiancee. hes got about 3 months left and should be home in april “sometime” so we’ve got some time to plan. it’s just a bit hard cuz i have 3 kids from my ex and i have my fiancee’s lil boy to. we’re learning to mesh families. lol. it’s fun though and we dont have to go looking for flower girls or ring barer. we already got’em.
a military wedding is new to me cuz me and my ex got married a year before he joined army. so i’m glad im not doing the same thing twice. but i know this time it’ll work. i’m older and wiser now. lol
Hello, Well my fiancee is stationed in Kansas, and I live in Michigan. So its hard to plan the wedding.
I just got back from a four day weekend with him, it was WONDERFUL!!!! But so hard to leave.
I’m sure that ALL your kids will have fun with the wedding. How old are your children?
I hope everything goes smooth for you.
Have fun!
okay.. my situation is really special!
my fiance is in the navy and i want to honour him by having a military wedding… but its gna be on march 27th which is still going to be very much wintery in this state.
so i also want it to be winter wonderland kinda theme! however.. we arent gettin married in a chapel because we are both muslims….
yeah.. its def diff. and i was wondering how can we go about decorating the banquet that we rented to incorporate winter and military theme.. tgether in a beautiful way!?
plzz help me!! if i cant figure out the decorations we will hv to postpone.. i dnt wanna hire a planner bc its a waste of money for us…
Zee,
* I ran across this wedding yesterday. I think this would be perfect for your theme.
those centerpieces are gorgeous! i am loving the white and periwinkle, simple yet elegant and is the perfect to shine the wintry decor.
* wedding 2
Just plan your wedding decor as any wedding. adding military wedding protocol accordingly;
* navy wedding
* more pics
* xtra pics
Our wedding will be 8-22-10 with a military theme. My husband to be is retired army. Our colors will be red,white & blue with my dress being white and burgandy. He will be in dress blues. My problem is trying to come up with some type of simple table decorations for the reception which will be at the K of C Hall so the retangular tables will be run in rows. The champagne brunch will be buffet style Any suggestion would be apppreciated
linda,
could you tell me which k of c hall location it is? if it is the one called the columbian now.
is it gonna be a simple casual affair? either way i would go with candles, you cant beat the beauty of submerging flowers in cylinders with flaoting candles.
*ideas
*simple centepieces
*love this with red petals
* or this, it doesnt get more simple and beautiful than flowers in a vase
*beautiul ideas here
*rose petal centepiece
* this has and will be one of my all time favorites!!easy, simple, romantic
My husband was active duty Army for nine years and is now serviing in the DC Army National Guard. When we reply to invitations, have address labels printed, etc., how should we convey his rank and branch affiliation? Is it even appropriate because he is not active duty? For example, is something like, “Captain and Mrs. John Doe, ANG” acceptable? or is it just Captain and Mrs. John Doe?
Jennifer,
Your husband is a Captain in the United States Army. Period. The fact he is a Guardsman does not mean that he is any less important than an AD member. The proper way to address yourselves is how you mentioned, “Captain and Mrs. John Doe, ANG”. You do need to add branch affiliation so that the reader understands which rank your husband is. (For example, a Captain in the Army & Air Force is an O-3, but a Captain in the Navy is an O-6.)
Source: 10 years in the Air Force & 2.5 years in Protocol
Hey all. I just have a quick question:
I’m engaged to an NCO stationed in Oklahoma, yet we are planning on having our wedding back in our home state of Michigan (since most of our families live there). I am really excited to have a traditional military wedding, but I am concerned about being able to pull off the Arch. All of my fiance’s military friends live here in Oklahoma – is it too much to ask them to fly all the way to Michigan? And if they are willing to do so, what if they can’t get leave time? Any comments or suggestions?
Jessica,
I would talk with them about it first and see what can be done and then go from there. it is not to much to ask if you they were included on the guest list anyway. so that alone would be a big plus.
You can also get your husband to call up a local Guard or Reserve unit in MI and see if y’all can get some help from their Honor Guard.
Hi Stacey (you seem to be the go to gal),
I need help to incorporate some naval touches into a 1940′s garden themed wedding. The groom is in the Navy as well as his groomsmen and they will be wearing their uniforms. The overall feel of the wedding is simple garden, with mason jars, vintage photos, pearls and peacock feathers. The brides colors are cream, teal and accents of brown. She does not want the military theme to be overstated but would like small simple touches. Any ideas would be greatly apprciated. The only thing I could come up with is incorporating the anchor, but how?
Thanks so much!!
Ruth,
ya’ll are to kind!! i am so happy i am able to help with the brides special days. I love LOVE! the anchor, it is actually perfect for a 1940′s style wedding. i would add it on the programs ( motif), invites, paper goods. i would make sure the paper has an vintage look to it to bring out the naval theme. another thing is to find a naval charm ( anchor?) and have it attached to the bridal bouquet on a tiny blue ribbon( for the something blue). also think about a anchor cake topper. that is actually all i would add, so it would be simple and beautiful for the theme.
Ruth, another idea is to have old looking frame plaques and name each table after a USS ship.
Thanks Stacy, these are great ideas. Do you happen to know of a good site that sells the naval charms? I would like to just get some white plastic ones; I’ve looked and have not had much luck.
Would incorporating the sailors hat be too much? And if I did it how would you suggest to use it. Keep in mind this is still a garden style wedding.
The only other idea i had for adding the naval touches was to frame vintage pictures of the ships and soilders.
Thanks for all your help.
ruth,
i would try craft stores, they should have what you need.
*these are not white but they would work great
*more charms
*silver charms
*OMG! look at this!
*anchor cake pulls
*love this!
your right the white plastic anchors are very hard to find! if soemthing happens and you cant find them then just find a tall lightweight anchor and set it beside your wedding cake with a sailor hat. that would work very well. actually i was gonna suggest putting the sailor hat by the cake in a setting. the frames with the ships/ sailors would be perfect and a great conversation piece. i love wrapping the bouquet with the nautical rope. if you cant find any white charms just add a silver one to the bouquets. with the rest of the decor it will be a good balance. if to much nautical is used it would take away from the 40′s theme and make it more ship like. just a few touches would be enough. in the 40′s they didnt have much so having a themed glass heirloom looking cake topper and the groom in uniform would have been how they would have decorated. ( even though the cake topper i posted most likely wouldnt have been invented). it would have been a simple cake with a very traditonal bride and groom topper ( the one with the lace and white plastic). those silver cake pulls could be used and are gorgeous! that would “fit’ into the vibe and still staying true to the 40′s. i would actually stick with the metal naval charms instead of the plastic for more authenticity. LOVE the vintage frames though! flea markets and second hand stores. have any old family letters from the 40′s? make copies and set those out in strategic areas. another idea is honor all those soldiers and get pics and enlarge them, put them in frames, and hang them on a wall with vital info like a military hall of history.guests would most likely get a kick out of it! great for cocktail hour. just any military members from the family/friends. this would be a rare but very remembered thing to do at a wedding. plus it is really not that expensive to do. simple frames from a dollar tree or flea market and enlarging pics to a “decent” size would be sufficient, they all dont have to be 8×10 or bigger. just an idea!!
Thanks Stacy –
I love the idea for wrapping the bouquet and the cake pulls.
Thanks for all your help!
Hi Stacey, you seem like the lady to go to when a girl needs help! I just got engaged last weekend and with the groom in the military the wedding is planned for the first weekend of Feb 2010! I am so far behind already and have no clue of what colors I want! I am having trouble because the groom and the groomsmen will be wearing thier dress blues along with two others, while one will be in his dress greens, and two others in tuxedos. I will attach pictures of the venue we have! I was thinking some colors that are more casual like a dark brown, ivory, and light yellow. Please help me!
Thank you so much!!
Vanessa
vanessa,
WOW! what a venue! it looks like a tuscan or spanish type setting. as far as the guys dont worry about matching the uniforms. i am loving the dark brown, yellow, and ivory.
* check out how it resembles this italian venue! have you thought abput adding only faint touches of orange or even pink? it doesnt have to be much just in the centerpieces.
if you like the tuscan theme, consider ( also) using grapes in your centerpieces.
* beautiful centerpiece
let me know if this is something you would like
Hi,my names sarah and im getting married in september 2010.My fiance’ is in the National Guard and is planning on wearing his class A’s,i dont really want to use green in my colors,but im confused on which colors to use,so that it still matches him but doesnt clash.. The wedding will be outside,so i want fall colors.. Any ideas id be so greatful and maybe ideas on flowers too,i was thinking sunflowers,but im not sure how’d that look…
Sarah,
Since his attire will be his uniform, it is not necessary to match. with his class a’s, you are in luck cause fall colors will match perfectly!! green will go with everything, that shade also. sunflowers would be beautiful.
*check out this
*WOW!! I love everything about this wedding! the colors pop, look at those sunflowers!
*beautiful!
*this is just perfect!
i just put together a board to give a idea of the color scheme. i simplified it cause the many mixes of colors with the green ( on the board) looks to busy.
I am getting married to my best friend and we both have agreed that we are going to have a Military wedding, but in a church to make our families happy. I need help finding places in Michigan that will meet both of the requirements. I am an Army brat so I know how things have to be just not all that good with the state we are planning on getting married in…If anyone could help me that would be wonderful..
Thank you very much,
Amanda
I have in the middle of a HUGE dilema. the wedding is 81 days away and I have everything planned. The colors I have for the BM’s are a burgundy/wine colored dress and they will be carrying green orchids that have the burgundy lip in the middle. My dress is ivory and I have white orchids with the burgundy lip. I did all of this because my fiance is in the army and was going to wear his class A’s. However, he just got promoted to CPL and wants to get his dress blues. Should I change the flowers? What could I change them to? Should I leave them the same? ugh! please help!
makayla,
i would leave everything alone. the burgundy/wine and the green orchids will be a gorgeous compliment to the dress blues. it is actually probably gonna be a better combo for pics especially with the jewel tones and the fresh green. if you want to pull in some blue just leave it to you and him and wrap your bouquet with the same shade of blue he is wearing in the ribbon around your bouquet. the ribbon and his uniform can be your something blue!!
I am getting married on Valentine’s Day and despirately need some guidance. My fiance’ is a Marine but I think the only thing Military we are wanting is the sword ceremony. The wedding will be held 4 hours from a Military base though so is there any way that we can still make this happen??
Thank you,
Kristin
kristin,
Hi! do you mean the sword ceremony at the location?
*tips
i hope i gave you the right link you needed if not let me know!!
I”m needing help! I recently got engaged to my best friend and he just happens to be in the marines. We dont want a full military wedding but we cant decided on colors. He will be wearing his dress blues and i desperately need help in deciding the colors and arrangements. He is leaving it pretty much all to me and i can’t decide. Can anyone help?! Our wedding date is July 31st, 2010
Maybe different blues & silver would look really beautiful. I will look up some links & post the links for you but don’t worry everything will be fine I’m in the same boat with my fiancée he wants me to plan everything my self too
stephanie, first what color is your location. this will play a huge factor in your colors. do you have a pic?
Hi My name is ashlee, and im engaged to the man of my dreams, and he is in the national gaurd and we are getting married march 20th 2010, and he is going to wear his green tux or whatever, and i dont know if i should have my colors the dark green & like Black & silver, i just dont want anyhting to clash at my wedding, but were not making the wedding a real military wedding, so im so confused how to do all this stuff, since im not in the military… HELP Me Plz
ashlee,
you really dont have to match his uniform. are you wanting something with some color? i do love black green silver white color scheme though. it is very sharp when put together.
*google images and boards
*black white green
*more black white green
there are lots of colors that go with the dress greens. could you tell me the colors you both like then i can find some ideas or make you a wedding board.
*wedding forum page with pic links
*navy and green
*yellow and green
*this will always be one of my faves, the orchids have a touch of color to add.
*champgne and green
*sage and purple
* if you wanted you and him to really stand out as a couple wera this!so beautiful
*you can search any color or type any color combo you want and see how it will look, i love this site
well both of our fav. colors is green… so thats the other reason i would like to have green, but i dont want his suit really dark green and our green a light one… ya i love the black, silver, green & white theme too i just didnt know if it would look ok? i know i have 5 months left but im already freaking out about everything… i feel like im going to for get something, or not get stuff done in time.. so more ideas plz, lol
ashlee,
have you thought about putting the girls in black? then add green and white florals? silverware, silver accessories, cake plate, silver floral containers? i think it would look fantastic, very very nice. have cylinder vases with floating orchids and a floating candle? white linens, black napkins or black runners. simple chic.
if you do this color scheme i would have a a lighter shade of green like hydrangeas with white roses or orchids to contrast. another color is using brown and green. that is a gorgeous combo. since you love green i would stick with that, but not the same shade as the grooms suit. it will not flow as well if everything matches that shade of green. now adding lighter to darker greens with whites inthe florals would look beautiful. you could add a touch of very pale yellows in the florals.
*something kinda like this
*or this ( i love love love how this looks, with a touch of pale pink in the florals to break it up a bit)
*carla wedding, love how they did this ( this is a great way to decorate for a march wedding)
*more from previous wedding
if there are other colors youd like me to look for paired with green, let me know which ones you both lean too. thanks a million!!
omg i love the ideas :) thank you so much… he doesnt care on the detailes im planning hes just showing up..lol so i def. can use all the help u want to give :) my info is froggiez1@hotmail.com or cell # 309-299-2470 i will take all ideas u can throw at me, :)
ashlee,
keep me posted on help ya need. i am so happy you loved those ideas!! have a wonderful wedding!
Hi ladies!!!
Ok… so I am recently engaged to the man of my dreams (and of course he has to be a soldier lol). I have no clue where to start. I am attracted to the idea of a military wedding but we will be getting married soon (December)… and it will be a very small wedding- both been married before. Mainly just family and friends. I am worried about attendance and of course “the arch”. Any advice???
Of COURSE you can have the Arch if you want! Check out http://usmarriagelaws.com/search/united_states/military_marriages/index.shtml, which gives invaluable advice on military traditon and customs. There is also a book out called the Military Bride, by Vanessa Baldwin. If you want to do the Arch, ask the post Honor Guard to assist you. Just be warned about the swat. Expect it. Welcome to the family and have a piece of cake for me! :)
Becky,
Thank you for your help. I am hopeful this will all work out. With my fh stationed in Alaska it is difficult to come up with enough to do the arch – my main worry. I mean of course we could fly “his guys” down here to Georgia, but man that gets expensive fast.
ashley,
if you need any help with colors etc. let me know. would love to help out!! have a great day!
Hi, I’m Melissa & I am engaged to a US Marine. We live in Jacksonville, NC and are planning on having our wedding July 2010. The main colors are red, white, and blue..but I don’t want it to come off as too patriotic, you know? How can I keep my colors, but keep the USMC theme as well? We are having a traditional USMC wedding.
melissa,
would you consider adding another color to the palette? like here, where they added shades of wines, burgundy and red? pretty nice!
*color board
*another idea
*military real weddings
*wedding board
*brides.com
*real wedding
*nice
*blue and red
*lots of pics
Hi! Melissa I just want to say welcome to Jville!!! I live here to; In Midway Park base housing.Hope you find everything you looking for,I have to plan my wedding for next year too;I don’t even know where to start.
I’ve been engaged to a wonderful man for almost a year and planned on getting married before he was deployed but did’t want a shot gun wedding. He will be returning home july 2010 and could be deployed 6 months after returning home. We have both been married before and had bad marraiges. Is it proper to have another formal wedding like our firsts and since he is in the national guard can we have military style wedding? Also, I’m not sure on colors that would go with Army colors. My sister was my maid of honor in my first wedding is it okay to have her as my maid of honor in this one or not? Were close and really want her in it any ideas?
the color scheme you wanna keep with navys or blues or whatever matches the uniform. if you can have a military wedding i’m not sure.
jennifer,
yes you can have a formal wedding if that is what you want. yes as long as he is active you can have a military wedding. just follow the same etiquette for the branch of service he is in. army national guard. i would love to help with your colors! it is best to look at the venue, you will want to compliment that. you can have her as your maid of honor again.
*military wedding tips
*more tips
*the knot military weddings
*army weddings
*real weddings
Of COURSE you can! I’m marrying into the Army for the 3rd(!) time! (I’m a glutton for punishment!) And welcome to the family! :)
Amber,
as long as he is retired or active you can have the traditions including the uniform. if he is active/retired he can choose either a tux/suit or his uniform( matter of choice) that is for any gm too.
*civil and military guidelines
*military Q&A
*red and yellow wedding board
*lots of pics to search